[Despondent]

I was reading the reasons today and aren't they great?

I love them all but today I really like the one about yoda speak, and watching what you say around him. "Always it is there are no pop-tarts with you." or words to that extent.

great stuff. the reason many of us are here.

oh, you know

[J m HofMarN]

I'm with you dpesondent. "always the poptarts cannot be found" it's easy to tell that this was part of the inspiration for my Yoda conversation:

"Master Yoda, someone just tried to blow up the chancelor"

"Oooh tried did they? Do or do not there is no try"

"Fuck you master Yoda, Fuck you."

[Just your average movie goer]

I've got two that I love particularly from the Episode II list...

Reason #12
"Humor"
When Anakin finally catches up with Obi-Wan he asks Anakin: "What took you so long." Anakin responds with the line: "Oh you know master, I couldn't find a speeder I really liked." It doesn't stop there because he goes on an on and on about how he had a particular color in mind and it didn't have the features he was looking for, etc. The lines are delivered with the comedic flare of Alan Greenspan reading an obituary aloud. Obi-Wan then says: "If you spent as much time practicing your swordplay as you do practicing your wit you would rival Master Yoda as a swordsman." No he wouldn't... he would be a really terrible swordsman. And really embarrassing to watch.

and

Reason #48
Anakin's Predicament
In the conveyor belt sequence Anakin's arm is stamped down into a piece of metal. All the other metal is stamped flat but for some reason Anakin's arm is encased in an Anakin's arm shaped piece of metal instead of being crushed. So now he's trapped. At first I thought that Anakin may end up having to chop his own arm off to escape the situation. I thought how that could be a really great moment and how he could have been the one who begins the disfigurement which will ultimately end up leading him to his signature Darth Vader suit. Then I remembered in the trailer how he duels with two lightsabers so that wouldn't happen. I also remembered that Lucas is a fool. Instead Anakin, after struggling for a minutes to try to work free from the molded metal that is imprisoning his arm just simply pulls his hand free at the last moment with no given explanation.

I just love the way in which they were written - there is a real flair to Chefelf's writing. When I am remembering these two reasons in particular, I always grin from ear to ear and it's hard to suppress laughing out loud in the middle of a public place. Hilarious. Yes, let's give Chefelf his due.

Thanks for all the laughs, Chefelf.

- Movie Goer

This post has been edited by Just your average movie goer: 24 June 2004 - 05:24 AM

[Radu094]

They're all favourites.. but if I have to pick one:

Reason #67
Binoculars
Right before the big battle on Naboo between the Gungans and the Trade Federation there is a Trade Federation droid surveying the battlefield with binoculars. Is this a joke? It's hard to tell in this movie what is done for humor value and what is just unintentionally funny. If this is done for a joke then it is not funny and really unrealistic. If this is done because some dipshit didn't consider the absurdity of it before hand then shame on them!

It doesn't sound like much until you think about it.. I remember reading a comment on this from Doctor X:

"How much to give da droids terescopic vision and individuah radio rinks?"

"2000 credits each."

"Too much. We'll just buy them some binocurars and make them yerr."

They couldn't stop me laughing for an hour

[HK 47]

It's very difficult just to pick one, since Georges heinous crimes against Star Wars assault your senses on so many levels. Anyway, the following always has me laughing insanely, wanting to strangle George. From episode I...

Reason #20
R2-D2's Big Day!
The fact that all of these characters just happen to board a ship with R2-D2 is lamer than lame. The fact that R2-D2 saves the day by fixing the shield connection (Again, why do they line these damn ships with the most important components?) is lame. You know when you have to answer the question: "What was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?" Well my answer is as follows.

In Star Wars: Episode I there is a scene where R2-D2 saves the day. After he saves the day Queen Amidala asks one of her lackeys to read the number off the droid. The man says "R2.. D2, your highness." Then Queen Amidala says and I quote: "Padme, clean this droid up. It deserved our gratitude." I have never been so embarrassed in all my life.

It's true. I gasped in horror as this scene unfolded before my very eyes. I remember slouching down in my seat in the theater, my face must have been glowing red. The words of Joseph Conrad ringing in my head. The horror. The horror.

This post has been edited by HK 47: 24 June 2004 - 08:15 AM

[Just your average movie goer]

You're right... that is so beautiful... and so true.

[Helena]

I think this one is my favourite:

Reason #34.5
Boba Fett Quote
To build on the stupidity of having Boba Fett in this movie I would like to refer to a recent quote from Rick McCallum, one of the producers of this prequel trilogy.

"You get to understand the relentlessness that Boba has," McCallum says. "Here, and especially in 'Episode III,' you’ll understand why he’s so obsessed with destroying any part of the Skywalker family."
What the hell? Has Rick McCallum ever even seen a Star Wars film? Boba Fett isn't obsessed with destroying anything, he's just a bounty hunter. Lucasfilm is so enamored with Boba Fett's ability to sell t-shirts and other merchandise that they've completely forgotten the character's beginnings. Sure he's cool looking and everything but he's just a bounty hunter. He isn't obsessed with destroying the Skywalker family. Where the hell did that come from? I would bet that by the end of The Empire Strikes Back Boba Fett barely even knows who Luke Skywalker is. I don't know who Lucas and his band of lackeys is trying to fool with quotes like this. Boba Fett is being built into this character that he is not. If the unexplainable Boba Fett phenomenon had never occurred then Boba or Jango wouldn't even be in the movie. If IG-88 or Bossk had for some reason become popular then there would probably be a baby version of one of them in Attack of the Clones. Instead of doing things merely to entertain a braindead thirteen year old maybe it would be cooler to make a believable story with substance. Instead Lucas's entire motivation for making movies these days sees to be the pure joy of making doofuses the world over say, "Aw COOL!"

