Posted 09 February 2004 - 04:36 PM
We are of course unable to see the world as it really is, capable as we are only of misinterpreting the things we see through the filter of our own ego. So, that said, here's what I think.
Whenever I have had the feeling a girl likes me, I have been right. I therefore think this is the way it works: if you think this girl likes you (in that way), then she has probably given you reason to feel that. Can't say what she has said or done, but if you think it's the case, good odds you're right. So, at this point, any strong positive feedback from you will be good for her. Nate's idea of giving her a homemade present is great. It's not generic enough (like flowers) to be lame, and it's not specific enough (like a photo album of all the places you've ever gone together) to be creepy. It's just the right blend of obvious and casual. It would be nice if it contained some songs you know she likes but doesn't actually own yet, but if you don't know her that well yet, then use your best guesses.
If she doesn't get the idea of the CD (or if you decide not to go that way), then just ask her out, you goof! Say, "Let's do something sometime," and be ready to be as specific as you have to be. Like a movie, or dinner, a walk in the park, or a spontaneous drinking contest. Whatever you think she'd be into, so long as it's not at school. And she'll know exactly why you want it to be out of school; it's an actual committment to spending time together, unlike the prison environment, where friendships are more or less random.
If she doesn't get the idea of doing something together, like if she shows up with a friend, or suggests that she might do that, say "Well, she's welcome along, but won't it be awkward when we start fucking?"
No, forget that last bit. But seriously, sometimes a girl is just way too shy ever to meet you halfway, so you may need to tell her, at some point, "I am coming on to you. It may be more obvious when other guys do it, but just so you know, this is what it looks like when I do it. I like you, in that way, and this is me doing something about it." By the time you have to resort to a measure like that, there's about a 50/50 chance her blindness to your advances has been intentional, to spare your feelings, and that she's not interested after all. If you have to take that step, it's a brave one, and you should know there's a good chance of rejection.
But: you can't win if you don't buy a ticket!
"I had a lot of different ideas. At one point, Luke, Leia and Ben were all going to be little people, and we did screen tests to see if we could do that." -George Lucas, in STAR WARS: the Annotated Screenplays (p197).