[Vwing]

Jordan, you're right, but take this with a grain of salt, they are well-written and amusing pieces. I still say that anyone who can actually take all these different ideas together, and we're saying here that he used about 100 different sources, and put them in an original fantasy setting and make them into one coherent, entertaining story should get a load of credit and respect. Tarantino uses other sources, but he is able to use them, put his own touch on them, and make unique, great films. That's what Lucas did with Star Wars.

[HK 47]

Do you guys remember why the OT was a huge success? One of the main reasons was that people had never seen anything like it before, it was totally unique at the time. Ralph McQuarrie and the other designers working on the film outdid themselves designing the Star Wars universe. Look at it. There is also a reason why they wanted a lot of it to feel familiar. It is easier for the audience to comprehend an alien galaxy if you recognize parts of it. And they succeeded admirably.

Claiming that the OT (and please note I'm only speaking about the OT) is plagiarism is rubbish. Almost anything can be picked apart in this way. Original ideas are very rare. Do you think The Matrix was original? It was, it was really a stroke of genius. But the seperate ideas forming the whole were largely based on other peoples work. Just like Star Wars.

[Jordan]

HK and Vwing I agree with. Working with other ideas is a natural process that you do almost unconciously.

[Hannibal]

And now...

formerly, $TAR WAR$ EPISODE 6: REVENGE OF THE MERCHANDISE...

now: RETURN OF THE MERCHANDISE

After a few more years of radio shows and star wars toilet paper and curtain rods and underoos and tampons, George Lucas is ready for another go at it...

George decides to cally Larry Kasdan...

