Posted 05 July 2007 - 03:27 AM
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(my review is sooooo big,..it is in 3 posts!)
ok, i have just got back from seeing transformers, and i have a lot to say about this film.
overall, i feel the film was quite good. it exceeded my expectations, but not by too much.
i will admit that i had already knew a lot about the storyline, even before going in to see the film. there were a few surprises here and there
a little about me:
i am a child of the 1980's, and grew up and practically worshipped transformers. i had a lot of the toys, watched the cartoons, saw the 1986 movie in theatre, and i pretty know a lot about the transformers universe and mythos. especially generation one.
now, in all fairness, it has been 21 years since the animated film debuted in theatres, and with that being said, i am willing to accept changes here and there.
my first complaint, is sort of a complaint, but not so much. i felt that the storyline had waaay too much human involvement and lacked in developing a lot of the autobot and decepticon characters in the film. i understand that the purpose of the excessive human interaction is that this is a mainstream film, meant to attract and entertain a mainstream audience while still apeasing to the hardcore fans as well.
there was also too much slapstick puns and humor involved with the film. which i am okay with there being humor in this sort of mainstream approach that the film takes, as it helps those unaccustomed to the transformers mythos be somewhat more at ease in trying to learn about it. so, its cool..but they didnt need to have as much humor as they did.
there are parts of the film that move excessively fast, and parts that simply drag on forever. as the film starts out,.for what seems like the first 45 minutes,..there is this slooowww and rather awkward process of the film slowly revealing one transformer character at a time. like, it was too expensive for the graphics department to put more than one transformer on the screen at any given time. so, we see bumblebee,..scorponok,.rumble,..etc etc etc.
there is also waaaay too much product placement in this film as well. its pretty obvious that the film is already a product plug for the 2008 chevy camaro. but closer revelation also shows burger king, gpx electronics, ebay, and porsche also with ads as well. in fact, the word ebay is referenced about 20 damn times in the film. i think i recall even optimus prime versing the word "ebay". i cringed in my seat. i mean,..i hate when films reference too many things of the current hey-day, because when films do this, the film can show considerably age when/if certain things like ebay arent around, say 20 years from now. it would be like if in the 1986 film, john moschitta reference galoob's micro machines...younger kids have no idea what micro machines are, and even moreso wouldnt know that john moschitta did tv ads for micro machines.
the film starts out beautifully, you hear the voice of peter cullen reprising optimus prime as he does an opening prelude introduction, and if youre a huge transformers fan like myself..its like hearing the voice of a long lost friend that was presumed to be dead. i was in awe,..its optimus prime!!!...optimus prime!!...peter cullen!! wow!...i loved it.
but speaking of peter cullen, as many transformers fans already know, back in the 1980's he did the voice of both optimus prime and ironhide. well, optimus prime and ironhide are both in the new film as well,..but cullen doesnt voice ironhide...he is voiced by josh harnell. why couldnt cullen reprise his role of ironhide as well? what was up with that?
anthony andersen...omg...what a sore embarrassment. he ruined the film in all the parts he was in, i wish he wasnt in the film. the only purpose he served was his small part as some whiz tech kid that can decipher advanced decepticon technology on his home computer. so what? big deal. the real reason that he is even in the film, he that he is an untalented actor out of work that was somehow granted the blessing of spielberg to be cast for a role in the film. he was also the nasty drive-thru chef at a competitor fast food restaurant in the film "harry and kumar go to white castle".
as i said before, the film drags on too long on certain scenes and moves too fast on others. if i could take a wax crayon and draw a straight line to seperate this all into two categories,.you would have scenes with human actors that take too long,.and scenes with the transformers that are too brief. there is very short scenes with certain transformer characters.,.namely the decepticons. we see no character development from devastator, bonecrusher, blackout, starscream, ...heck starscream is only shown in robot form in like one short 20 second scene in the whole damn film...what the fudge?!??
dont get me started on rumble. first off, how in the world are you going to feature rumble prominently in this film, and not have soundwave in the picture at all? how? thats impossible. its damn absurd! soundwave should have been in this movie, and should there be a sequel (and trust me, i can already smell one brewing) soundwave needs to be in it. but back to rumble,. if there is one character i just totally disagreed with the entire time in the movie,.it was rumble. he looks ridiculous!!,.like 13 sets of stainless steel swiss army knives all welded together,..and to top it all off he transforms into a cheapass GPX boombox. yeah,..you heard me right...not sony..not panasonic,.not bose,..GPX..walmart discount rack GPX. what a shame.
