[Toru-chan]

A drunken man wearing a black garbage bag yelled "Darth Vader" while jumping over a garden wall before allegedly attacking the two founders of the first Jedi Church in the UK with a metal crutch.

Arwel Wynne Jones is accused of assaulting Barney and Michael Jones while they were being interviewed for a TV documentary about their love of the Star Wars films.

Hughes allegedly hit Barney Jones in the head, laughed, and then hit Michael Jones in the thigh. Police identified Hughes after viewing footage of the incident from a Channel 4 cameraman.

Quoted in the North Wales Chronicle, Barney Jones said: "Myself and my cousin were doing some filming for a documentary on the Jedi Church, when we were attacked. Someone jumped over our front garden wall wearing a black bin bag cape and said he was Darth Vader, before hitting us with a crutch."

http://www.brisbanet...8743121390.html

I can see it now:

"Your Honour, we wish to plead enter a plea of diminished responsibility due to Insanity!"
"The accused wants to plead Insanity?"
"No sir, the plaintiffs"

[J m HofMarN]

Wow. Those are some pretty shite Jedi. Now this guy SHOULD have jumped over the starwars kid's fence. And I should have filmed it.

[TruJade]

THE FIRST JEDI CHURCH!!

No one who actually follows a specific religion would convert to Jedi-ism
at least seriously anyways

those two must be the only members
in that case, they'd be Sith

This post has been edited by TruJade: 25 April 2008 - 03:02 AM

[civilian_number_two]

I predict a schism in the near future. The Second Jedi church is not far behind. Always two, there are. And the second, bingo will have.

[J m HofMarN]

I wonder what they'll split over. It surely wont be the prohibition on sex, because no one who attends Jedi church need ever worry about that...

Maybe there will be some who feel they should follow the Old Testament of Lucas word for word, and some who feel that the New Testament is the true Word of Lucas.

[civilian_number_two]

I predict a controversy over the virgin birth. Do we revere Shmi or not?

[Toru-chan]

Do we revere Shmi or not?

How could you revere someone with a name like 'Shmi'?

There has already been a split in Starwarsology. We here at Chefelf do not revere George Lucas as a infallible deity. That makes us like Lutherans, except there's no one we actually want to see dead.

The Fanboys do revere George Lucas as a infallible deity. That makes them like Catholics, except for as my esteemed colleague pointed out Catholics are supposed to procreate and the sexless fanboys have no chance of that.

[J m HofMarN]

Holy shit I want to see what they do for hymns.

"LALALALALA LIFE DAY IS A TIME FOR LALALALALA"

[civilian_number_two]

I don't think the schism will involve folks who are not Lucas fanboys. Folks who are not Lucas fanboys would never join a church of Jedi to begin with.

[Deucaon]

The war between the Jedi and the Sith has reached Earth.

[cue star wars opening theme and introduction]

The fate of the world rests on the shoulders of two dysfunctional Jedi as they fight off a Sith drunkard...

[barend]

So sad...

What a couple of pussies. Sounds like this drunk guy was just having fun with them, and thier lack of jedi skills resulted in a bruise on a leg and a headache.

Some jedi indeed.

[J m HofMarN]

But to react would have been against the code, and possibly gained dark side points. As he was just a harmless drunk the thing to do would have been to ask him to go home and rethink his life, for which they'd gain light side points. Remember, there is no emotion: there is peace.

[civilian_number_two]

NO! They should have offered to buy him a drink and then cut his arm off!

You are all wrong! I declare a schism in our non-Jedi cult!

[Toru-chan]

You are all wrong! I declare a schism in our non-Jedi cult!

Father, is that you?

Anyhoo... we already had that months ago in the Great Forum Reunification Wars. Poor Bond fled, scared and badly wounded he's now more machine than George Lazenby. His one-liners may have merely been flippant when he left, but when he returns he will have crafted one-liners that can kill. Bond waits. Bond watches. One day he will come back. Fear that day.

Typing that I just realized I'm a much better writer than George Lucas.

For that matter, the entire Drunken Welshman in a garbage bag attacks two wankers is a far more compelling story than anything George Lucas has come up with since 1980.

This post has been edited by Toru-chan: 28 April 2008 - 04:09 AM

[TruJade]

LOL so thats what happened to Bond

I support Civ in his crusade
schisms all around!

There can be the Jedi Loyalists, who believe in the Lucas way
Whereas the Separatists have different interpretations

And a third group, The Undecided
Those who see points on both sides

Let the war begin!

This post has been edited by TruJade: 29 April 2008 - 06:35 PM