[J m HofMarN]

The entire plot is based solely on deus ex machinus, and the fact that hte first part of the movie focuses on cute british children is just crap. Ok, British kids are super in fantasy films, but we already explored that avenue with Harry Potter and Narnia. And both of those stories are better written than this drech. I already pointed out the main problem with the plot, and the fact that the author both ripped off the Star Wars twist revelation and had one of his characters as a disinherited prince avenging his father just suggests some kind of brain damage, or too much gin. What did the rest of you guys think?

Oh and did I mention that the bad guys retarded plan is one of the most needlessly complicated and silly I've ever seen? Also, their doomsday kid/animal slicing machine is made of flimsy chicken wire.

This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 17 June 2008 - 09:06 PM

[barend]

Shit. I Was David Jones getting a mothers day present when I saw this playing on the screens in the DVD department which is next to the Nice Smelling Soap and Stuff that Chicks and Moms Love Department.

TWo bears and metal barding were fighting each other.

Why the crap did none of you bastardos think to tell me this movie had bears fighting each other in it? HUH?!? I mean, I actually would have gone and seen it, had I known this.

Let's please do not keep such secrets from each other in the future.

THankyou.

[TruJade]

Barend. . ..

I sincerly apologize for the oversight
especially since the bear fight is EASILY
the best part of the movie

[J m HofMarN]

The bears fight and kill eachother, but there is no blood despite them BITING THE FUCK out of eachother. Deus Ex Machinus is literally the only driving force in the plot, and the bear fight is lame because its been done so many times. Also, the kid keeps calling the bear by his dorky full name. Please Barend, don't be lured in by the possibility that a bear will meet his end.

And in another big let down, we get a glimpse of a herd of witches migrating across the plains in the early movie, and then later they show up to kick ass and take names...... or so I thought. Some movies with magic like to show their witches and wizards firing lightening bolts, fireballs, using necromancy, or displaying wisdom and power without necessarily having to resort to magic.

Not Golden Compass, good heavens no! Their witches just fly around and shoot bows and arrows. That's it.

[TruJade]

LOL
I totally didnt even think about the lack of blood
they wear armour so i just thought
bears + thick hides + armour = no blood

How silly of me

yeah the witches were piontless and stupid
plus i hate Eva Green
WORST BOND GIRL EVER!!!!!!!!!

[barend]

The bears fight and kill eachother, but there is no blood despite them BITING THE FUCK out of eachother. Deus Ex Machinus is literally the only driving force in the plot, and the bear fight is lame because its been done so many times. Also, the kid keeps calling the bear by his dorky full name. Please Barend, don't be lured in by the possibility that a bear will meet his end.

Really?


REALLY?


WHERE!!! is there some BEARS FIGHTING EACH OTHER IN THIS MOVIE section at teh video store I've been missing?

Name 10 movies in which bears fight each other so I can go hire them right now!

[J m HofMarN]

I didnt mean with bears, I meant the general plot line. If you want to see a lion doing the same thing, Lion King. If you want to see another young upstart prince who kills the man who took his father's throne, watch , fuck, any fantasy movie ever or Hamlet.

This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 08 July 2008 - 12:57 AM

[Otal Nimrodi]

I don't think he meant the plot elements, or the significance.

I think he meant bears. Fighting. Awesome.

[civilian_number_two]

I haven't seen this movie yet but I read the books and they are pretty good. I think the ultimate resolution of the last one was a small letdown, in terms of narrative interest as well as in terms of a disservice to the overall philosophy of the series, but then maybe I am just not on the same wavelength as the author. From what I understand the movie nerfs the general tone and completely removes a tragic event from the ending, to make it more kid-friendly. In that case, wtf? Is this something someone adapted because they liked the book, or is it just a corporate response to the NARNIA movies? I strongly suspect the latter.

The second book is the most important in the series. It introduces two characters who will ultimately carry the story. It has almost no bears.

This post has been edited by civilian_number_two: 08 July 2008 - 04:12 PM

[J m HofMarN]

there IS no ending to the movie. They escape from the silly arctic evil day care and then the girl says "wow we're going to kick some butt! wwweeeeee!" and the movie goes off. it doesnt end in the traditional sense. I have to believe the book was better, because otherwise it would have to be pretty wretched.

Yeah for the first ten minutes of cute British kids being British, I was doing my David Spade "I liked this movie better the first time I saw it, when it was called Narnia." It did seem to spend a RIDICULOUS amount of time setting up the sequel though, which bothers me because that's a sequel that I'll eat my hat if they ever make. This movie can't stand on it's own, it doesn't deserve a sequel. It ends on a cliff hanger that isn't at all suspenseful because none of the many characters we've met are worth caring about, even Sam Elliott or Sam Eliott's Moustache.

[barend]

Yeah, screw your precious plots... I'm all about the bear fights.


Apparently, The Hobbit is going to be 2 films. 1 based on the book, and one to fill the gap between it and LOTR.

But if it's three hours of Beorn kicking ass in bear form it should be totally worth it.

This post has been edited by barend: 10 July 2008 - 09:50 PM

[J m HofMarN]

Fucking hell god damn iT. does this mean theres going to be a new LOTR edition thats more encompassing than the one I have?

[civilian_number_two]

I doubt they're release them collectively, and certainly not in any new form. The stores are already glutted with unsold copies of the LOTR films.

[J m HofMarN]

You're right, forgive me. I seemed to have the LOTR people confused with George Lucas for a moment.

[barend]

Stephen Ure told me there was talk of an R rated edition of the LOTR trilogy. Apprently they filmed many a bloody scene with much flying blood (which is the general R maker) that were removed to get a more friendly rating. There's also heaps that didn't make it in. Stuff in the Last Alliance battle, Orcs chasing the fellowship into the woods after Gandalf goes down, Ure even played an orc who was Sarumans main dude in orchistrating the Uruk production who whips the shit out of them and eventualy gets strangled with his own whip or something, etc. and that's just the first film. This wouldn't be like Lucas though... Who adds stuff in and leaves out awsome stuff...

Probably be put back in for a 25th aniversary thing in like 2026. Something to look forward to on my 50th birthday I guess...