With the imminent release of Star Wars: Episode II, I have spent a lot of time reflecting on Star Wars: Episode I, The Phantom Menace. Every time I get into a heated discussion with Paul, Laura and Jacques about this (which is every time I speak with any of them) we always start bringing up specific segments of the movie that we hated. Every time we discuss it it seems that there are more and more things that I had forgotten about that really piss me off. Finally I decided to sit down with a pen and a pad and write the definitive list of my gripes with the movie.
It had been two and a half years since I had last seen the movie and I feel that I have had plenty of time to "cool off" about things that ticked me off and can now complain about them mercilessly with a level head. This list may be viewed as "out of date" or "incredibly stupid" but that is okay. It is without a doubt the most complete list about problems with the movie on an internet made up of millions of angry Star Wars fans. Keep in mind that I spent the first 21 years of my life being a die hard Star Wars fan and am now just a fan out of obligation.
I feel that the best way to vent my anger and frustration is not to make a website with the header: "Jar Jar Binks Sucks!" or "Jar Jar Binks ate my balls!" A common misconception is that Jar Jar Binks ruined the entire movie. This is not the case. I hope I kill that myth by proving that the absence of Jar Jar Binks would still leave us with a horrible, awful, despicable, fetid, stinking, disgusting, awful movie.
To be fair I have included SPECIAL BONUS Reasons to LIKE Star Wars: Episode I to highlight the few things about the movie that I actually like. These reasons will be prefixed with an asterisk. These are all about specific things in the movie directly related to storyline and such so you will not hear me talk about how great the special effects were or that Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman are all great.
The list is presented in chronological order for your enjoyment.