On the subject of Jesus, I would like to question his status as a self-less human being/god. There are three reasons why I would like to question a. his intelligence, b. his motives c. if he is a bastard.
a. He goes out drinking all the damn time with his brothers, but he can turn water into water? What is that all about? Hell if I could do that I sure as hell wouldn't be paying to wine all the time.
b. Why does Jesus suddenly decide once hes reached about 30, that hes going to start performing miracles? Mid-life crisis maybe? Why would the son of God walk around dieing people for 30 years of his life and not do a single thing about it? Even though its a fact (loosing as that fact is according to the Bible) that he had the power to do so? If there was a Jesus surely he would have done everything he could? Hence, he must have been a bastard, not just because, obviously, Mary wasn't married to God, but in the not very nice sense. Did Joesph just sit Jesus down one day and say "Look son, you mother and I understand that your the Messiah and all, but... don't you think you should get a trade under you belt first?"
And of course Jesus would say "Yes, you're right, this 'Son of God' thing won't last, I mean who can make a living out of being the divine set from Heaven to forgive man's sins?"
"Exactly my thoughts Jesus."
My fourth point is: Why didn't Matthew, Mark, Luke or John have a sense of humour?
Unless the joke was lost in translation, why didn't they take the opertunity to make a joke in their version of the feeding of the 5,000? No-where does it say in the Bible 'And one man stood up to thank Jesus, and with a suprized look on his face say "Hang on a minute... didn't you build my shed?"'
Where are all these matters in the Bible? It doesn't make sense! I rest my case.