[barend]

Operation removes lightbulb from anus
Thu Jun 29, 7:34 AM ET

MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.

Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.

"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.

"We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

"When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said.

"I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."

The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon's story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.

article

thanks to spoon poetic for the inlightening story

...now that's what i call MOONSHINING!!!

[Chyld]

There's nothing more to say: OWIES

[J m HofMarN]

Something tells me he put it in there himself and got it stuck.

Also, I don't think they train doctors well enough anymore. Every story in this section that involves doctors usually involves the phrase "I've never seen this before" What the fuck do these guys go to medical school for if not to learn about removing light bulbs from Pakistani moonshiners anuses? I mean, really!

This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 30 June 2006 - 02:26 AM

[Cobnat]

How can someone just wake up with a lightbulb up thier ass?

[Emu]

yeah, how exactly do you sleep through that?

[Deepsycher]

If someone did that they might have organised for the lightbulb to be smashed during an assult which obviously failed to happen on time. I can see that as a method of blackmailing if there was an additional purpose.

If he did it maybe he wanted attention but now in too much pain and too miserable to state his campaign unless he wanted to be moved to another prison.

[J m HofMarN]

I think a ninja could do it, but then again ninja can do most anything.

"NINJA SKILL! PAINTED DRAGON STYLE SNEAKS LIGHTBULB IN ASS!"

"OH NO! I AM DEFEATED! PRONG FISH ATTACK WILL BE FINAL VENGEANCE! WHEN YOU SLEEP THIS NIGHT RASPBERRIES WILL BE IN YOUR NOSTRILS!"

Also, Dee, I think it's possible that, barring the proving of any Pakistani ninja involvement, he might have just put the lightbulb in his own ass. If you ask why I'm going to flee in terror and take everyone else with me.

[Cobnat]

yeah, how exactly do you sleep through that?

If someone did that they might have organised for the lightbulb to be smashed during an assult which obviously failed to happen on time. I can see that as a method of blackmailing if there was an additional purpose.
If he did it maybe he wanted attention but now in too much pain and too miserable to state his campaign unless he wanted to be moved to another prison.

Which brings me to my next point:

How big is the average anus?

[Deepsycher]

Well I already thought of some reasons why. According to them it got in there. Good point that must have been a struggle. For fat people they say their mouths are bigger than their bums and in this case it could be the opposite way round for him.

The involvement of tools or oil I think is a possibility for inserting the bulb.

How to sleep through that may require some kind of antiseptic, sleeping medicine or something to kill off the pain for a while. They did not say if there were any bruises before removing the bulb but by the sounds of the last paragraph I think they meant that.

Another issue I see, where are they going to get such medicines in a prison?
They must be well equipped in their hospitality unless the guards smuggled them in.

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 01 July 2006 - 10:24 AM

[Cobnat]

Well I already thought of some reasons why. According to them it got in there. Good point that must have been a struggle. For fat people they say their mouths are bigger than their bums and in this case it could be the opposite way round for him.
The involvement of tools or oil I think is a possibility for inserting the bulb.
How to sleep through that may require some kind of antiseptic, sleeping medicine or something to kill off the pain for a while. They did not say if there were any bruises before removing the bulb but by the sounds of the last paragraph I think they meant that.
Another issue I see, where are they going to get such medicines in a prison?
They must be well equipped in their hospitality unless the guards smuggled them in.

So they drugged him, tied him down and put a light bulb in his ass? What kind of people live over there?

Im just amazed it didnt brake.

[SimeSublime]

I remember they covered this one in Scrubs. In that case it was pretty much assumed that he put it up there himself.

[J m HofMarN]

For god's sake you two. As, ya know, every thinking person within this thread has pointed out, he put the damned light bulb in there himself.

Now, it is within the realms of possibility that the guards spontaneously decided to drug him and put a light bulb in his ass for no good reason. These would have had to be the same authorities who, in a similar instance, thought it would be fun to spontaneously kill OJ Simpson's girlfriend and then frame him for murder.

[Cobnat]

For god's sake you two. As, ya know, every thinking person within this thread has pointed out, he put the damned light bulb in there himself.

Going back to my original question: How big is the average anus?

[Deepsycher]

"Every thinking Person" - Me too but I am thinking for both sides.


Additionally the gaurds could find this as a form of entertainment both ways.

"I am hungry."
"Would you like a bulb to eat?"
"Yes, what kind of bulb?" - Thinking of the bulb vegetables.
"You'll know when you wake up."



For himself: However he got the lightbulb and other than attention this could be an excuse to move prisons. What do you think of trying to move prisons?


I don't know the size of the anus as they could vary in each person.

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 02 July 2006 - 06:25 AM

[barend]

seriously...

MOONSHINING!!!