[Jen]

Oh, come now, MC! A middle-aged man with a paunch is a suitable match for ANYONE!


Civ2 -- I agree with you. In totum!

[Madam Corvax]

Oh, come now, MC! A middle-aged man with a paunch is a suitable match for ANYONE!  

But doesn't it strike you as odd that a middle aged woman with a paunch is a suitable match for hardly anyone...

This post has been edited by Madam Corvax: 20 May 2005 - 12:57 PM

[Kirby]

But doesn't it strike you as odd that a middle aged woman with a paunch is a suitable match for hardly anyone...

Don't worry MC you'll find your gold digger someday.

As for the phisical things, my major thing right now is that you must be female to date me. Right now I have hit onto a bit of a lonely period so I can't really be picky at the moment.

Kdogg: you are now my hero

[Laughlyn]

Heh, Just present yourself as friendly and available Kirby, sooner or later options always arise. (Or become a bartender, then they have to speak to you )

Physical appearance shouldn't be a factor in dating\attraction, it's a lot easier for someone to change their body than to change their mind. Unless they're junkies however, in which case it's a no go from the offset.

[civilian_number_two]

Civ2 -- I agree with you. In totum!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hooray! I knew I could win you back! Laura's another story, of course ... and this MC ... man she don't hold back!

I'm going to try to change the topic by resorting to an old standby. We've done it before, but what the heck: I know a woman who went on one of those "speed dating" things, where you meet dozens of people and talk to each of them for about 5 minutes. She met more than 30 men for quick chats. When I asked her about it, about all of the men she found interesting, or at least vaguely, she was able to tell me little more about them apart from what they did for a living.

Here's why boys are better than girls: we're all superficial, but at least we men are superficial about looks. You gals don't even know what to be superficial about! Seriously, who cares what a person does for a living? If I'm asking a woman that in the first five minutes, it's because the small talk is failing! Yeesh, what is this, a date or a job interview?

[Madam Corvax]

And, pray, what do you ask a woman on the first date? Whether she gets her botox regularly and whether she uses vax or laser for her legs?

I can't see anything wrong in asking what do you do for a living. Usually this is the subject of dinner conversations in most marriages. If you do not give a hoot and don't show any interest in what your partner does for a living, I can't see the relationship as lasting very long, unless you both agree on some rule that no job talk at home.

I mean, would you go out with a cleaning lady or a factory worker? I mean, be honest with yourself. This is basic sociotechnique. You choose your partner usually at school or at work so necessarity you have limited pool to choose from the very beginning. Doctors marry doctors and dentists, accountants marry accountants, engineers marry teachers (or lower medical personnel) simply because these are groups with unequal sex representation and the level of education is more or less the same.

Sorry, Civ, but this is what I would ask if I had a stable relationship in mind.
And from experience, I would never go out with a scientist, or bus driver, a sports couch, to name but a few profession. Call me shallow, but at least I would not reject a relationship due to a factor which is so easily amended as leg hair.

[Jen]

Is it so much better to say, "I met a blonde, two brunettes and a chick with big boobs" than, "I met a stockbroker, a lawyer, and 3 freelance writers"? What on earth are you supposed to find out about someone in 2 minutes except what they do for a living, their name and possibly age, and what they look like? MC is right, someone's job tells you just as much (or just as little) about them as how they look!

Besides, I bet the information was volunteered, rather than asked for. What else do you say when you intropduce yourself to someone with whom you're giong to talk for 5 minutes than, "Hi, my name is X, I'm X years old, I do X for a living and I like long walks, candlelit dinners and bitching about George Lucas"?

[Kirby]

Saying 'I met a stockbroker, a lawyer, and 3 freelance writers' would make me look like a gold digger. And I'd rather be shallow than be a leach.

I guess it's yet again a double standard. Men compare women by looks and women compare men by money/power.

[floppydisk]

ZING! The ladder theory in action!

[Slade]

Bamf!

Ms. Corvax: Sociotechniques? Pff. I know nothing of social techniques, I wing everything and see what happens. Sure, it's usually nothing, but I've never taken to standard sociability very well. There's nothing I find more boring and atrocious than having to put up with small talk if it doesn't go well quickly. And if I know it's never going to go anywhere (like talking with adult neigbors while I'm walking the dog), I'd rather avoid the whole stupid business.

Edit: And not dating someone due to a generic profession is just as much of a lack of compromise as anything anyone else has said. Although certain types of people sometimes go to certain positions, you should really still give the person a chance first. It's all about compromise, I say. Mr./Mrs. Right doesn't exist. You just need to find someone who you think you can get along with well enough to not slit his/her throat while he/she sleeps for as long as possinble.

This post has been edited by Slade: 21 May 2005 - 04:55 PM

[Jordan]

People date other people because they're either lonely, desperate, or horney.

Jobs, looks, etc.. are all important aspects which need to meet a minimum standard, as according to each individual.

For instance, an ugly homeless bum is at the bottom of most peoples list. A good looking doctor may be slightly higher.

Jobs say a lot about people. It can tell you how ambitious they are, intelligent, what their interests may be, finanicial situation etc..