"Larry, you want to make another Star Wars movie...{Sure George anything for you...that last one was pretty good, eh...?} Well Larry, it was okay, not exactly what I had envisioned...didn't I tell you I wanted Han Solo frozen in ice? {Well, I fugured since the beginning of the film was ice, I went sci-fi, and made up that shit about carbonite} But there is no such thing as carbonite...{George, theres no such thing as the Force okay?} Yeah...I'd say there is, you want to see my bank account statements...{Hehehehehehe....} Okie, now were going to continue this thing from the top alright...{I'm ready}....alright, then...I want this film to take place on Tatoine, from the beginning. I want the droids going up to this big building like in Wizard of Oz, and knocking on the door...that freakin puppet movie, that beat out Labyrinth, whats it called, Dark Crystal? Yeah that was a popular deal, I want some really weird creatures okay? Enough to sell maybe 20 action figures, and I want a rock band playing alien music just like in the first one only better, I want chicks with four tits jumping up and down and I want more muppets got it? the droids knock on the door and this giant pig comes to the door, and they are taken to the droid dungeon...{Droid dungeon?} yeah where they torture robots...{George...uh...their robots, you know machines...} I don't care I want people to feel something about these robots, I want them humanized...{So....you want the people de-humanized and the robots humanized...} What people...? {Well, I figured the stormtroopers were masked and dehumanized so the audience could better deal with their deaths..} The stormtroopers are clones baby, their not human , get it...{No...not really...} Look do I have to hire that weasel that worked on the last one and fire you or what? {No I got you...torture droidss....I got it...} Alright then, so they bring a message from Luke about han, and that Jabba must release han or be strangled to death...{Strangled...I got you...} So anyway, Boba Fett is there, Lando is there, and I want Leia to come in with this bomb and try to make a deal, but she gets captured and put in this metal string bikini...{What?} yeah, and Jabba, this giant slug, make sure he's funny...you know, eats frogs or something to amuse the kiddies...{What?} Alright, so then Luke shows up{George...} Yeah {I hate to say it, but you were doing a lot better when you were ripping off Kurosawa films...} Thats passe now, I am a genius, don't you read the papers? i can write any shit and people will love it. {Okay...} So Luke comes in all dressed in black...and he uses the force and manipulates Jabba into letting Han go, and then Luke kills him...{Uhh wait...thats too easy don't you think?} Well, how the hell would you do it, Mr. I Created Star Wars Genius Who is Worshipped By Millions? {Well, all I am saying is that its kind of harsh don't you think, Luke just killing him like that?} Alright then...GOD! You know how much of a pain in the ass it is to think? Now, I am going to have to steal some piece of plot from some other movie for Christs sakes. Alright. Hows about having him fall through this secret hatch in the floor and then has to fight a giant like in Hercules or something...and then he gets out...and kills Jabba. {Still, what about Han, Leia, why is Lando there, what about Boba Fett?} Fuck Boba Fett, it was just a lark anyway, okay, lets have them all walk the plank like in a pirate movie and Luke...{Walk the plank?} yeah...{George there shouldn't be any water on Tatooine} Fuck it, just have these giant hovering pirate ships or something, and then they walk the plank and Luke grabs a rope and swings over and saves Leia...{what about Lando?} Okay, so Lando saves Han from falling into the bottomless pit of tatooine...{bottomless pit?} Yeah, a pit. I like pits, you got a problem with that? {No, okay, and Boba Fett?} Yeah have Boba Fett fly around on his jet pack shooting everything and then you could have him fall into the pit. And then Luke saves Leia...{What happens to Jabba now?} Oh shit, right, ummm...Princess Leia strangles him to death...{George, aren't you worried about the younger viewers, I mean isn't that kind of harsh? Strangulation? I mean he's a giant slug, he's not going to be moving that fast...} Who cares, I want him strangled to death. {Alrright whatever} So they all get to the Millennium Falcon and there's this sandstorm and...{So what about the droids?} Fucking have them picked up with a giant magnet. {Magnet?} yeah a fucking magnet, why is this so hard for you?{Because you're just making this shit up as you go along} So? {okay...} So anyway, they need to head off to the rebel base, so Han and Leia and Chewbacca go in one direction and Luke goes to Dagobah...{We did that in the last one didn't we?} So? I want Yoda to die, and Luke has to be there so I can have a reason to show it on screen...so Luke talks to Yoda and Yoda dies, and ascends into jedi heaven...and then Luke talks to obiwan again...{Obiwan's ghost?} yeah and he needs to talk to Obiwan because Yoda just died, and he needs to learn the truth about who his father is...{Why can't Yoda just become a ghost then, he's dead right?} Dammnit! Alec Guiness HAS to be in this one, because no serious actor wants to be in these films...we have to have some credible actor...{So write something about Obiwan...} Yeah, and anyway, yoda's dead, he disappears so Luke doesn't have to bury him and then Luke goes to meet the Rebel Fleet. Lando becomes a general and they all have to ...{what?} hmmm...I've just drawn a blank...the empire needs to be in this film for some reason...hmm...Darth Vader...hmm....fuck it, we'll just have the rebels blow up the death star again.{What? You mean like something like a deathstar type scene right} No I mean another Death Star...{George thats fucking stupid} I want another death star battle, its what made the first one so popular...so they have to blow up death star II and the evil empereror will land on the death star and I want this scene with all these nazis like in Triumph of the Will again, and the emperor shows up and well...well...he just shows up...{riiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggght} So the rebels steal a space shuttle and fly it to....uhhhh....they pretend to be stormtroopers and...they have to low up a bridge, yeah...they have to blow up this bridge...{On the death star?