[J m HofMarN]

Yeah, pretty straightforward. What's the coolest/funniest/weirdest/most memorable one you've read or heard? If you can, explain or link to where they came from.

"Stupid foreign piece of party-fuck"

This was an insult used by escaped blue whale "Diedra Babe" in one of her hate mails to the wonderful Miguel and Seanbaby, because apparently it's illegal to call a 500 pound behemoth a "fatty" on the internet. Check the linkage

"Cum infested gutter slut"

I read that one in some horrid chat room when I was new to the internet. My very first four word insult unless you count "stupid doo doo head" which was like the ultimate insult for the first several years of my life. Once you employed this weapon your opponent was fucked.

"Ornamental penis case"

Yahtzee is always good. This particular one is well used against the star of some horrible erotic thriller

I cant wait to see what kind of google ads we dredge up here.

[Heccubus]

All I know is that you can completely ruin any female's day by calling her a whore. It never fails.


Well, unless they're actually a whore, I guess.

Oh, and I once called someone a "pussing cunt scab". That went over well! (It was all in jest, we were just goofing around.)

[Chyld]

Well, regulars to my LJ will have found me describinb my ex as having more wang than a Chinese internet survey, but that aside I'm stumped. I'll find some good ones before tea-time...

[barend]

i like "cunt fucker" (which i got from the firt marylin manson album)
but "son of a cunt" is mine.

"fuck-knuckle" is an old favorite...

[Icey]

Babylonian Virgin

One of my favoured insults, crafted somewhere inside my skull.

Creamdicked Spunkfuck

The results of me and my friend experimenting with curseword mixing. That little piece of insultery is most excellent.

I hope you have a diaper ready/why? because you might need one?

The most excellent insult of the Secret of Monkey Island.

More will come when I'm not so tired.

[jariten]

"your eyes are like two piss holes in the snow"

[Voodoo Dog]

ULTIMATE SEXIST INSULT EVER!

"You, my good woman, are a life support system for a cunt."

BEAT THAT!

[Slade]

Ornamental penis case comes pretty close.

Donkey raping shit-eater is always fun to throw around. There's my general amalagam of every profane word I can think of that I usually reserve for inanimate objects which is something like "You god damned cock sucking mother-fucking titty raping shitass douchebag son of a cunting bitch!"

However, my favorite so far is in retaliation to an insult. "I'd love to have a battle of wits you, but you appear to have come unarmed." It's only made better when it gets blank stares.

[Heccubus]

This is seriously teetering on the brink of violating SO MANY RULES.


BUT IT'S TOO DAMNED AWESOME.

[Slade]

Stick it in the debate club, if you have to. That's where all the crazy stuff goes.

And let me also add "consumerist dishwasher BMW" to the list of great insults.

[Voodoo Dog]

Nice to see ya finally lighten up Heccubus me ol' mate! I just KNEW you'd be able to pull that broomstick out of yer arse eventually!

Just to continue currying your favour, here are a few piss-takers I've been dealt by gorgeous little lassies in the past who wanted to crush my soul and metaphorically rip off my testicles:

You have a sweet face...just like a chewed up toffee!
You look like a million dollars...all green and crinkled!
You're very brave...if I had a face like yours I'd be afraid to leave the house!

ZING!

[Slade]

That's dreadful, VD. I haven't really been properly insulted since middle school (that's junior high for some of you). People sometimes would call me 'fag', but then I'd just laugh because they lacked the capacity to come up with anything that actually was insulting.

[floppydisk]

I love the british insults like 'wanker'.

[Voodoo Dog]

Not just British! Irish too!

We micks lead the world when it comes to insults. You thought pronouncing the word "whore" as "ho" was good? We say "hoor" you wankers!

That's HOO-UR.

Strangely enough, it is used to describe both lads and lassies. It can also be used as a compliment or as affectionate banter.

"Paidraig! Yez fookin hoor! Haven't seen you in ages! How's the craic?"

Irishmen do this because actually saying we LOVE our male friends would immediately be followed by "FUCKING QUEER!"

Slade, why on earth would anyone call you a cigarette? Nah, just messing. I know what it means in America. In fact, I've always wanted to walk into a shop in the U.S. and ask for a packet of fags. What do you think would happen?

[floppydisk]

They would say "What the hell are you talking about?" I've never heard someone call cigerattes fags.