[barend]

i would have gone with St.Valentine.

hey, everybody.... the love pope is in.

[Slade]

*baw chicka waw waw!* <- Crappy imitation of funk music.

This is deliciously off topic, but where did your advice column go, Barend?

[barend]

in the lobby, you wanna resurect it you gotta ask a question!!!

[Voodoo Dog]

This is deliciously off topic

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

For some reason, that struck me as hysterically funny. I couldn't stop laughing for ten minutes.

[Slade]

Uh, thanks?

[Dr Lecter]

Whats the difference between a Nazi and Neo-Nazi? The nazis were smart enough to be able to read Mein Kampf, but still not smart enough to realize its bullshit.

[Slade]

That is so off topic I'd applaud, except you said the N-word.

[Dr Lecter]

That is so off topic I'd applaud, except you said the N-word.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Indeed, I said one of the N-word three times, and one of the B-words just for good measure.

This post has been edited by Dr Lecter: 24 April 2005 - 03:01 PM

[Dr Lecter]

Double post

This post has been edited by Dr Lecter: 24 April 2005 - 03:01 PM

[Voodoo Dog]

(Long post. Please forgive. Story VD working on. Cut to bone as is. Real one better. Real one longer. Much much longer. Relevant bits here. Save space talking dis way. Posted cos catholic church and new pope view on gays, women and marxism. Potential view on other religions and enjoying life. Maybe even races. See things where nothing there. Supposed be ironic look organised religion. Please don't kill. Try not do again. Ok? Ok.)

THE DARKNESS OF HUMANITY

(The following is a speech made at a Ku Klux Klan rally attended mainly by fundamentalist Christians.)

Forgive me for interrupting this important discussion, my brothers. I too, wish to wipe the scourge of Islam from the face of this earth before it destroys all we hold to be sacred. But I wish to bring another matter to your attention. Your children are in serious danger. They are in danger of being turned from the light of Gods divine plan for humanity. Our children are now being exposed daily to a TV show called "Spongebob Squarepants". This show has been made into a major film recently, thereby exposing children all over the world to its blasphemy. I will now present undeniable evidence that this cartoon is the work of the Devil. Thank you.

Lets take a brief look at Spongebob, Spongebobs life, in terms of both the social and the physical, and his relationships with his friends. Lets see how our innocent, happy little cartoon buddy ends up faring, shall we?

Spongebob loves life. He is described, repeatedly, as a happy little chappy. The word happy is used to describe Spongebob over and over again. What’s another word for happy? Gay. What else can gay mean? FUCKING QUEER!

Spongebob has an extremely feminine voice. What other people in this world have an extremely feminine voice? Women, Michael Jackson and FUCKING QUEERS! Since Spongebob is not a woman, and obviously isn’t intended to represent the foul nigger heathen Jackson since his skin is yellow not that foul, foul shade of excremental black we have all come to know and hate, HE HAS TO BE A FUCKING QUEER!

Spongebob has often promoted the heathen concept of "happiness and diversity" on the show. This may seem a good way of life to the unsuspecting person, but don’t be fooled. This “happy way of life” is exactly the same as the satanic ideology of the Godless heathen communists who plague upon the world was finally ended through the noble efforts of our dear United States and the beloved assistance of our dear all powerful LORD. The ideology on this show is also exactly the same as the warped ideas the FUCKING QUEERS of San Francisco spout at every given opportunity. Spongebob is saying everything the evil, godless, communist, hippy-spawning city of New Sodom has said before him, virtually word for word. Because Spongebob is telling our innocent little children to enjoy their lives and tolerate those different from ourselves, he is a FUCKING QUEER!

