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squirrels eat dog!!! - no cleaver title. 12/01/05 + support acts

#1 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 04 December 2005 - 07:16 PM

QUOTE
Russian squirrel pack 'kills dog'
Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.

Passers-by were too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute.

They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.

A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food sources, although scientists are sceptical.

The attack was reported in parkland in the centre of Lazo, a village in the Maritime Territory, and was witnessed by three local people.

A "big" stray dog was nosing about the trees and barking at squirrels hiding in branches overhead when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked, reports say.

"They literally gutted the dog," local journalist Anastasia Trubitsina told Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper.

"When they saw the men, they scattered in different directions, taking pieces of their kill away with them."

Mikhail Tiyunov, a scientist in the region, said it was the first he had ever heard of such an attack.

While squirrels without sources of protein might attack birds' nests, he said, the idea of them chewing a dog to death was "absurd".

"If it really happened, things must be pretty bad in our forests," he added.

Komosmolskaya Pravda notes that in a previous incident this autumn chipmunks terrorised cats in a part of the territory.

A Lazo man who called himself only Mikhalich said there had been "no pine cones at all" in the local forests this year.

"The little beasts are agitated because they have nothing to eat," he added.
News article (BBC)

thanks to spoon poetic for this terrifying tale of er... terror.

to be honest... i actually think it's scarier that they eat pine cones.

but when chipmonks and squirrels start attacking larger animals, i think it's fair to say that this planet has gotten as messed up as we should probably tolerate...

i think it's time we lit up some cigars and had that nuclear war we've all been talking about over the years.

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in other news:

The fabulous face-plant suicide pact A real life 'face off' story brought to us by Dr.Lecter (which is less than suprising when you think about it)

if what she says about her dog is true, she might want to get some squirrels.

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and like all news shows we end today on an aaaawwwww note:

cat get's upgraded from cargo-class to business-class which is a boring title but 'she-male sea-mail' wasn't really appropriate. But it's a heart warming story from J M HofFmaRn.

...about a Milwaukee cat that snuck into france by stowing onto a boat, and then was rewarded with a business class flight home. Whereas when i tried it, they made me walk the plank!

This post has been edited by barend: 04 December 2005 - 07:20 PM

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#2 User is offline   Slade Icon

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Posted 05 December 2005 - 01:45 AM

What is that place, Raccoon City? We have squirrels on campus... They look so cute... *is suddenly very nervous*
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#3 User is offline   Chyld Icon

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Posted 05 December 2005 - 06:06 AM

Nobody has made any link between squirrels and cats yet... unsure.gif
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Posted 05 December 2005 - 07:59 AM

QUOTE
A Lazo man who called himself only Mikhalich said there had been "no pine cones at all" in the local forests this year.
This is presumably because he can not pronounce the remainder of his name, right? I mean, Mikhalich? It's never "A man who called himself only William, it's a man who called himself only Bill. So... How does Mikha sound as a nickname.

QUOTE
had just woken up when she was mauled — perhaps after stepping on the dog.


I would have noticed stepping on the dog. I mean, does this woman sleepwalk or something?
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Posted 05 December 2005 - 02:45 PM

I always knew this sort of thing was possible, but to actually read about it... I didn't see that coming.

Herbavores like squirrels actually can digest meat. Plant fibers are more complex then meat, so meat isn't as hard to break down. Wild turkeys for instance have been known to take a bite out of hunter's ankles.
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Posted 05 December 2005 - 05:25 PM

QUOTE (Chyld @ Dec 5 2005, 06:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Nobody has made any link between squirrels and cats yet... unsure.gif


my ex-girlfriend's cat ate a possum.


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what's scary about the faceplant thing is 2 38 year old french woman commiting suicide and loosing the exact same part of their face.
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Posted 05 December 2005 - 05:34 PM

If I remember correctly, one of the differences is just in teeth and mouth structure in determining what you eat. We have both kinds of teeth and can eat both kinds of food.

Still, that sounds like it might be the work of a evil villian who can mentally control these ravenous squirrels to coordinate thier viscous attacks.
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Posted 05 December 2005 - 06:37 PM

I was viscously attacked by some molasses once. ph34r.gif
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Posted 05 December 2005 - 07:07 PM

What a terrible pun.
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Posted 05 December 2005 - 07:40 PM

pinecones have nuts in them, ergo pinenuts, which are delicious and indispensible in Italian cuisine, as Chefelf would surely tell us.

I think that's pretty damned disturbing to be honest that the environment is so bad that there arent even any pinecones left.

The story about the kitty makes it all better though, cuz as long as cats can traverse the atlantic I dont have to think about the imminent global climatalogical catastrophe.

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Posted 05 December 2005 - 07:52 PM

This squirrel story makes me think of that one time when a guy was attacked by squirrels. They animal control people eventually caught one, and called him in to identify his attacker. He couldn't though... he said they all look alike.

If pinecones are the only thing standing between us and a world of angry hungry squirrels, then I say that people should start using palm trees for christmas.
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#12 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 05 December 2005 - 10:18 PM

that first paragraph made me shake my head...


pinenuts are awsomness... that is a little more justified. but it said they eat pine cones which is pretty nasty still.

when cute furry animals attack, there's pretty much nowhere to run.
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Posted 06 December 2005 - 12:20 AM

QUOTE (Zatoichi @ Dec 6 2005, 06:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If I remember correctly, one of the differences is just in teeth and mouth structure in determining what you eat. We have both kinds of teeth and can eat both kinds of food.

That's just one of the factors. Dogs can survive on on fruit and veg, albeit not very well. Cats, on the other hand, can only eat meat. Or at least thats what I heard somewhere. I think it has to do with the enzymes in your stomach, carnivors can only break down meat proteins, and herbivors can only break down plant proteins.
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Posted 06 December 2005 - 04:45 PM

Which leaves me wondering why the hell they put peas in cat food...
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Posted 06 December 2005 - 05:47 PM

QUOTE (Chyld @ Dec 5 2005, 06:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Nobody has made any link between squirrels and cats yet... unsure.gif

My cat catches and eats squirrels! (she hasn't since we got her the bell)
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