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Giant Godzilla Stripper Thursday, August 23, 2007

#1 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 23 August 2007 - 10:59 AM

Giant Godzilla Stripper

As stated in my previous review of the Gallagher's 2000 Space Alien Commercial, I did not have a recording of this commercial . . . UNTIL NOW! Thanks to the miracle of DVR (and Comedy Central's love of airing stip club commercials during every commercial break of The Daily Show, I have been able to capture a moment in Gallagher's 2000 history. The original Godzillaesque dancing woman! Enjoy:



Typically the strip club commercials always always fall into the low-budget-last-commercial-during-the-last-commercial-break-slot on most network breaks. They solely feature sexy women who are acting -- albeit poorly -- like they would enjoy nothing more than to show you a 'good time'.

Gallagher's 2000 laughs at that commercial-making philosophy. Why have an overly made up woman lick her lips and blow a kiss at the camera when they can push strip club commercials into the absurd? Why not have space aliens come to Earth simply to enjoy their lap dances? Why not have a giant Godzilla woman terrorize a fake, vacant cityscape?

My only criticism of this effort is that they didn't play up the Godzilla size nearly enough. Sure they say, "World class sophisticated adult entertainment that stands above the rest." Yuk. Yuk. But they're really missing the boat on what could be a blockbuster commercial that would be much more memorable.

The plus side is that this was their first commercial (that I noticed) and they considerably upped the ante with the alien commercial that followed it. So this trend shows that they're taking their commercials in the right direction.

But here's what I would have done differently with this commercial:

EXT. VACANT BLACK & WHITE CITYSCAPE - NIGHT

Pan across city, hear the sounds of car horns and city traffic. See pedestrians busily making their way to work, school, etc. Focus on a group of school children being led to a bus, presumably on a school trip.


INT. MAN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

A man is sleeping in his bed, on his side, facing away from the window. The window is visible to the audience. Slowly you hear a loud, rhythmic POUNDING sound. The man opens an eye. His apartment begins to shake lightly which each pound, shaking harder as each pound gets louder and louder. The man turns around to face the window. The pounding stops. As the man creeps closer to the window he wonders if it was all a dream. He looks around cautiously.

Just then a giant stripper's head appears in his window.


GIANT STRIPPER
(roaring)

Roar!


MAN
(shouting and clutching at his blanket)

Ahhhhh!


EXT. VACANT BLACK & WHITE CITYSCAPE - NIGHT


The calmness of night is pierced with the screams of children on their way to some weird nighttime field trip. The roar of the Godzilla-sized stripper causes cars to crash into each other. A cab driver throws his meaty arm out of a window and tell off another driver who has cut in front of him in an effor to escape.


NARRATOR

If you demand the best that life has to offer, then come to Gallagher's 2000.

The stripper gyrates her hips, crashing her pelvis into a building, sending tremors throughout the city.

NARRATOR

Very hot. Very sexy.

The stripper lets out a deep, bellowing ROAR. The citizens below run from the scene SCREAMING. It is a scene of utter chaos.

NARRATOR

Gallagher's 2000. Beautiful. Friendly. And unique.

The stripper stands between two skyscrapers and puts a hand on each. With a loud ROAR she pushes on the two skyscrapers until they crack and eventually topple, raining large chunks of debris down on the panicking crowd.

NARRATOR

Gallagher's 2000. World class, sophisticated, adult entertainment that stands above the rest . . .

GODZILLA STRIPPER punches and kicks at other buildings.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)
(sinisterly)

. . . and destroys them!

GODZILLA STRIPPER looks into the camera and lets out a SCREECH that pierces your soul.


Chefelf has zero years experience in advertising and even less with video production and editing. That being said, Chefelf offers a complete soup-to-nuts marketing package from concept to production. Contact Chefelf for his hourly rates.

Get your business noticed with Chefelf Advertising, Inc. The complete advertising package for complete fools success.

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Posted 23 August 2007 - 11:32 AM

Wow. blink.gif

You just... unsure.gif


...made my day. biggrin.gif
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Posted 23 August 2007 - 12:31 PM

Yeah, I laughed out loud, Nately, something I don't do very often over the Interwebs. biggrin.gif It is a very silly commercial, and no offense to the moderately lovely lady, but she doesn't entice me to visit that strip club no matter how tall she is, even were I ever inclined to visit strip clubs, which I am absolutely not.
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Posted 23 August 2007 - 07:37 PM

Your recent fascination with adult entertainment venues have your mother and I a bit concerned. Perhaps we should talk.

On a different note, I agree with Slade. She just didn't do it for me either, and I'm an old guy.
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Posted 23 August 2007 - 09:46 PM

That add was terrible.

You'd think they'd think of something a little better like tying in pole dancing poles with fireman poles and some kind of stripper emergency where all the strippers are sleeping on standby upstairs and have to suddenly react when all these sirens go off, and gear up in tassels and glittery thongs and so forth rushing slowly down the poles... really... stripping adds should just write themselves.

This post has been edited by barend: 23 August 2007 - 09:47 PM

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#6 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 24 August 2007 - 12:54 AM

QUOTE (Cemetery guy @ Aug 23 2007, 08:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Your recent fascination with adult entertainment venues have your mother and I a bit concerned. Perhaps we should talk.


It's not my fault! It's all they play on Comedy Central in my market!

I have a few more commercials that I have to post. Only one more is for a strip club (a different one) but maybe I should hold off on that one for a bit so I don't look too stripper obsessed.
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Posted 24 August 2007 - 01:20 AM

Look obsessed! Look obsessed!
"I had a lot of different ideas. At one point, Luke, Leia and Ben were all going to be little people, and we did screen tests to see if we could do that." -George Lucas, in STAR WARS: the Annotated Screenplays (p197).
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Posted 24 August 2007 - 08:56 AM

Okay, civ. I'll keep the dream alive.

It's not my fault that the strip clubs around here have the most amazing ads! The next one I'm going to put up is rather amazing (and kinda disgusting too -- though not in the way that you would think).
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Posted 24 August 2007 - 02:32 PM

Well, the only thing I hear about strip clubs in my neck of the woods are the shootings that occur in them. sad.gif
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Posted 12 September 2007 - 02:25 AM

Her size is really inconsistent.

I'm going to complain in person if i'm ever out that way...

Even if i have to watch women strip for hours to get the management to notice me.
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Posted 03 October 2007 - 02:48 AM

"even were I ever inclined to visit strip clubs, which I am absolutely not."

If any sentence ever said "My girlfriend has a forum account" it's that one, Slade.

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Posted 04 October 2007 - 05:00 AM

QUOTE (J m HofMarN @ Oct 3 2007, 02:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
"even were I ever inclined to visit strip clubs, which I am absolutely not."

If any sentence ever said "My girlfriend has a forum account" it's that one, Slade.


heheheheheh.... laugh.gif

ahhh. biggrin.gif
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