[SithAvenger]

I simply use a Giant Magnet to recover the ring and then I hide it in the belly of a pig. Then I put the pig in a farm with 100 000 000 pigs.

Pigs counted: 100 000 001

[Kirby]

You forget about my 'handy dandy metal detector'. I go around the pig farm and scan them for the ring. The one that has the ring will then be made into some Jimmy Dean sausage. I keep the ring on me like the rules says, and get a nice little breakfast in return.

# Times Metal Detector Used: 2
# Pigs Slaugtered: 1
# of Breakfasts Enjoyed: 1

[SithAvenger]

But when you are sleeping, I sneak up to your room, stab your eyeballs with my knifes and then I happily steal the ring.

Eyes stabbed: 2

[Coco]

Well, out of nothing, I happen to have a Tomahawk missile, and guess what? It's aimed at you!
Then I look for the precious from what's left of you and take it. Then I buy 100 replicas of the one ring and put them all on me, even the real one.

Sith Avengers blown to bits: 2
Ring replicas used: 100

[Icey]

I use the force to rip the one ring off your fingers, then I shred your fingers to pieces for good measures. Using the force ofcourse.

Force Usage: 2
Fingers shredded: 10

[floppydisk]

I kidnap GL's kids and tell GL that unless he makes Episodes 7-9, they die.
Then I tell you that unless you give me the precious, GL makes new SW movies. You happily hand it over.

Children kidnapped: However many GL has
Extortions: 2
New SW episodes that almost got made: 3
Number of times that a non violent approach has been used to get the precious: 1

[Girdag Fireskull]

I surround your house, an use giant speakers to blast the 'Crazy Frog' song at you until your brain becomes mulch from the relentless dings. Then I take the precious from your quivering hands and weld it to my finger.

Crazy Frogs Used: 1
Brains Mulched: 1
Neighbours annoyed: 12
Fingers Welded: 1

[floppydisk]

After grabbing myself some decent earplugs, I get the killer bunny from Monty Python and sic in on you. It bites off your hand and brings it to me.

Earplugs used: 2
Killer animals sicced: 2
Hands severed: 1

[SithAvenger]

I happily ask for the precious and you happily give it to me.

Happy people: 2

[Coco]

I happily kick you in the face and then I happily take the preciuos from your unconscious body.

Sith Avengers rendered unconscious: 3
Happy people: 3

[floppydisk]

I break into the F4's headquarters and when SithAvenger tries to stop me, I render him unconcous with my electricity powers and put him on a spaceship destined for the stars! And I steal the precious.


Sith Avengers rendered unconscious: 4
Happy people: 4
times my electricity powers were used: 1
Rockets launched: 1
References from really old Daredevil comics: 1

[Coco]

Wow, how did that happen? I had the precious...

I guess you just took one of the replicas that Icey ripped off my fingers. If so...

Number of people fooled with fake rings: 1




Oh, and I still have the precious. Don't you dare steal it from my hands!

[floppydisk]

Ugh... uhh, yeah. While you were being distracted by my clever story, I rip off your hand and keep your hand with me, and I have the precious.

# of hands ripped off: 2
# of people fooled by idiots that weren't paying attention to the story: 1

[barend]

having 'meditated before i was cremated' the one ring (liking my personality the most) absorbed my spirit and malice and replaces your personality with mine, therefore i now have the ring.

metaphysical anexures: 1
times rap group 'Onyx' has been quoted: 1

[SithAvenger]

I steal the precious from Barend wearing an anti-unconscious suit when he was in the bathroom. Then I'm happy again.

Times Barend has gone to the bathroom: 1
Happy people: 5