[Slade]

We all read it like a million years ago.

[Supes]

and did you read it?

I showed to my friends and they thought it was gold...

but not one person even glanced at it here...
(except civillian#2, bless him)

otherwise i'd do this sort of thing more often.

Oh boo hoo to you poor dittums! Checking the thread I noticed that I replied to the post. Unfortunately I appear to not have directly referenced your most excellent work as I was too busy starting my own rant and then watching you derail yourself playing with the girls

[Otal Nimrodi]

and did you read it?

I showed to my friends and they thought it was gold...

but not one person even glanced at it here...
(except civillian#2, bless him)

otherwise i'd do this sort of thing more often.

Yup, I loved it.

[Cobnat]

I have noticed (since page one) that this topic is going way off-topic... if that makes sense...

[ion eon]

It is a "way-off-topic"

[Cobnat]

These are the emotions I am feeling right about now.

[SimeSublime]

if you're board... here's a thread link to a similar thing i did a couple years back based on this article...

read the original article first...

then read mine... or don't... no one else did.

In my defence, I think that was before I was around. But the main problem, was that the origional article was a satire itself, so you were really just pointing out the jokes, rather then ripping it off.

[barend]

i never actually checked out the website...

gutner pasted it... (and for some reason i didn't quenstion it).

[Slade]

BLAMBAGO!

[Supes]

i never actually checked out the website...

gutner pasted it... (and for some reason i didn't quenstion it).

Well this is an understandable thing. Very few chose to question the Gutner. You are not alone... and it makes you somewhat more human.

[barend]

maybe it was the eloquence, maybe it was punctuation...

but everything he said just seemed so solid

[Supes]

maybe it was the eloquence, maybe it was punctuation...

but everything he said just seemed so solid

I'm hearing you! I miss J. Gutner.

This post has been edited by Supes: 08 February 2006 - 01:48 AM

[Cobnat]

Since list that were made by shallow retards is what got my career as a online article writer, here is another list I found...

http://www.phillytal...humor/girl.html

(Note: its dated 2002, but if she was a whore then chances are shes a whore now)


1. Don't always expect us to call you.. The phone works both ways!! You know the drill!!


Yeah... and the drill is that the girl calls the guy, becouse girls are insecure beasts.


2. No matter if we're fat or not.. Most girls aren't as self-confident as guys! And we need to be complimented as often as possible!


Have you ever been in a guys locker room? No ofcourse not, well trust me, when it comes to self-awarness, guys are much more feminine then women.


3. Birthdays, Vday, & Anniversaries are important to us... Can't you remember
three important dates out of the whole year!? We remember them.. Why can't
you!?


Hey shutup! I can hardly remember my own birthday! Those things happen 3 times a YEAR, why bother remembering them? I mean, I havent stayed that long with a girl... ever.


4. You can't play around with our head no matter what the circumstances!!! It's not fair! Make up your mind!!!


Doors work both ways you manipulative bitchs.


5. Eight times out of ten......The boobs on TV or in magazines AREN'T REAL!!! So get over them!!


But they are still bigger then yours... ZING!


6. DO NOT act different or be a jerk around your friends.. It will get you in the end... (We remember these types of things)


Honey, your sleeping with the wrong guys it seems.


7. Know the situations not to make stupid jokes!! It only makes you look like more of an ass!!


Like now?


8. You're the guy, don't expect us to pay for your food!! It's bad enough if you're not paying for us!!


You traditionalist whore! I myself am a proud feminist and not only believe in women paying HALF but all of what they didnt pay these past of hundred thousand years!


9. No matter what, we don't want to hear about another "chick" you dated, were interested in, kissed etc.


Same applies to your former/current boyfriend.


10. Don't make comments about our old boyfriends it only makes you look more jealous!!


Well stop making comments about my mother, little miss bitch.


11. If YOU kiss us.. Know that we're going to expect you to call us!!! Don't be an ass about it! YOU MADE THE MOVE!!


No... I kiss and then I move on, its how I operate damnit!


12. Being drunk is not an excuse for ANY of your actions!!!


True, Ill give you that one... but also...
Having your period is not an excuse for ANY of your actions!!!


13. "Hanging out with the guys" can not consume all your time!! We need time too!!


So you can have someone to nag too, guys only stick around for one thing and the OTHER thing a girl can do with her mouth.


