[barend]

*beats up random orphens*

[Slade]

*Slade is about to make a speech when he is approached by a group of lawyers representing the various establishments. He covers the microphone with his hand and talks quietly with them for a while. After a moment, the discussion gets heated, and one of the lawyers pulls a gun on Slade. Sadly, the lawyer is a level 1 with no weapons training, and is literally disarmed by Slade's sword. The other lawyers run away, yelling jargon about ipso facto ad hominem counter-lawsuits or something, and Slade steps up to the podium, megaphone in hand...

"There is a specter haunting New York City, and that is Gozar the Gozarian. However, three actors from Saturday Night Live and the writer are dealing with it on top of that apartment building, so no one panic. Anyway, where was I? Ah yes.

As the history hitherto of class struggle and modern bourgeoise society... Class antigonisms... Feudal something of oppression... Serfdom... Bourgeoise... Tattering Feudal society... And victory for the Proletariat!" At every pause there has been cheering up to this point. The crowd grows silent. Slade looks around for a moment before replying "That's you!" The crowd goes wild.

"It seems that some capitalist fat-cats dislike the idea of the working class revolting. They foolishly say that wage increases mean that all of the prices would increase due to increased spending, and more people would flock to work, thereby causing the employers to offer reduced wages again. We all know that it is a lie, and their only concern is that there would be less money for them to buy yahts large enough to play 18 holes of golf on while the oppressed minoritys are forced to be waiters and caddies for ten cents an hour! That is why, my brothers and sisters, I have been stalwart in my negotiations with the establishments in this city, and refuse to accept any less than the return of wenching and reasonable rates for the oppressed working class! We refuse to be Slaves, and you will recognize our Otherness! As Hegel, Engels, Marx, and HoffmarN as my witnesses, we will not rest until our demands are met!"

Slade is met with thunderous applause, and when it has died down to a dull roar, he begins to chant "We want wages and wenching!" repeatedly. His following has grown immensely, as disgruntled workers and lazy gits alike flock to his banner. All of NYC now knows the black rose and fedora flag, and people continue to join the massive throng.*

This post has been edited by Slade: 30 September 2005 - 01:46 AM

[Wayne]

Would anyone like some DELICIOUS FLAPJACKS??

[Zatoichi]

<OOC> I know you guys said to let you do the storytellingish stuff, but after Slade's post I couldn't resist doing this. It just popped into my head. It's a cutscene that doesn't directly affect you immediately</OOC>

A large meeting hall located in one of the towers in NYC

It is a dreary dimly lit room. There is a very large meeting table with microphones on each chair. All around the room are viewing sceens with a live feed from various cameras across the city. There are also TV screens showing various world and business leaders. Many others walk into the room. Some of the people are those thought to be dead, decrepid, or long out of the veiw of the public.

George Bush senior: Ladies and gentlemen, I have called this meeting because it seems that someone is getting the people to protest en masse. We must put an end to this at once. Before any others start getting ideas. Let's hear everyone's thoughts on this.
Dubya: Daddy if your here why did I have to come?
GBS: Because you're the president, now shut up and pay attention.
Nixxon: Let's just Nuke'em to kingdom come.
GBS: Were in NYC, the revolt is taking place in NYC. Why would we nuke ourselves? Disregarding the fact that it is NYC we're talking about, and could probably blame it on terrorists anyway.
Nixxon: Never mind, I just thought it would be fun to do.
Reagan: We could say that this is the cause of our high national debt.
GBS: My son may have been placed into the office twice, but I don't think that the people could possibly be that stupid.
Reagan: I was elected too.
GBS: Good point.
(Dubya starts drolling onto the table)
Martha Stewart: Why did you have to try to ruin my good name by sending me to prison
GBS: Oh shut up, you know that it was a publicity stunt. That's why you're now doing two TV shows. Can we please stay on topic.
Conda Lisa-Rice: We could send agents to gun down the crowd and then cover it up.
GBS: Keep your trap shut Lisa. I told you to keep quiet before the meeting.
Anyhow everyone knows that you started out poor and love to deny it. So just don't open your slightly filthy mouth.
Kerry: This wouldn't have happened if you had let me be the president!
GBS: Yeah, but it's a hellova lot funnier this way.
Kerry: Still ...
(There is a pool of drool at Dubya's seat, and it has begun to drip all over him.)
GBS: Augh! Cheney take my son and get him cleaned up now!
Dubya: Hey Dick, what does stra-tee-jury mean?
Cheney: (To himself) Sometimes I really hate my life.
Michael Jackson: Hey George I could :censored: :censored: :censored:.
Everyone: Oh God no!
GBS: That is just wrong.
Bill Gates: We could take away their internet and television.
GBS: That's how we keep'em all in line. When will you realize this?
OJ: If I just assassinate their leader while wearing a pair of gloves that don't fit ...
GBS: Yeah, and we could give into their demands and even redistribute wealth so that everyone lives happily ever after. We could do away with the electoral college and have everyone's vote actually count. We could stop gouging prices to make ourselves more money that we don't actually do anything with.
Tony Blair: Brilliant!
(Tony gets thrown out the nearest window)
Tony: (while falling) This is what I get for being such a kiss ass.
Donald "The Donald" Trump: I could fire them all.
GBS: Excellent idea. This meeting is add-jorned. Good night everyone.

