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flooded fool flies for fag!!! Mon May 23, 4:15 PM ET

#1 barend

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Posted 24 May 2005 - 12:29 AM

QUOTE

Man Leaps From Car to Retrieve Cigarette

FOREMAN, Ark. - A man was injured when he jumped from a car traveling 55-60 mph in an effort to retrieve a cigarette blown out of a passenger-side window.

Jeff Foran, 38, suffered trauma to his nose, eyes and chin after leaping from the car Saturday night and landing on the eastbound lane Arkanas 234 near the Oklahoma border, state police Trooper Jamie Gravier said.

The driver of the car, Jerry Glenn Nelson, 44, of Haworth, Okla., said Foran had asked him earlier in the evening to be a designated driver after a night of drinking.

"Foran did the right thing and asked his buddy to drive him home. Foran showed up at Nelson's home about 45 minutes earlier saying he (Foran) was too intoxicated to drive home, Gravier said.

"Nelson said Foran was smoking a cigarette when it blew out the window and Foran jumped out the window to retrieve the cigarette. Nelson said he was driving between 55 and 60 mph when Foran jumped out," the trooper said.

"It was obvious he was extremely intoxicated and this man was hurt," Gravier said. "If anything could make him stop smoking, this should be it. The man is lucky to be alive."

yahooooo news

this is shaping up as a great week for miaming one's self for the dumbest reasons...

i've been pretty drunk before i've even suffered severe alchohol poisoning, but there was always that little voice in my head saying: "AAGGGHH!!! watch out!!!"

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#2 Mnesymone

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Posted 24 May 2005 - 01:55 AM

Yes.... aaghh watch out! don't smoke in a car, don't smoke and don't leap from a moving vehicle... and for those of us ozlanders who don't know their metric/imperials that's 88-96 km/h... dumb americans.
Is that guy in line for an Honourable Mentions amongst the Darwin Awards?

#3 Chyld

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Posted 24 May 2005 - 05:41 AM

If not, he should be...

When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.

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#4 looktothesky

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Posted 24 May 2005 - 09:12 AM

QUOTE

Jeff Foran, 38, suffered trauma to his nose, eyes and chin...

Wow, that IS lucky. Leaping from a car and only getting that done to you... lucky he didn't hit a guard rail or anything.

PRECIOUS VELIUS....

#5 J m HofMarN

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Posted 24 May 2005 - 09:35 AM

When you used the word fag for a cigarette I was confused and bewildered. Was this guy British? How? But when it turned out he was an American I just kind of said "Ooooh ok now it makes sense."

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.

- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.

#6 SimeSublime

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Posted 24 May 2005 - 10:15 AM

At that speed, its amazing. It really is.

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#7 Mnesymone

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Posted 24 May 2005 - 05:44 PM

Well he couldn't suffer brain trauma because he didn't really have one.

#8 barend

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Posted 24 May 2005 - 06:17 PM

heheheh

he got off his face, then on his face...

#9 Mnesymone

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Posted 24 May 2005 - 08:19 PM

And left some of his face behind.
It sounds almost comical if you put it like that... rather like "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" which was the ultimate happy tune/violent gory death song.

#10 J m HofMarN

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Posted 25 May 2005 - 07:48 AM

I always did wander about that song, I read a review of it by Yahtzee but never heard it.

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.

- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.

#11 Mnesymone

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Posted 25 May 2005 - 05:56 PM

Well... its an uber-happy song about a boy who throughout the course of his life kills people with a silver hammer.
The chorus goes like this:
Bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon (his/her) head!
Bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that (he/she) was dead!

Says it all really.

#12 barend

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Posted 25 May 2005 - 06:25 PM

i've always loved that song...

there's also a song i heard at the cinema one time (while i was having a rum and coke before the movie), it did some research and here are the lyrics...

I Did What I Did For Maria
by Tony Christie

Sunrise this is the last day that i ll ever see out in the court yard there
ready for me but i go to my lord with no fear cos i did what i did for
maria.

As i road in to town with the sun going down all the windows were
barred there was no one around for they that i'd come with my hand
on my gun and revenging my heart for maria my dearestdeparting
maria

Take an eye for an eye and a life for a life and somebody must die
for the death of my wife yes i did what i did for maria i did what did
for maria

Laughter echoed across from the end of the street there was the man
i was burning to meet but my mind was so calm and so clear as i
took my revenge for maria and he fell to the ground raising dust all
but i know he was died long before he went down it was quick it was
clean made it easy on him which is more when he did for maria
when he did what he did for maria.

i just couldn't beleive what i was hearing...
i must get a copy...

it's up there with 'little green bag'

This post has been edited by barend: 25 May 2005 - 06:34 PM

#13 Mnesymone

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Posted 25 May 2005 - 07:31 PM

That was weird.

What was the tune like?

#14 barend

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Posted 25 May 2005 - 07:47 PM

had a real george baker / tom jones feel to it...
(with a slight spanish hue)...

very up beat, somethinbg you'd expect to hear at a fun wedding..
(it sounds like it would have been made in the early to mid 70s)

i'm going to try and track it down..

This post has been edited by barend: 25 May 2005 - 07:50 PM

#15 Mnesymone

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Posted 25 May 2005 - 09:51 PM

That's the way of really nasty songs... all have happy tunes.

Still...
Back in school again, Maxwell plays the fool again teacher gets annoyed, writing out fifty times it must not be so..oh oh oh. But when she turns her back on the boy, a noise came from behind! (Da da da da!)
Bang bang maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head!
Da da da da!
Bang bang maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead.

And I grew up with that song. No wonder.