[J m HofMarN]

Damn, I just saw return of the Jedi, the anally raped version. Does anyone other than me have a problem with the amount of boba fett in that movie? I have nothing against the guy but he has no story or characteriza... Oh, that explains why Lucas likes him, he served as the model character for everyone in the prequels. I'm pretty certain there'll be pacing problems in this thing but you underestimate the power of the strobe light effect. The characters a re all the same anyhow and so we won't even be worried about who's hacking who. It'll just be one long dogfight saber duel until suddenly the credits roll and the movie ends.

Yeah, the idea that Yoda gets his ass kicked by Palpatine is something I'm not too sure about either. However I can easily see the Anakin force choking rampage. In fact it really casts new light on why he killed the galactic emperor in the first place.

Palpatine: And now young jedi it is time for you to die [zap]

Vader: [thinking to himself] I wanted to zap Luke to death. Damn it Palpatine never lets me do anything he's been holding me back. And what about that time he wouldnt let me go to Endor to battle Luke? Or when he made me go raid the rebel base? Argh it's tantrum time!!! [toss]

And here's something else that Lucas is going to have to skirt around. Leia has memories of her mother. Luke does not. This is from ROTJ. Who wants to bet me that Lucas won't forget this? I'll take any money that Lucas doesn't bother with this fact and just goes right on making crap up.

[J m HofMarN]

Oh yeah, that Black Knight pun was excellent by the way I was thinking the same thing. Like I said how the hell can Lucas keep the idea of mediclorians if Anakin hardly has any of his original body left. I suppose all the mediclorians just hop back into his body.

[Supes]

Re-edited scene for Empire Strikes Back:

EXT. DAGOBAH SWAMP - BOG - DUSK

Luke is being taken through training exercises by the diminutive Yoda.

YODA
The dark side beckons. But if once start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you it will... as it did Obi-wan's apprentice.

LUKE
Vader... Is the dark side stronger?

YODA
No... From a certain point of view. Count not do I, the time the Emperor handed me my little green ass when finally we met. Fluke it was. The destruction of the Jedi had I on my mind. Concentrate you would not be able too with all those ghosts appearing to you.

Luke looks quizically at Yoda.

YODA
That rock you now will lift. Nothing more will I tell you now. Clear your mind of questions... Quiet now be... at peace...

[Private Zod]

Once again, there is nothing redeeming about Anakin if this is true. Expecially if he is the one responsible for killing Padme. What the fuck?
Die you prick!

I have no clue if this is true or not, hopefully not. There seems to be an awful lot of shit gong on, and Lucas does not want to make this film longer than 2 hours.

[Despondent]

The Good in Vader was the great feeling we saw when our awesome villian appeared onscreen. When we were kids, children would argue over who would be vader. Now that we know his whiney-butt backstory, he's not near as cool. David Prowse ought to kick Hayden's ass for what he's done to the character. then they could join as father and son to kick Lucas'.

I forgot that the Vader character can read minds. So let's presume that he knows what Shmi and Qui-Gon were discussing. Darn right he's the best. And Watto was holding him back too. Next time we return to Tatooine (sigh) maybe he could give watto the sandpeople treatment. (Further Explanation: I'm sure the Tuscan Raiders were holding him back, also)

So yeah, he's p.o.'d at everyone. And the fact that he can read the Emporer's mind explains their lack of scenes together. I'm sure those scenes will make it onto the amended DVD's. (Which we'd never learn about without outside sources )

[Private Zod]

I'll admit, I do not think that summary is 100% accurate:

Why? Lucas has fucked up alot of things in the prequesl so far, however, I cannot believe he will make ANakin:

1. Solely responsible for Padme's death
and
2. Kill a group of jedi children.

There will be absolutley no possible way that there could be any good from Anakin if this is to happen. He is pure evil from beginning to end. Why would you give a fuck is he is redeemed by ROTJ, nothing he had done in his entire life up until then would give you any indication that he had any trace of good in him.

I am getting to the point where I am going to have to tel my future children that Lucas only made 3 Star Wars films, the new trilogy never existed.

[barend]

It's Vader we're supposed to hate, not Anakin. Like you said, his redemption makes no sense whatsoever unless he was actually a likeable character in the first place - which he isn't. Anakin was supposed to be a good but flawed character who finally gave in to his 'darker side' - but judging by his behaviour in Episode II and the plot summary for Ep III (if it's correct), he's an immature, emotionally illiterate psychopath.

yep... Anikan should have been alot more like Boromir, and alot less like Gollum!

[CowboyCurtis]

yep... Anikan should have been alot more like Boromir, and alot less like Gollum!

Spot on, Barend! Again, evidence that if Lucas is going to steal from a source, he might as well do it right!

Amazingly, he actually comes across as MORE sympathetic as Darth Vader in RotJ

Damn straight, Helena! Evidence again that Lucas is being inconsistent with his characters. How many times can I say what a shame and what a waste the prequels are!

This post has been edited by CowboyCurtis: 30 May 2004 - 10:11 PM

[J m HofMarN]

I dig that anology, I can see it now, in fact it works even better with the mention of the lava scene!

