[J m HofMarN]

So, promted by a recent article in the news forums, I read up on scientology on wikipedia. What I found... was horror. Nothing in the bible, the quran, or any other book I'd ever read could compare to the shit in scientology's beliefs.

They don't have a bible. They have a bunch of books they market aggressively, and then if you want to know more you have to actually pay the church for them to tell you certain things. The things they tell you include the delightful story of Xemu, a space overlord who brought a trillian frozen people to earth 75 million years ago, stacked them around volcanoes, and then blue them up with hydrogen bombs, and then made their souls watch a movie for 36 days somehow. And not just any movie, a 3d movie on a giant projector.

They claim that none of the prophets of other religions ever existed, although L Ron Hubbard once said he was an incarnation of Budha. Instead they say that Targs and another alien race force these ideas into our brains, and that if we try to make these ideas go away we will die of pheumonia. The volcano on the cover of the dianetics books and such isn't a clever metaphor for unleashing inner power, it's an allusion to Xemu blowing people up with volcanoes and hydrogen bombs. Oh, and did I mention that the guy wrote that the trillian people set for extermination were first injected by psychiatrists and then sent to earth on modern planes with rocket engines?

There's more too. Hubbard HATED psychiatrists. He blamed them for every war in the 20th century and his church blames them for 9/11. He has also published accounts of scientology disciples muttering insanity about their supposed past lives, including one who said that he died after being turned into a space walrus. Their celebrity clientelle is based on the fact that they treat celebrities completely differently than they treat normal people, and even have centers meant just to attract unwitting icons to their crazy space religion.

In a letter to his wife Hubbard admits to being drunk on rum while doing much of his "research" for the foundations of scientology, which might explain that it's entirely made up of nonsense. Maybe I'm just misinformed, or maybe the spirits of people killed by Xemu are messing with my brain, I dunno. What do you all think?

[Gobbler]

I think "Tom Cruise is a member of Scientology" already sums the whole hilarity up quite well.

[Sailor Abbey]

Oh my god are you serious! Holy shit that’s scary. And people think I’m a nut job? Wow.

At first I thought you were just kidding, but...

I'm really freaked out. Theres a lot of scientologists running around out there. Thats frickin frightening.

[J m HofMarN]

go to google and read their articles for scientology or xenu or space opera. It's all one hundred percent serious. I couldn't believe it myself because it sounds basically just like bad sci-fi. They claim that our souls have a fuckton of implants in them that make them more tractable to alien races and make us continue getting reincarnated, but they never point out just why alien races would want to keep people imprisoned on earth, or why Xenu had to take people to earth to blow them up.

The story of Xenu isn't given to entry level scientologists. They, no joke, have eight levels of the religion, and each level you have to pay for, and at every level you learn more about what L Ron Hubbard said. At some point in the higher levels they say that Jesus, was somehow a pederast, but they also claim he didn't exist and that we just like the idea of crucifixion because that was how are souls were kept while we watched Xenu's brainwashing movie.

I don't pretend to know which religion is the right one, but no matter what it is I'm sure it's not scientology. Good luck trying to tell anyone that, because their wacky religious dogma contains a stipulation that members cannot associate with anyone who criticizes scientology. The church is also highly aggressive with lawsuits against critics or people who reveal church secrets, such as the story of Xenu (by the way, Xemu's name can be either with an N or a M because Hubbard only wrote it one time and it was in cursive, and he said it both ways, so noone knows.)

anyhow, as for the links I mentioned:

http://en.wikipedia....pection_Rundown

http://en.wikipedia....i/Disconnection

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xenu

http://en.wikipedia....tology_doctrine

http://en.wikipedia....tion_Snow_White

[Slade]

I think it's more important to look at the ideals that beliefs are formed around than the actual mythology that surrounds their account of creation. But I must confess that that loses credibility because it's so absurdly and blatantly anachronous.

[Cobnat]

Scientology, it will eat your childgren.

[Otal Nimrodi]

Now that's alarmist.

This post has been edited by Otal Nimrodi: 28 March 2006 - 06:29 PM

[Sailor Abbey]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA




I'm sorry - I cant stop laughing!




Xemu!


HAHAHAHAHHA

[Otal Nimrodi]

It is a pretty cool name.

[Sailor Abbey]

That it is.

[Despondent]

which ome?


Thanks Wikipedia! I was beginning to doubt your true worth.

And thanks, J m, for showing the faith basis of some hollywood authorities. It's nice to see their conviction is so grounded also.

[barend]

it's pretty lame all up....

a friend of mine and i met many years ago doing this post school employment skills program that incorporated 4 weeks work experience.
my friend wanted to be a writer and went for a packing postion in a book warehouse which turned out to be for L Ron Hubbard books.

they gave him a questionaire that took like an hour to finish...
and gave me a boook to read while i waited...

i don't think he ever reported back to them after that...

but the bonus of the whole experience was that we then understood the lyrics to Faith No More's 'land of sunshine'

[J m HofMarN]

If you have the heart to read the timeline or the quotes from so called past lives, you'll notice that, as Despondent pointed out, their beliefs are so well rooted that their religion apparently started BEFORE THE FORMING OF THE UNIVERSE. These guys throw around the numbers trillian and quintillian pretty much at random.

[barend]

i want to start a church of Xemuism now..

[Otal Nimrodi]

I want my own religion based off of a set of loony Sci-Fi books!