Spongebob has a friend called Sandy Cheeks. I’ll try to ignore yet another blatantly sexual reference in a childrens TV show and continue. Sandy is a girl. Sandy is also a mammal, a squirrel I think, so she lives on the surface. Whenever she visits Spongebob she must wear diving apparatus to save herself from drowning. Spongebob has the same problem, having to wear a similar device whenever he visits her to avoid drying out and dieing. This is, I believe, a metaphor for Bob and Sandy being from two different worlds, and unable to have a normal relationship together. This means that Spongebob is a FUCKING QUEER! You may be interested, although deeply saddened, to know that some women in the real world actually like having a FUCKING QUEER for a best little mincy boy, trade makeup tips with, exchanges bras with you any time you ask him to, friend in the whole wide world ever ever ever. As the saying goes, truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense. And I’m sure you’ll agree, dear brothers, that this heinous decision on the part of manhating lesbians the world over, makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Yet another proof that the evil, evil curse of the demonic ideology known as “feminism” is destroying the work of our LORD. Hopefully, one day these poor mislead creatures will abandon their scandalous ways and return to the joys of child-rearing and taking care of loving husbands that worship and adore them. This was the purpose the LORD had for all women on this earth. This is good, kind noble and rewarding work that any woman in her right mind would sacrifice anything for. When I asked one of those poor deluded feminists about their acceptance of FUCKING QUEERS, she responded by saying she judged a man by his personality, not his sexual preference! This is what we’ve come to, people! The average citizen of America is no longer able to see the FUCKING QUEERS for the perverts they so obviously are. Judgement Day cannot be far off, my brothers, and frankly I consider that a blessing not a curse. The stupid woman also told me that she felt safer around FUCKING QUEERS more so than normal men. This is because FUCKING QUEERS are not likely to assault or rape her. Oh yeah? Oh yeah? Well in Gods eyes its almost infinitely better to be a stalker or a rapist than a FUCKING QUEER!

Spongebobs best friend is Patrick the starfish. Patrick is pink. Patrick is pink even though real life starfishes are orange. What does the colour pink represent? Little girls and FUCKING QUEERS! Patrick is not a little girl, therefore he is a FUCKING QUEER!

In one episode of the show, Spongebob gives Patrick a valentines day card to show how much he “loves” his best friend. The producers said that they wished to show how important platonic “love” is between two men and how you should never be ashamed to express it. They said they showed this for the benefit of kids. Yeah right. As I’m sure we all know, there is no such thing as platonic “love” between two men of this earth permitted by God. Brothers, the only love for another man that should be harboured in our hearts is between us and the Divine God Jehovah, the Creator of us all, or between us and Jehovahs Blessed Son, the Living Christ Almighty. From this, we have to conclude that Spongebob and Patrick are live-in lovers. From this we have to conclude that they are FUCKING QUEERS!

Spongebob is a sponge and Patrick is a starfish. In the natural world both of these creatures reproduce asexually. This means that any member of the species can mate with any other member of the species, and still produce offspring as a result. While this may seem strange to us, we must remember the Righteous LORD knows everything. If he chooses to make these creatures continue their species in this manner, then by definition this is the only way they can do so. All else would be an Abomination unto the LORD. However, Jehovah had much different ideas while designing human beings. He made it so that the only way possible for us to experience the delights of child-rearing and having a small creation of our very own to nurture and guide through life, was through the practise of heterosexuality. He did this for a reason. He did this because any other way would be an Abomination that leads us to the bowels of that dark, dark place known as Hades or Hell, where we would all be cut off from the Divine Love of our Creator for all eternity. All should bow before the Wisdom of Jehovah, whose Love is so great that he grants mercy to poor ignorant sinners like ourselves, who clearly do not deserve any provision in the Afterlife, whatsoever. These are mere cartoon characters, characters who represent mere animals as well at that, but they act towards themselves and their surrounding environment as if they were people. I cannot that clearly enough dear brothers, they act as if they were real human beings. If our dear sweet innocent little darlings see their beloved heroes engaged in a homosexual relationship, then they will attempt to emulate them. They will attempt to emulate them. The darling creatures who were once our entire lives will be turned into monsters so dark and terrible that we will no longer recognise them, let alone understand them. Our children will have been turned into FUCKING QUEERS! And we all know where people like that will end up, now don’t we?

At this point I have to say, with a very heavy heart my brothers,
Quod Erot Demonstratum.

(Wild applause fills the hall, punctuated with such comments as “Preach it like it is, revrund!”, “We have to stop those commie homos before they destroy us ALL!”, “Won’t somebody please, please take the time out of their lives to think of the children?” and “Poppa? Is mah momma mah sistah?”)

