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As stated in my previous review of the Gallagher's 2000 Space Alien Commercial, I did not have a recording of this commercial . . . UNTIL NOW! Thanks to the miracle of DVR (and Comedy Central's love of airing stip club commercials during every commercial break of The Daily Show, I have been able to capture a moment in Gallagher's 2000 history. The original Godzillaesque dancing woman! Enjoy:
Typically the strip club commercials always always fall into the low-budget-last-commercial-during-the-last-commercial-break-slot on most network breaks. They solely feature sexy women who are acting -- albeit poorly -- like they would enjoy nothing more than to show you a 'good time'.
Gallagher's 2000 laughs at that commercial-making philosophy. Why have an overly made up woman lick her lips and blow a kiss at the camera when they can push strip club commercials into the absurd? Why not have space aliens come to Earth simply to enjoy their lap dances? Why not have a giant Godzilla woman terrorize a fake, vacant cityscape?
My only criticism of this effort is that they didn't play up the Godzilla size nearly enough. Sure they say, "World class sophisticated adult entertainment that stands above the rest." Yuk. Yuk. But they're really missing the boat on what could be a blockbuster commercial that would be much more memorable.
The plus side is that this was their first commercial (that I noticed) and they considerably upped the ante with the alien commercial that followed it. So this trend shows that they're taking their commercials in the right direction.
But here's what I would have done differently with this commercial:
EXT. VACANT BLACK & WHITE CITYSCAPE - NIGHT
Pan across city, hear the sounds of car horns and city traffic. See pedestrians busily making their way to work, school, etc. Focus on a group of school children being led to a bus, presumably on a school trip.
INT. MAN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
A man is sleeping in his bed, on his side, facing away from the window. The window is visible to the audience. Slowly you hear a loud, rhythmic POUNDING sound. The man opens an eye. His apartment begins to shake lightly which each pound, shaking harder as each pound gets louder and louder. The man turns around to face the window. The pounding stops. As the man creeps closer to the window he wonders if it was all a dream. He looks around cautiously.
Just then a giant stripper's head appears in his window.
GIANT STRIPPER
(roaring)
(roaring)
Roar!
MAN
(shouting and clutching at his blanket)
(shouting and clutching at his blanket)
Ahhhhh!
EXT. VACANT BLACK & WHITE CITYSCAPE - NIGHT
The calmness of night is pierced with the screams of children on their way to some weird nighttime field trip. The roar of the Godzilla-sized stripper causes cars to crash into each other. A cab driver throws his meaty arm out of a window and tell off another driver who has cut in front of him in an effor to escape.
NARRATOR
If you demand the best that life has to offer, then come to Gallagher's 2000.
The stripper gyrates her hips, crashing her pelvis into a building, sending tremors throughout the city.
NARRATOR
Very hot. Very sexy.
The stripper lets out a deep, bellowing ROAR. The citizens below run from the scene SCREAMING. It is a scene of utter chaos.
NARRATOR
Gallagher's 2000. Beautiful. Friendly. And unique.
The stripper stands between two skyscrapers and puts a hand on each. With a loud ROAR she pushes on the two skyscrapers until they crack and eventually topple, raining large chunks of debris down on the panicking crowd.
NARRATOR
Gallagher's 2000. World class, sophisticated, adult entertainment that stands above the rest . . .
GODZILLA STRIPPER punches and kicks at other buildings.
NARRATOR (CONT'D)
(sinisterly)
(sinisterly)
. . . and destroys them!
GODZILLA STRIPPER looks into the camera and lets out a SCREECH that pierces your soul.
Chefelf has zero years experience in advertising and even less with video production and editing. That being said, Chefelf offers a complete soup-to-nuts marketing package from concept to production. Contact Chefelf for his hourly rates.
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