I just love how angry Chefelf sounds here. My favourite line, however, is the one about Alan Greenspan reading an obituary aloud.

Another couple I like:

Reason #52
"It."
After Qui-Gon's first run-in with Darth Maul Obi-Wan ask, "What was it?" Qui-Gon replies, "I think it was after the Queen." It? Darth Maul is clearly a man. I think that if the two Jedi struggled enough they could find a more appropriate pronoun to describe the Sith Lord. Sith Lords are people too! Jeers to the Jedi for this blatant disregard for political correctness.

Reason #7
The Meeting
"Annie? My goodness you've grown." "And you've grown. More beautiful." This sets it in motion. The groans filled the cinema as this scene just refused to die. You would think that the obvious things (i.e. Palpatine's evil, Amidala and Anakin's romance, Anakin becomes Vader) that everyone knows is going to happen wouldhave a little more in the subtlety department. I am reasonably certain that there will be an agonizingly long baby-naming sequence in the next movie where they agree on "Luke" if it's a boy and "Leia" if it's a girl. They will probably even stumble through some of the original names that Lucas had for Luke like "Dirk Starkiller". It doesn't matter how bad an idea you think of for one of these movies, Lucas will come along and make your idea look good by comparison.

[Jordan]

Reason #64
Jonathan Hales
Jonathan Hales co-wrote Attack of the Clones with Lucas. I was very, very, very skeptical about this movie until I heard that Lucas had hired a co-writer. I then became merely very, very skeptical. After seeing the movie I am left with just one questions: What did Jonathan Hales do? This seems exactly like The Phantom Menace. This man is obviously nothing more than a yes man for Lucas. If he were a real co-writer with any sort of power he would surely have argued many points to Lucas. A New Hope was a good movie but what really made it and even Return of the Jedi stand out was the brilliance of The Empire Strikes Back. What made that movie great is that Lucas mapped it out, Lawrence Kasdan wrote it and Irvin Kershner directed it under the supervision of Lucas. That kind of collaboration turned an otherwise ordinary movie into a great movie. The fact that Lucas was naive enough to think that he could do everything himself with the first movie is absurd. After the failure of that movie that he tried again to do everything with no help or suggestions is preposterous! No matter how good Episode III is it is undoubtedly powerless to save the franchise. The final scene of Episode III has long been known to fans as the scene where Anakin puts on the Darth Vader mask for the first time. This sounds like it could potentially be an amazing and powerful scene to conclude this prequel trilogy. Unfortunately it's going to be handled by the one man who could possibly ruin something that conceptually great... George Lucas. 

This was one of my personal favorites, next to this one

Reason #75
Palpatine's Foreshadowing
When they all meet after the battle, Senator Palpatine says: "And you too, young Skywalker. We shall watch your career with great interest." George Lucas has really not mastered the prequel just yet. Someone should sit him down and make him watch Pulp Fiction and Memento so he can get an idea (or perhaps remember) how to make a good film. The thing about foreshadowing is that you shouldn't make it too obvious on the first viewing of a movie. Foreshadowing is extra obvious when you're foreshadowing something that everyone on the planet already knows is going to happen. 

[Jordan]

Ha, take a look at that photo! It's the worst bit of photography I've ever scene.

[Laura]

That little ship can feel the baby kick!

[Commoner]

You can't make me pick one!! They're all gold, and they're all TRUE!!!


I'm starting another thread based on a comment about the 'little ship' on the cover of the magazine.

This post has been edited by Commoner: 24 June 2004 - 09:41 PM

[barend]

well it's not my OFFIZIELLE reason but,

Reason #48
Anakin's Predicament
In the conveyor belt sequence Anakin's arm is stamped down into a piece of metal. All the other metal is stamped flat but for some reason Anakin's arm is encased in an Anakin's arm shaped piece of metal instead of being crushed. So now he's trapped. At first I thought that Anakin may end up having to chop his own arm off to escape the situation. I thought how that could be a really great moment and how he could have been the one who begins the disfigurement which will ultimately end up leading him to his signature Darth Vader suit. Then I remembered in the trailer how he duels with two lightsabers so that wouldn't happen. I also remembered that Lucas is a fool. Instead Anakin, after struggling for a minutes to try to work free from the molded metal that is imprisoning his arm just simply pulls his hand free at the last moment with no given explanation.

in particullar:"Anakin, after struggling for a minutes to try to work free from the molded metal that is imprisoning his arm just simply pulls his hand free at the last moment with no given explanation"

it's like the simpsons man: "Homer, are you just holding on to the cans?"

[Just your average movie goer]

"Homer, are you just holding on to the cans?"

That was great.

[Paladin]

My favorite.

Reason #21
Representative Binks
Apparently the reason that this Galactic Republic has stood for 1,000 years is because of the great rules they have in place. One such rule is that if you don't feel like going to the Senate you can just have your completely unqualified fool of a friend just fill in for you and decide the fate of the entire Galaxy.

Just say the last two lines in a serious tone and you'll know why it's my favorite.

[Radu094]

I know I already posted my favourite, but ..

can I have another? pls,pls,pls....

Reason #25
Bustin' on Artoo
There's this one scene where Padme and Anakin are walking on Naboo and she says she's a little nervous and he confesses to also being nervous since this is his first assignment by himself. "Don't worry," Padme says. "We have Artoo with us." Then they both laugh about how ridiculous a concept it is that Artoo could be at all useful. Artoo beeps and if Threepio were there to translate it would probably be something along the lines of "Fuck you both."

I kinda like R2..