(At the time of writing, the police are currently investigating a mass murder of 42 homosexuals at a gay pride march in San Francisco.)

THE END
(You wish)

Monsters in world. We dem.

Church=cult.

Now perspective. Church not bad. Not yet. Maybe one day tho. Now discuss. If not want kill VD dat is.

Please sorry, ramblings fool.

[Slade]

Ug. Dis old news. Jon Stewart report in January about gay Spongebob.

And it's not fair to say the church is a cult, except for Catholicism when tithes were involved. It's people who take the teachings as an excuse to reinforce their ignorant and irrational fears. Some day I'm going to say that the Bible says it's OK to shoot bigots in their faces. Jesus preached love and tolerance, not hate and stupidity.

I'm not a monster, or some kinda robot. This looks like it should be screening room material though, mate. Or at least belong in its own topic.

[Voodoo Dog]

oo! oo! VD fill in blanks!

VD see rantings of James Dobson in news last night. VD miss first time. VD hate stupid slow Irish media. VD laugh hysterically. VD start thread. Thread called "Freudian interpretations of movies." VD hope nice people enjoy it. VD do funny post spongebob=gay. VD laugh hysterically. VD get worried. VD struck by fullblown horror. VD realise it not a joke, there are people in world like dis. VD rewrite post as horror story. VD post here.

VD not mean all church are evil. VD mean all church are potentially evil.

VD not mean church=cult. VD mean no differ tween organised religion and cult. Not mean church evil. Not yet. Potential dere tho. VD think seeing religions as cults is wrong. VD think it same as seeing hard working honest african americans as evil nigger heathens.

VD not mean all people are monsters. VD not think all people in world evil. VD think all people in world deep down are evil. VD think church right about original sin. VD think everyone tries to help, but end up hurting world.

I AM NOT AN ANIMAL! I AM A HUMAN BEING!

[floppydisk]

No, your a dog. Just like I'm a little peice of metal and plastic.

[Slade]

And I'm an anthropomorphic rat with kleptomania.

And now I understand, VD. Rise my son, and let me lift from you your lack of prepositions, pronouns, and proper verb tense.

And there shall be falsely-intelligent statements from me after class tonight.

[Voodoo Dog]

VD keep talking like caveman. VD can't help it. VD hit by strange flying reverse space monolith from jupiter. VD deevolve. VD stupid name. VD thinking of changing name to Ug. Ug like Ug.

Ug worried. Ug meant KKK post to be horror/satire. Now Ug think he wrote convincing propoganda for KKK an neo-nazis. Ug terrified it will be his fault for death of nice gay black woman jew asian communist liberal. Ug wish he not write in first place. Ug think noone actually evil, not even Klan. Not even Thrawn. Everybody do dere best to help world. Everybody do dere best to help world and end up hurting world instead. Ug think poor world bleeding from all the hurt. Ug think poor world screaming from all the hurt. Poor poor world. Ug like world. Ug not want see it hurt. Sometime Ug think all ideology is bad. Sometime Ug think all ideology of heterosexuality homosexuality liberal conservative feminism traditionalism neonazi/KKK black panther all bad as each other. Ug think people kill people no matter how they try to help poor sweet dying world. Ug think we will kill people no matter how we try to help poor sweet dying world. Ug ashamed to be Ug. Ug now think sentience a curse. Ug now think human beings evil. Ug think humans should give world back to animals. Hi nice animals. Animals not sentient. Animals not evil. Humans sentient. Humans evil. Ug like nice animals. Animals kill each other. Animals hurt poor sweet dying world. Animals not kill each other with genocide napalm racism sexism homophobia conquest crusades religious mania atheism character asassination anthrax nerve gas ak 47s. Animals not hurt poor sweet dying world with pollution green house ozone hole enviroment destruction over population. Animals not evil. Animals not monsters. Humans evil. Humans monsters.

Monsters in world. We dem.

This post has been edited by Voodoo dog: 04 May 2005 - 09:52 PM