||As seen in Entertainment Weekly! No really!
Written by: Chefelf
Edited by: Jacques
Before the Pod Race Sebulba walks by Anakin's pod and unhooks a cable. He says, "Uh oh." Then he chuckles to himself as he walks away. I actually think that this is pretty funny. If he hadn't said "Uh oh" I wouldn't have paid any attention to it at all.
Sebulba says "Bantha Poodoo!"
Sebulba says "Bantha Poodoo" because it wouldn't be right if two minutes elapsed in this film without some sort of inane reference to the first three movies. Any Star Wars fan worth their weight knows that "poodoo" is Huttese for "fodder". There is no conceivable way that anyone who loses a race will become fodder for anyone or anything. Surely Sebulba could have thought of something a little more clever than this to say. Wait, no he couldn't... George Lucas was writing his lines.
Anakin's Two Faces
Could the pod race be any longer? People kept saying how awesome the pod race was going to be and how much it "kicked ass". I found it rather boring. During the entire pod race sequence I am never fully convinced that Anakin is in a pod, rather I am reminded of the poorly done car sequences from the movies of the thirties and forties. Anakin only ever makes two faces. Either he's puckering his lips or he is gritting his teeth. He doesn't seem to have any idea what is going on in the pod or the race. That's because it's a movie and Lucas reminds you of this by spending nearly half the pod race focused on Anakin's face.
"I don't care what universe you're from..."
The idea of an announcer with two heads giving two commentaries in different languages is absurd enough. The fact that one of the heads actually says, "I don't care what universe you're from, that's gotta hurt!" may in fact be the thing in my life that currently pains me the most.
Jawas appear sporadically throughout the Tatooine segments. They never say anything except the classic Jawa line: "Oonteenee!" I wonder if they are speaking Huttese or if they have their own language. Either way, their brains must be unusually small if their only expression seems to be: "Oonteenee!"
"Hey Jawa, you just won the lottery!"
"Hey Jawa, your mom just died!"
"Hey Jawa, you have a nice butt."
Once again we are confronted with Sebulba using the term "bantha poodoo". When he looses the race he shouts: "Poodoo!" I am not one of those guys who memorizes the made-up languages in these movies (although you should be certain that they do exist) but I do know a little bit of Huttese. We know from Return of the Jedi that the phrase "bantha poodoo" means "bantha fodder". Now if we assume that "bantha" translates to "bantha" then that would leave "poodoo" meaning "fodder". What kind of person uses the word "fodder" as an expression of disdain? Can you imagine being beaten by your arch nemesis and crying out "Fodder!" as your last words? Of course you can't because no one would ever do that! What he should have said was: "poopoo!"
The Greedo Costume
When Anakin celebrates with his friends after winning the race it becomes ridiculously obvious that the baby Greedo is just a midget in a costume. It's clearly not a kid because he's much to pudgy. At no point do you think that it's an alien, you just think it's someone in a pretty good Halloween costume. They had the technology twenty years earlier, why can't they pull it off now? I'd also like to know how Greedo eventually slimmed down to the size he was in Episode IV. Somewhere on Tatooine I suspect there is a George Foreman grill.
At one point after the pod race Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon talk via Jedi cellphone and Obi-Wan says: "Why do I sense that we have picked up another pathetic lifeform?" This is one of the highlights of the movie because not only is he calling Anakin pathetic but he is also implying that Jar Jar is pathetic and what's not to love about that?
At two separate points in the movie Anakin exclaims, "Yipee!" The second "yipee" comes when he learns that he is going to join Qui-Gon and leave his mother, home and everything he knows, forever. Two things: 1.) No ten year old could deal with this so easily and 2.) no one has ever actually said "Yipee!" about anything.
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After Anakin stops being an idiot and figures out that never seeing his mother again means that he's never going to see his mother again, there is a touching mother and son scene that leads to a heart wrenching 24 second pouting sequence after which Anakin entirely forgets his mother ever existed. He also ditches C-3P0 and is pretty much a total asshole about it, not being sad at all about stranding his "robot buddy" on Tatooine.
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