I couldnt even understand anything rumble was saying..he looked a lot like the cousin of Johnny Five from short circuit. Give me the 1980's rumble, complete with raspy new jersey accent.
Optimus prime is trailerless. i dont know if i agree with that move or not. granted, in the cartoon, they always made his trailer roll away and disappear off into the horizon. so, i guess they reviewed this prior to making the 2007 film, and decided to discard the trailer, and the new toy by hasbro followed suit. but damn, i sure miss roller,...sob.
i really dont understand what reasons frank welker declined to do the reprise the role of megatron. granted it, welker is now 61 years old,..but like cullen, the man is a damn talented vocal actor, and im very sure that he would have done an amazing job reprising as megatron. this is not to say that hugo weaving did not do a good job, in fact, i was somewhat impressed with weavings work in the film. but from a fan perspective, it would have been awesome to see welker reprise his vocal role alongside with cullen...you couldnt beat that...total sheer awesome.
in the course of the film, it is learned that the autobots learned how to speak english from the world wide web. okay,.im willing to accept this theory,..given what they are trying to tell us here, is that, the autobots acquired a vast wealth of overall knowledge about human society from the internet. this theory seems to work in the film so far,..until its thoroughly shot down hard by ratchet, who is in robot mode stumbling around awkwardly in the witwicky backyard and falls into a high voltage powerline, thus knocking out power in the whole neighborhood.
gee, ratchet...didnt you read the webpage regarding earth electricity? you seemed to pick up on english very good, but you know nothing about powerlines. some scriptwriter goofed, if you ask me.
bumblebee cant talk for the majority of the whole film, until the very end. during the majority of the film he communicates through his radio. this is reminiscent of the way wreck-gar spoke in the 1986 film, speaking short phrases from television. bumblebee is doing the same damn thing, but with radio stations instead. what a clever re-hash. ...im not done. ...bumblebee, who is an advanced alien robot possess high technology, so advanced that he can scan a speeding 2008 camaro and transform from a late 70's camaro into a 2008 model, can not seem to find a way to fix his vocal cords. then, somehow,..without sheer explanation...towards the very end of the film..bumblebee found some sort of way to talk again. gee,..maybe during the heat of the hectic street combat in downtown los angeles,..ratchet found some spare time to repair bumblebee's vocal chords. yes, thats what had to have happened. because, if you remember in the cartoon..ratchet never engaged in battle,..he always stayed inside the ark and babysat teletran 1 (yes folks, i am being sarcastic)
part two. review (continued)
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there is too many sexuality references in this film,so much, it garnered a pg-13 rating. wow. lets rememeber that this summer blockbuster comes complete with a huge marketing campaign. everything from general motors vehicles to toys, video games, and childrens bedsheets. ...oh wait,.did i just reference children? i did, didnt I?...well, its because many children will be seeing this film as well. what a shame. these children will all get to view the scenes where sam witwicky is accused of masterbating inside his bedroom by his parents,..when an autobot's sensors indicates that sam witwicky's hormones are raging for megan fox...the scene with sam in his drawers...seems like there were some other sexuality references as well, that i cant think of at this time. lets not forget that bumblebee has a decal hanging in his windshield that says "bee-otch"...nice one spielberg!. i can see legions of children asking their parents..."mom..what is masterbating?...dad, what are hormones??"
i was actually impressed with some of the new transfomers., namely barricade. he kicked ass. i dont understand why devastator is no longer comprised of 6 construction vehicles, and he is now a battle tank. or even more confusing...how bonecrusher,.who used to be a part of devastator,.as he was once a constructicon,.is now apartheid from devastator,.and functions without devastator.
