[Just your average movie goer]

So can Kiwis. They just can't say the short "i" sound. There's a good joke about that....

A Kiwi (in a shop): "I'd like some fush'n'chups please."

The guy behind the counter: "You're a Kiwi, aren't you?"

The Kiwi: "How did you know?"

The guy: "Because everyone else says fish'n'chips. Look, I'll give you them today but the next time you come here, try to say it right."

5 years later...

The Kiwi (in the same shop): "I'd like some fish'n'chips please."

The guy behind the counter: "You're a Kiwi, aren't you?"

The Kiwi (a little confused): "How did you know?"

The guy: "Because this has been a hardware store for the past four years."


(It probably would be best not to share that one with any Kiwi acquaintances ).

[Lord Aquaman]

However, if you're in Australia, SEE this movie if you get a chance.  And also, if you get a chance, see Hercules Returns, the funniest movie ever made.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What is Hercules Returns about? Is it the same thing as Hercules Recycled?

Tell me more about this Two Hands thing.

One critic described Brad Pitt's portrayal of Achilles as "a brazen life guard who'd rather lounge around in the sun than dive into the pool." I think the screenwriters actually tried to make Achilles more sympathetic by having him fall in hollywood love with the Rose Byrne character; I thought he was supposed to be sympathetic in the poem because he saw the merits of Hector's lifestyle AFTER killing him and realizing his own impending doom.

Can you believe that one critic actually dissed Eric Bana's portrayal of Hector? She said that he came across as more of a teenaged kid at his dad's party than a rough and rugged warrior. What an idiot...

The surge of Australian actors doesn't surprise me. There aren't many real men left in America so Americans are stealing them all from overseas, and Australian men are quite unabashedly virile.

[Just your average movie goer]

Hecules Returns is a great flick in where three people are reopening an old theater and on the gala evening, they decide to play the last film that was shown there, which was Hercules. Except a vengeful ex-employer of one of the three characters switches the film on them and gives them an Italian Hercules film with no subtitles. Doing the only thing possible, the guys dub it.... with absolutely HILARIOUS results. I kid you not about it being the funniest film ever... it IS!


Two Hands is the story of a good guy (Heath Ledger) who gets caught up in a bad crowd. He does a small delivery job for them but loses a lot of their money and they want it back. The main character has to figure out a way to come up with the money, while at the same time, the impatient bad guys try to get revenge. There's another subplot that carries through the movie when the bad guys of the peace accidentally kill some girl's little brother and the girl seeks her own revenge. I think Rose Byrne was Ledger's love interest in the movie. It's been a while since I've seen it though. Short spoiler - it has the greatest bank robbery scene in any film I've ever seen.

The surge of Australian actors doesn't surprise me. There aren't many real men left in America so Americans are stealing them all from overseas, and Australian men are quite unabashedly virile.

Why, thank you.

[barend]

NED KELLY (AKA THE KELLY GANG)...
[Heath ledger, Geofrey Rush, Orlando Blume, Naomi watts, Joel Edgerton]

did this movie get released in the states... It didn't do as well here as i thought it would... it a great movie, i love it... but has it been distributed over there yet...?

check it out, if so...

and keep an eye out for a girl in it called Saskia Burmiester, she played Jane Jones (riding on back of horse in opening scene, and waiting at station in last third of the film)... and this ridiculouisly gorgrous young lady is one of my best friends little sister...

[Just your average movie goer]

Well you better hang onto that friend then.

[Madam Corvax]

Strange thing happened to me two weeks ago.

I was going back home from college, on Saturday evening, as usual dreading the awful journey home on a Polish train.

The station nearest to the college is a really grotty, horrible, smelly place, but people set up their stalls selling things in the subway passage leading to the platforms. I wanted something to read and there was this man selling cut-price outdated magazines. I spotted a pile of cheap DVDs and started to root through them and to my amazement I came across a TROY DVD, for the price of slightly more than ONE DOLLAR.

The cover said it was issued in Asia and it looked genuie enough. I asked the man if it really is a DVD, he said yes, and the problem with it is that it is in original version, i.e. without Polish subtitles. Of course I bought it and took home, fearing that it might not be compatible with my computer (i.e. it might be different DVD region), but it was roth trying for that ridiculously low price.

And to my amazement, it WORKED.

So, there are some advantages of living in a really horrible place, like getting your DVDs cheap.
I just thought I would share this bizzare experience with you.

And I liked the film. The fight scene between Hecot and Achilles was awesome.

[Lord Aquaman]

I know I'm in the minority here, but the Hector VS Achilles fight didn't really do much for me (possibly because I already knew that Hector was doomed to lose). I found the fight between Hector and Ajax to be more fun.

I kind of wish they'd gotten Karl Urban for the Achilles role... Brad Pitt didn't really blend in.

Who feels like starting a Troy pants game? I'll go first -

ACHILLES MOM: "If you stay in Greece, you will find pants, but no one will remember your name. If you go to Troy, you will find glory, but you not return, for your pants walk hand in hand with your doom."

PRIAM: "I have fought many wars in my time. Some were fought for land, some for power, some for glory. I suppose fighting for pants makes more sense than all the rest, but I won't be the one fighting."
PARIS: "The pants of Troy?"
PRIAM: "My father wore these pants, and his father before him all the way back to the founding of Troy... wear them tomorrow. The spirit of Troy is in those pants. So long as a Trojan wears them, our people have a future."

PARIS: "Don't let Menelaus hurt her [Helen]. If he-"
HECTOR: "You think of your pants, and his pants, and nothing else."

TROJAN SOLDIER: "My prince, we have them on the run!"
HECTOR: "We're in range of their pants! Have our men gather our fallen, send an emissary to the Greeks. Tell them they can collect their pants."

DRUNKEN GREEK SOLDIER #1: "What's this - a virgin's pants?!"
DRUNKEN GREEK SOLDIER #2: "She won't be needing those for much longer!"

ACHILLES: "I could have your pants on a spit in a blink of an eye."
PRIAM: "You really think pants frighten me now? I watched my eldest son die, watched you drag his pants behind your chariot."

PARIS: "These are the pants of Troy. So long as a Trojan wears them our people have a future. Wear them, Aeneas!"

[Vwing]

I would do this but I don't remember any of the lines from it. I think since I blocked all of Pitt's lines from my memory the others have been forgotton as well.

[Lord Aquaman]

Well, here's a painful line I'll have to bring back.

ACHILLES: "Play your tricks on me, but not my cousin."

becomes

ACHILLES: "Play your tricks on me, but not my pants."