14. You can come shopping with us!! We would do it for you! So don't
complain the whole time!!!


Guys shop to live, girls live to shop.


15. You can put the toilet seat down.... That's how you found it!!


Ill keep that in mind next time I need to take a leek.


16. Don't make comments about our family... It's just something you don't do!!


Same applies you arrogant cockmonger.


17. If you kissed us in that past week... I DON'T CARE WHO SHE IS, WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE OR HOW BIG HER BOOBS ARE... You are not supposes to kiss her too..!!


Well you are not supposes to be lookin.


18. Do not brag to your friends...unless you want us to discuss with the
girls how small your penis is.....


You do that anyway.


19. Don't lead us on... Because we will talk about what a jerk you are, & it really doesn't give you a good reputation around the other girls you may be interested in!! Got it??


Yeah... but that will no doubt happen AFTER you get your brains fucked out, so it doesnt really matter.


20. We don't want to ALWAYS want porn as much as you do!!


No, just 90% of the time.


21. If we have a big game, meet, competition, or any kind of important
event... WE EXPECT YOU TO BE THERE!! It's just a given.


Look... for the last time Im not going to your birthday, its always sooo boring!


22. Don't move too fast.. It only makes us think how long it's REALLY been since you got some!! You'll know when we're ready okay?


Shutup and open your legs.


23. You have to meet the rest of the family someday!! Just know how to act!!


Yeah, Ill piss in the soup and take a shit in the oven.


24. "I love you" is a big step..... Don't say it if you don't mean it!!


Why do you hook up with guys if you know they have no feelings for you... oh right, the sex...


25. Know our songs when they come on the radio.


So we can sing them? I sing terribly, but if you wish...


26. Come & pick us up when we need you to.. Most of the time we just want to see you :-)


THEN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE! Fuckwit. Its as if women have lost the ability to walk... and pay for thier own meals... and think for themselves.


27. Be there for us when we need you. A smile, a call, a kiss, a hug, a
visit, or just listening can go a long way when we're done or mad at you.


When a girl is EVER mad at me, its usualy becouse shes on her period.


28. Talk about your feelings sometimes... it helpls A LOT!!


Not if the feelings are hate and anger.


29. Don't lie to us about anything!! You know we're going to find out eventually!!


Doubt it, many people still dont know about the secrets I keep.


30. Once we break up or break things off.. It's WRONG to be interested or date a close friend of ours!


No its not, get over it, I did.


31. If you make a promise & then break it.. WE'RE GOING TO BE PISSED! Just expect it.


Same applies to you miss "Im too tired".


32. Don't brag about the size of your manhood, It just makes you look really stupid.


My cock is half my body mass.


33. DO NOT hit on or lead on numerous girls... Because it definitely sucks for you when we all find out... You just ruined your chances with all of us!!


But your already fucked by that time.


34. Most of the time... If you have a car, you have kissed us before, &
you're the same place we are... There is a possibility we might ask you for a ride home if we really need it, don't get mad... It's really not that big of a deal!!!!


You can walk, its not to far, only 10 kilometres.


35. Don't cheat on your girlfriends with us... It puts us both in a real bad situation.


Get over it.


36. We have PMS every month.. Please just try to understand... We don't feel good, we're angry, and we're emotional.. DON'T FIGHT WITH US.. It's just something you don't want to do.


Im going to put that on my "to do list".
12345566767. Pick a fight with a girl on PMS.


37. Most of the things you do reflects back on us in some way.. or
effects us in some way.... Don't do anything stupid!


Dont think or say anything stupid then.


38. If you still have feelings for your ex, don't get involved with us.. We'd rather not be in the middle of that one!!


Then stop spreading your legs around.


39. Don't get involved with us or do anything with us if you don't want
anyone to know about it! Or don't expect anything to happen between us ... It's really not that hard at all!!!


Ill keep you locked in my basement then.

---

If you are offended by anything I have said, fuck off.

---

Before any 'chicks' start bitching to me about why I dish out at girls, the next list will be my attack on guys so shutup.

This post has been edited by Cobnat: 06 August 2006 - 11:40 PM

[Slade]

I don't know whether to chuckle, sigh, or shake my fist in righteous indignation whilst crying out "FOUL NECROMANCER!" in a loud, clear voice, amplified by my convictions.

So pretend I did all three.

[barend]

that list made me angry.