in this 2007 film, we see devastator in both tank and robot mode. what is not known, is if this new devastator is also comprised of the 5 remaining components: (mixmaster, long haul, hook, scrapper, and scavenger), and can bond with the new bonecrusher to form an even bigger devastator..or if they are trying to re-invent devastator , and simply tell us that he is just one guy now. but even going from that standpoint...if youre trying to follow everything to conclusion,.how and where in the transformers universe and mythos does this fit into place?,..of course assuming that this new film is canonical to the rest of the franchise. did devastator retain his same decepticion personality component from cybertron?, or was the original devastator somehow destroyed and replaced with a new devastator complete with brand new personality component from cybertron?
im sure im totally confusing the average mainstream joe, but for you hardcore fans, you know where am i coming from on this.
the new film pays homages to the 1986 film. in both films prime states "one shall stand..one shall fall". which, to my knowledge, is the only sole line from the new film that mirrors the old film. however, the new film borrows key aspects from the 1986 film. the 1986 animated film, the decepticons were seeking the matrix, in this new film..they are after the allspark. in the 1986 film, optimus prime dies,.in the new film..megatron dies. kind of a reversal, but in the same aspect, it apologizes to the fans for killing off prime in the 1986 film, as it hurt many to see that.
i dont agree with certain scenes, that show some of the transformers easily mutilated, decapitated, etc. i dont think its that easy to decapitate a transformer, even by another transformer. in fact, only two times seem to come to my mind that ever showed a transformer being decapitated. in the 1986 film, unicron's head is seeing floating about in space (although not a true act of decapitation), but aside from that,..in the cartoon episode "prime target", optimus prime's body is disassemble by the constructicons and megatron is seen holding prime's head in his hand.
in the film, its revealed that optimus prime and megatron are brothers. if what is being said is true, then this story of brotherhood dates back some 9 million years ago, as explained in the cartoon episode "war dawn". in this episode, it shows cybertron during the golden age, optimus prime was formerly a cybertronian factory worker called orion pax, and had a girlfriend named ariel, and a friend named dion. this is the first time ever, in transfomers mythos, that megatron and optimus prime have ever met. its the intial meeting. basically, megatron injures orion pax, and is rescued by the aerialbots and taken to alpha trion's workshop for immediate repairs. alpha tron then reconstructs a new body for orion pax, and thus optimus prime is born.
now, its known that the quintessons created the transformers, and that vector sigma gave life to all transformers. so if the new film implies that the megs and op are bros, then this was held as top secret by vector sigma and the quintessons for a very very long time. wow.
i just hope the sequel reveals some insight onto this revelation of brotherhood. inquiring transformer fans want to know.
part three..review (continued)
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conclusion and summary:
so, all in all, the film was great. it was awesome from a mainstream point of view. from a fan point of view, its quite endearing to hear cullen reprise his vocal role as prime. but, it leaves a huge chunk out as far as storyline development is concerned. many questions still left unanswered, and a big cliffhanger ending, especially as megatron is dumped deep into the ocean. (hmmm? maybe this is how the decepticons developed and built that wicked undersea headquarters base in the cartoon?)
i would love to see combiners in the next film..you know..menasor, computron, defensor, bruticus, etc.
i would also like to see more character development with the transformers in the sequel, and a lot less with the humans. lets also see some more vintage transformers brought into the next film as well, namely, soundwave, ravage, laserbeak, prowl, hound (yeah...holograms...cool)..mirage (invisibilty is sweet too), ultra magnus and hot rod ( why not?, they were cool as hell)...and to liven things up,..omega supreme...(ohhh yeah,..talk about a huge robot),..heck,.go ahead and feature fortress maximus,.the biggest autobot of them all!
i was sad to see that this film didnt pay dedication or homages to now deceased: scatman crothers (jazz), chris latta (starscream), and don messick (ratchet). it would have made perfect sense, since all three of these characters were featured in the new film, and all three are deceased.
im sure chris latta would have turned in his grave, if he knew just how small of a role starscream has in the new film.
i almost forgot..whatever happened to scorponok? we see him in white sands, new mexico,..errr,..qatar at last count. but he decided not to attend the huge robot bashing party on the other side of the globe in los angeles?
why did the sole transformer not rejoin with his decepticon comrades, to take on the autobots?
QUOTE (njamilla @ Feb 23 2008, 08:16 AM)
Shit, Fuck, Piss: I had to say that because I can on this website. (Thanks Chef!)
QUOTE (chefelf @ Feb 23 2008, 10:30 AM)
That's what I'm here for.