GBS goes into a side room that has a lone figure inside and kneels to it.
GBS: The meeting went well my master.

[Emu]

*re: having mobsters thrown at me: *

Ow, that was my funnybone! *My mannequin cover being blown, and having the element of surprise on my side, I flip out and knock most of the mobsters unconcsious, stopping only when I notice everyone's gone quiet to listen to the speech.*

[Slade]

<OOC>One x in Nixon. There's also the palindrome "No x in Nixon". And it's Condoleeza "Gap Tooth" Rice. And do they really think they can fire almost all of NYC's workers and not have everything come to a screeching halt? I mean...</OOC>

*As more workers flock to Slade's banner, still more pressure is placed on corporations. The CEOs of the companies still refuse to reduce their upper management, six figure do nothing jobs, (and in fact hire more out of spite) and stall for time as the hot dog venders leave their posts, the transportation system comes to a halt, and gas stations lay dormant because no one will run the tills.*

[Otal Nimrodi]

Otal puts on the blue jeans. Having acquired the blue jeans, he searches for a purpose to continue his attack. He decides that it's his duty as a pirate to do piratey things, and heads to the cash register. He also takes some spare jeans, just in case he's tickled again.

[floppydisk]

What? Dubya is almost like the mini-boss, then it's the Combine, then... Umm, then we're Space Pirates. (at least, that's how I think it should go)

*bands together with Slade, and seggusts that we riot*

After all, they haven't listened yet! They'll never listen, except to the ultimate authority! Violence! Violence is the only way to change things! The idea that violence doesn't solve anything is wishful thinking at it's worst!

RIIIOOOOTTT!!!

[Otal Nimrodi]

Riot! Riot! Riot! *Picks up angry mob supplies from a neighboring walmart*

[Wayne]

*Pours super glue into the locks of every nightlife bank.*

Throw of the chains of ninja oppression!

[Otal Nimrodi]

Charge! Vive Le Revolution! Etc! *Runs in circles* *Runs into wall*

[Zatoichi]

<OOC>Alright, it's been five days, I suppose I'll have to do that DM motivation thing again</OOC>

*Dubya gets on a podium and gives a speech. It confuses and rests the fears of the public and they begin to go back to what they were doing before. As usual Dubya sounds really dumb whilst giving the speech. Intelligence of all within earshot drops by 2 for two days*

*Donald "The Donald" Trump lands in a helicopter onto the street nearby. It is obvious that he intends to do you all harm. "The Donald" readies his toupee of unconvincingness - gains AC +6 and is immune to most magical damage (not effects. Changed it around a bit so that there wouldn't be so much slaughter on his part)*

*Michael Jackson also appears on the scene. He starts to do the moonwalk - dodge bonus to AC +5.*

<OOC>Figured it was about time for another boss battle. So here is one with multiple bosses. Enjoy</OOC>

[Emu]

*hides in a tree and flings a rubber band at the top of The Donald's head, sending his toupee flying.*

[floppydisk]

Michael Jackson?!

*leads rioters toward MJ*

PS: http://www.zooass.co...neverland.shtml

[Wayne]

My health teacher played "Man In the Mirror" today, and when Michael Jackson got to the part about kids on the street with nothing to eat, I was like "I know something Michael Jackson could feed those kids."