I think most women care about a man's job because they think about the future and want a safe enviroment to have babies in. Like a bird or something. I think men care about shaved legs because we dont' want to be in bed with a girl with hairy legs. Not because society says so, but because we have hairy legs and they looks like shit on us, how much worse on a female?
--

I think women should shave their legs, if they want to be with me. If I asked and then they flat out refused, that would really piss me off. I've gone out of my way to accomodate GF's, it's not asking much I think.

[civilian_number_two]

Call me shallow, but at least I would not reject a relationship due to a factor which is so easily amended as leg hair.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

MC, I guess what you're saying here is either that I am shallow, or that you would shave your legs if asked to. I'm not sure. I agree, anyway, that it is "easily amended," which is why I wouldn't date a woman who WOULDN'T do it - not, as some want to extrapolate, if she didn't have time. And yeah, I'm older than some people here, so I guess it's relevant to say I've never dated anyone who used Botox. If I were obsessed with youth, I'd date younger women.

And yes, honestly, I would date a factory worker, or a cleaning lady. Or a security guard, a kindergarten teacher, a gardener, a scientist or a wildlife relocator. Understand, I'd probably have to meet her at a film festival to think we had anything in common. I think it's generally a bad idea to date people you meet at work, unless your work isn't all that important.

Jen, of course you're right, and of course I was exaggerating when I said men were all just superficial regarding looks. However, I still say looks are at least something to be attracted to! What the hell is a job? You might as well try picking up men using the yellow pages!

My beef with my speed-dating friend was she couldn't tell me what these guys were interested in, whether they had kids or pets, or what cities they grew up in, when I asked her. Either she met some pretty shallow guys, all thirty of them, or she only asks people about their jobs. And since we're on it, those are the sorts of things I ask people about when I meet them: what they're interested in, whether they have kids or pets, what city they grew up in. If I have time, I ask them what they do for fun, what they read, what movies they like. If they're really cool I'll narrow these categories down, like who are their favourite authors, or actors, or directors. I'll definitely ask them whether they went to college and what they studied if they did. I'm trying to find women I'll get along with. I have enough of my own money; I care fuck-all about "sociotechnique."

You may be right, of course, that the men she met had no plan going in and their jobs were all they could talk about. Yawn. Unless I met a gal who was a test pilot for NASA, had I come back from an evening like that, you bet your ass all I'd have to say about them would be "blonde, brunette, one with big boobs."

[Madam Corvax]

Basically, Civ you are saying that you would date a cleaning lady if she happened to be at a film festival. Great, but there are no such people. Or maybe it works in a different way in Canada. In Poland cleaning ladies do not go to film festivals.

If she is a cleaning lady interested in films she would not be a cleaning lady. At least in Poland.

And I am not talking about money, don't get me wrong. Money have nothing to do with it. It is about sharing basic interests, just as you said. Odds are that factory workers and cleaning ladies don't share your interests in films.

So if you're saying you don't meet your long-term partners in work or at school then where do find them? Oh, I see, that is when these five minutes dates were invented.

This "sociotechnique" may not be a term used in English, I realized that now. It had something to do with sociology, I am not an expert, I've only heard about it. It was basically about people marrying within their professions and with people with more or less the sme level of education. Example - I have a pretty good picture about my colleagues at work. About 80% of wives of engineers are schoolteachers, the rest are nurses and medical lab technicians. It cannot be coincidence. I believe there is a lot to it. Therefore, if you did not make your choice at college, or at work, you have to relay nowadays on 5 minute dates. Ir internet, come to think of it

[kdogg]

I think it all depends on when the relationship starts. My girlfriend's dad is an engineer and her mom works in a factory-type place, but they met in their early twenties before he became an engineer. If two people meet later in life, their professions and lifestyles may play into it more as people tend get set in their ways.

Also, in the US, it is quite plausable for a person with a low-paying job to enjoy film festivals and the like. I would blindly speculate, however, that many of these people's parents had higher paying jobs than them.

[barend]

"Hi, my name is X, I'm X years old, I do X for a living and I like long walks, candlelit dinners and  bitching about George Lucas"?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

there's a subliminal message in there... [x x x]
she's saying: " I'm a porn star "

------------------------------

overall i very stongly agree with the essential point of what civ is saying here...

a large majority of women do see innapropriatly focused on a level of income and mode of automotive transport....

the fact that women tend to go to so much effort to dress in provocative attire and paint them selves in make up to highlight the lips and eyes, and cover all signs of aging or imperfection, seems to indicate that women WANT to be noticed on a so-called superficial level.

at least that is personal...

people rarley work exactly where thay belong. there are a lot of interesting people stacking shelves in supermarkets, serving mcdonalds and kfc, etc.

but if these guys went to a speeddating service i'm sure they'd walk out depressed and alone.

i do juge people on their appearance... but i tell you what... there is nothing superficial about it. when i notice a girl i can tell a lot about her. the face for example is a map of exp​ression. there are many muscles in the face that develpoe intependant of hereditary genetics... the way you talk, they way you laugh, the abundance of one facially expressable emotion over another all shapes you face by adulthood and beyond. the way a person look around a room or out a window, can tell you alot about them... the way someone walks can even reflect on their personality...

a spectacular body is more like finding a place with a pool when house shopping...

what someone does for a living tells you nothing about them unless they say it with stupid pride...

"hi, what miserable form of slavery did you manage to fall into, to finance the cost of living?"

nice, girls.... nice.