[Just your average movie goer]

New thought -

I heard another lame cover today. This one was a cover of Blondie's "The Tide is High". The only difference between this and the original (apart from the fact that Deborah Harry has a much better voice) is that they took out the nice 'island' music and replaced it with a drum machine beat... and added their own crappy tune in the middle of the song. I've had enough!

It is time we introduced laws regarding the covering of songs for recording purposes -

The Law regarding the covering of songs for recording purposes.

Articles

1. A good song, performed well, may not be covered outside of a live performance.

2. A bad song, regardless of how well it was performed, may not be covered ever.

3. A good song, that could have been performed better, may be covered. And it is the only type of song that can be.

4. A cover must sound sufficiently different from the original version to warrant the effort of covering it.

5. A cover must be an improvement over the original.


Penalties:

1. If an "artist" covers a good song and ruins it, they shall be fined. If the offence is particularly tasteless, such as Madonna killing American Pie, the so-called "artist" shall face imprisonment.

2. If an "artist" covers a bad song and brings it back from the past where it had been happily forgotten, they shall face imprisonment.



Lastly, if a musician cannot write original music, then I respectfully suggest that they just stick to being a live band only.

Thank you.

- Movie Goer

This post has been edited by Just your average movie goer: 29 July 2004 - 01:02 AM

[Heccubus]

You've obviously never heard Children of Bodom covering Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell". Both versions rock.

[Just your average movie goer]

Okay, fair enough... I can remove article 1:

A good song, performed well, may not be covered outside of a live performance.

[SimeSublime]

My favourite cover would have to be Tripod's take on Sweet Caroline, although you really have to see them sing it live to fully appreciate it, as exp​ression is quite important.

[barend]

replace article 1 with: stay the fuck away from Bowie (previous exceptions: Bahaus, Beck) especially RNB covers. In fact no RNB covers of cool 80s songs, or club techno dance versions of any 80s songs.

also

article 6. don't cover songs less than 10 years old unless you are weird al yankovik, or at least aspiring to be W.A.Y. or your a really evil sounding band covering an RNB band for a laugh.

article 7. tribute album compilations should only be of a band that has split up (or should of split up after Ozzy Ozzborne or David Lee Roth left), unless that band has been around for more than 20 years.
note: nine inch nails had 3 tribute albums to them before they had 3 albums. point being: # of TA should always be < the # of A.

[barend]

additional... I am really spun out by your rules JYAMG. I have been preaching them for years almost exactly as they are written there
.


i guess i'm not alone.

[Just your average movie goer]

I like yours too, Barend - especially the one about staying the fuck away from Bowie. I'd like to add stay the fuck away from Led Zeppelin as well...

I'm not sure who it was (I think maybe Puff Daddy) but someone murdered Kashmir in most terrible style - rapping to it, if I remember correctly... that is a heinous crime.

Thank you for the support. I'm glad I'm not alone either.

[Heccubus]

The thing about Puff Daddy using "Kashmir" was that he didn't sample it. Jimmy Page re-recorded it in-studio with him and a band. So blame Page. I guess he'd had enough of butchering African American blues, and wanted to move onto butchering his own music.

[Just your average movie goer]

Page? PAGE???????? TRAITOR!!!!!!!!!



This may require a special set of laws all on its own.... :angry:

This post has been edited by Just your average movie goer: 29 July 2004 - 12:02 PM

[Heccubus]

I'd suggest a good listening of "I Hate Jimmy Page" by Mindless Self Indulgence. It helps you laugh off his many foibles.

[Just your average movie goer]

Thanks. I will keep my eye out for it.

[barend]

but that whores cover of Ashes to ashes is the biggest attrocity!!!

body to body
funk to funky
you know you've got to move your body

form the great:
ashes to ashes
funk to funky
we know major tom's a junky

dumb bitch!

[Just your average movie goer]

Oh, THAT!!!!!!!!!! I remember now. :angry:

I think that cover calls for a fatal beating - a slow fatal beating.

[Chyld]

I don't think there should be laws against dodgy covers. Each cover should be evaluated along the guidelines mentioned, then a crack team of assasains should kill anyone and everyone involved in a cover labelled "bad". Works for me. We'll start with Alien Ant Farm...

[Just your average movie goer]

That could work as well. I am open to suggestions.

But something needs to be done about bad covers - and I think we all agree.