-The scene opens as Anakin fights Obi Wan above a pit of lava that I'm sure Lucas will title Dount Moom-

Anakin: You has the mediclorians and we wants them back!

Obi Wan: What are you talking about you crazy little bastard?

Anakin: -suddenly deciding to have some spoken monlogue- Master Obi Wan is our friend!

Anakin: You don't have any friends, nobody likes you but some guy you were never even introduced to.

Anakin: Go away!

Anakin: Not until you take the precious mediclorians from him! He'll hold you back precious, hold you back he will!

Anakin: Oh alright!

Anakin: HEHEHEHEHEHE

Obi Wan: Are you quite done yet? How you became a jedi knight I don't know, there weren't any sith around for you to kill like I did.

Anakin: Wicked tricksy false master! I'll take your mediclorians, then I be the master! -Bites off Obi Wan's finger, sucking out his mediclorians and then dancing like an idiot til he falls in the lava and loses all his limbs-

[J m HofMarN]

And there's a really good point that noone addresses enough, how the hell did they not get Shmi back from Watto? I mean Anakin became a jedi and then he forgot about every other human being in the galaxy? He never visited Padme for some reason and he let his mother rot in slavery? Anakin leaves his mother and C3PO to die, then the only time he spends any time with his girlfriend is to get in her pants and then run off on some foll non-idealistic crucade. And yet we're supposed to believe that in Ep6 he's going to give up the chance to rule the universe for a son he's never even met who was birthed by a woman who he had sex with once and made creepy come-ons to? What the hell?

And not seeing Padme is acceptable being as the Jedi don't really encourage such relationships. However I will now address all of the reasons why Shmi should have been freed either late in ep1 or early in ep2.

Firstly Obi Wan is no father. The only way he even got to be a jedi was cutting some red painted jerk ass in half. And yet we are supposed to believe that Obi Wan, was able to take time out of his days of battling sith lords and trade federations and non-sensical idealist seperatists to raise Anakin? From a purely functional point of view it would have been best for Obi Wan to snatch up Shmi and tell her to take care of Anakin.

Next there is the fact that Anakin would likely miss his mother. Granted the character portrayed in ep1 would probably be rather busy piloting various silly craft and yelling yippiee a lot but a real human being would have made some sort of statement of longing for the one who brought them into the world. Maybe I'm wrong though, Maybe Anakin was raised by his father. Maybe mediclorians bathed him and made sure he ate his greens and got to bed on time. Yes, certainly it was the mediclorians.

Also there is the fact that Shmi, despite how she was portrayed in ep1, would have wondered about her only child, ESPECIALLY once she was freed. I don't care how little power the republic has on Tatooine they could still have found some way to free her. Here's what any being on earth would have done as soon as they were given a lightsaber.

Anyone: Hello Watto, you have my mother and I want her. I will pay you.
Watto: Though I would normally accept payment for the purposes of proving this point I will not accept your payment.
Anyone: Than look at my lightsaber. Observe, it can cut through this leather work boot with ease and even filet a tomatoe.
Watto: Right, one mother coming right up.

But apparently the council would have frowned on someone liberating another being from slavery, or maybe Obi Wan held him back from it. Sure that's acceptable, Obi Wan held him back and that would explain why he's so vengeful and angry with the jedi in general.... EXCEPT THAT THIS NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED! You see Lucas? You could have made your whole movie make sense if you thought about it and if you turned Obi Wan into a jerk. But no, We never gather that Obi Wan kept Anakin from going to save Shmi.

Also there's the fact that Shmi gained her freedom and then, upon doing so, never bothered to look for her son, who she must have heard of being as he was an intergalactic hero or something. And even if Shmi didnt want to see her son for some reason wouldn't Watto have made a connection between Anakin's newfound fame and possible financial gain?

And another thing, why did Shmi just hand Anakin over to a bunch of strange aliens? When you think about it she might have done the same for anyone. I'm starting to wonder about Shmi's mental state and her fitness to raise a child.

Anakin: I put some bantha poodoo in my shoes and jumped up and down like you told me to mom.

Shmi: Good boy. Now help me write some crazy leaflets to distribute around the planet.

Anakin: What are you writing leaflets about mom, all the other kids make fun of me because you're insane, even little Greedo...

Shmi: Nonsense, they're the ones who are crazy! I'm writing leaflets about why a bunch of star systems and trade federations should randomly secede from the republic!

Anakin: That dosn't even make sense...

Darth Maul: Hello Missus Skywalker, I have crash landed on this planet and was hoping your son could help me.

Shmi: Huh, oh sure he can help you, he was meant to help you. Anakin go with the nice man.

Anakin: But mom he has horns...

Shmi: Go with him or I'll make you oil the rancor again!

Anakin: Eep!

Darth Maul: That's right kid, come to Darthy KWAHAHAHAHA!

Shmi: Have fun!

[barend]

Obi wan never met Shmi! so he probable just assumed she would just be an annoying older female version of Annie...

who'd take on that baggage?