[barend]

Seattle man dies after sex with horse
Police say death was accidental, investigate farm on cruelty suspicions

SEATTLE - A Seattle man died after engaging in anal sex with a horse at a farm suspected of being a gathering place for people seeking to have sex with livestock, police said Friday.

The horse involved in the incident was not harmed, and an autopsy of the unnamed man concluded that “the manner of death was accidental ... due to perforation of the colon,” a police spokesman said.

“The information that we have is that people would find this place via chat rooms on the Web,” said Sgt. John Urquhart of the King County Sheriff’s Department.

Although sex with animals is not illegal in Washington state, Urquhart said that investigators were looking into whether the farm, located in Enumclaw, 40 miles southeast of Seattle, allowed sex with smaller animals that resulted in animal cruelty, which is a crime.

“If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,” Urquhart said. 

MSNBC article

thanks again, JMH for another bestiality story


well...

yeah...

this one seems to have sorted itself out.

[SithAvenger]

What the hell? Now that's what I call a weird story!

Horses are more and more horny these days...

This post has been edited by SithAvenger: 28 July 2005 - 11:56 PM

[J m HofMarN]

I was just stunned when I read this. I thought that maybe the guy had a heart attack, and it took me a few seconds to realize that the guy wasnt screwing the horse, the horse was screwing the guy... TO... DEATH!

[Slade]

I'm too dumbfounded to comment.

[Chyld]

And yet, if you use LimeWire, the amount of bestiality porn you can find, even just by doing a "Whats New" search, scares the effing daylights out of me. And there's worse, but its a family site, and I've still got to eat brekky.

But as to the actual deed itself, I'm going to join Slade in the "open mouthed, 'WTF was that?'" corner.

[floppydisk]

That's kind of... gross.

[mrtimp]

Honestly someone told me about this but i thought it so far fetched to believe but after reading that I can honestly say.................well I dont know what to say, i am fucking speechless!!!!

[Slade]

And you'd be fucking dead if you were fucking horses.

[Kirby]

Slade: No, you'd be fucking dead if horses were fucking you.

How do you get a horse to do that kind of thing anyways?
Promises of an exciting mainstream movie career afterwords? A shed load of money? Liqure and lots of it?

It boggles the mind.

[J m HofMarN]

Seeing Kirby, the unrivaled DND master in this thread, reminds me that DND applies to all things. For instance:

Could the horse's wang be considered a weapon since it slew a played character who, as an adult male human(class unknown) probably had between 10 and 20 hit dice, depending on level?

Would the horse's attack be considered a crit hit? Or did the guy just botch a Skill Check: Fucked by horses roll?

How much XP does the horse gain?

And most importantly

WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH ALL THE ADS FOR GOAT ENTHUSIASTS???

[Jordan]

It should be illegal. Poor horse, being de-animalized like that.

[barend]

de-anal-ized.

[J m HofMarN]

nono, the horse wasn't de-analized, the guy was.

[Kirby]

Ok, time to bust out my monster manual for this.

Could the horse's wang be considered a weapon since it slew a played character who, as an adult male human(class unknown) probably had between 10 and 20 hit dice, depending on level?

Only if the horse took the 'Improved Unarmed Strike' feat or was a monk. The human's class had to be 'Peasent' (see Dungeon Master's Guide) to fall to a CR 1 monster.

Would the horse's attack be considered a crit hit? Or did the guy just botch a Skill Check: Fucked by horses roll?

No this would be a grapple check,. First the horse had make a touch attack to grab the target, then a grapple check to keep hold of the target making a free attack every successful check. The horse being a large creature had an advantage over the hick (Horse's grapple modifier was 8, no lie)

How much XP does the horse gain?

For a CR 1 encounter for a level one adventuring party is 300xp for a party of one, so I'm gonna go with that.

Remember that all this is assuming that this was a D&Desq encounter, that has both parties were fighting to the death. Remeber that as crazy as D&D is, it sure as hell doesn't calculate gaming mechanics for this kind of play. But if you enjoy looking into the face of cuthlu-esq horrors that make you go insane, well just go here and follow the link to the FATAL site and reveiw. I did it and now I have only 34 SAN points left.

Now I have to planet to save Mechanics-Man AWAY!!

[barend]

there's nerdy... and then there's kirby.

nerdier and cooler than your average nerd... however that works.