} Yeah...no wait, no in the woods...{There's trees on the death star this time?} No on this planet of wookies...{Oh, yeah, sounds good...}So they have to blow up this bridge, err....no wait...Navarone! Thats it Navarone! {What?} No so they have this bunker, and they have this power station, and theres this giant force field, and they have to shut down the tractor beam...well...no...this force field so the rebels can make it through to blow up the death star. {Why is on the planet of wookies?} Uh...because I want a big giant forest battle sequence, John Milnius gave me his script from Apocalypse Now, and they never used the ending, I want to use that ending...{So Milnius is working on this picture?} No he just loaned me a copy of the script...anyway, so there's this big forest battle and...{okay, wait a minute here, what ever happened to the plot line of Darth Vader and Luke being his son?} Shut up I'm on a roll here...so Han and the others land on this planet with Robert Shaw and Gregory Peck...[george thats not going to work} yeah you're right, anyway, they land and all the wookies bow down and worship them...they think C3P0s a god! I love it! {What about Chewbacca?} Oh...well, he's a wookie...um...okay right...hold on i got another call...can you hold on?{Yeah} Hello? {George, this is Jim Henson...i was wondering about the royalies from Labrynth...} Can I call you back there Jimbo, i'm in the middle of something...{Oh alright...} Okay I'm back...you know what, i think we'll scrap the whole wookie thing, I mean where are we going to find 30 people who are 8 feet tall anyway? We'll use midgets.{More Jawas?} No...uhh...lets see...wook-eee....wook-e...wook-E...no, I got it, we'll have these little fuzzy gremlins, little care bares you know, and we'll call them Eewooks...[Eewooks?} yeah...and shit, these things will sell by the millions, you remember those fucking cabbage patch kid, people were shooting eachother in Kmarts to get those things...alright so these space-bears who are like little Dersu Uzalas they all make plans to blow up the bridge, err, I mean, station. {Again, what about Luke and Vader?} Dammit!
Okay, so Luke just goes to meet Vader and they fight.{WHAT?} Yeah, he just goes and meets him, like a western...{George thats pretty fucking lame} Well how else am I going to get him from ewokland to the deathstar...{I don't know} Yeah, he'll just give up and surrender, and then Darth Vader takes him to meet the Emperor...and they fight. {On the death star?} Yeah, on the death star...{So what about the rebels, aren't they supposed to BLOW UP the death star?} yeah, Lando and his armada of ships {LANDO? What the hell is Lando doing all the sudden he's a fucking general, a pilot, a bomber? Why ? how/} Who cares, we need to do something with he guy. So they fly at the Death Star, just like the first movie, and I want new ships to sell new toys, and I want more alien rebel action figures, and I want a japanese guy divebombing into the side of the Death Star! {George, kamikazees were on the side of the Nazis, don't you remember?} I want that scene in the film or you die. {Okay} So, Luke and Vader fight, the Emperor eggs Luke on to piss off vader, and so he can watch the fight and make it more interesting...and Vader says something to piss Luke off and {What?} What? {What does Vader say to Luke to piss him off?} Shit I don't know. {George you're story really sucks, I have to tell you. Its just a plotless mash of nothing.} Well, the only other thing I left out of Kamui No Ken was that the girl Kamui saves turns out to be his sister in the end, so why not have Liea become Luke's sister and it'll be all dramatic and shit, and the audience will love it. {You are a twisted man} I make more money than you will ever dream of Lawrence so shut up and say yes.{Yes master}. Now make sure the dialogue is good, because this has to at least work to the end, and at the end of the movie I want that black guy blown to bits and I want...{Lando? The audience will hate you for that!} Fuck Lando, he'll die...{I'll write an alrternate ending okay?} Whatever...and at the end, Darth Vader takes off his mask...{No shit?} yeah, and it turns out to be this old man who looks like a white pale faced guy and Luke forgives him for all he's done and...{What about the Emperor, how does luke get off the Death Star?} Shit, okay, so Vader throws the Emperor into a pit{Another pit?} I LIKE PITS OKAY! IT STAYS! {Shit okay...okay already} And Vader dies, and Luke takes his body and flys to the planet of ewoks....and the death star blows up, and the ewoks sing and dance and the ghosts of the Jedi appear smiling at the end. {George, this isn't going to work...] Why not? because there is nothing from Hidden Fortress in this movie, nothing from any Kurosawa film...unless you count Dersu Uzala...it sucks..} Do what you can, I want those action figures in mass production in no less than 2 months...get to work on writing all that shit about Leia and Yoda dying and make it good I want these people weeping in the theater...{I'll try...}


Next episode...George Returns...and goes all out for plagiarism in:

$TAR WAR$ EPI$ODE I: THE FLATULANT MENACE!

[Despondent]

Can you hear it? it's the sound of one hand clapping in the forest.


d'uh d' d' d' d'uh.
(one enthusiastic thumb up)

I mean, GUILTY!

[barend]

hannibal... i think you'll appreciate this point i brought up long long while ago... a comparison of LOTR to SW...

i posted this about january or febuary so i can't find a link... but here's some of what i laid out...

There’s a bit of role swapping between characters but...

If you compare the story of the LOTR books to the SW:OT you'll see...

First installment:
1.a young hero is suddenly in possession of something belonging to the enemy, who needs to regain it. (It is given to him by a relative).
2.you have this young guy taken out of his simple farm like life by an old bearded man with powers.
3.the 'dark lord sends his elite troops out to our young heros’ home.
4.our young hero is directed to a bar, where types from all over come to meet up, drink and so forth.
5.at this place our young friend meets an older and experienced traveler sitting in a dark corner.
6.this stranger agrees to take him to where he needs to deliver this item he is in possession of. (He takes him out just as the dark lords' men attack).
7.the place to where the item is taken is not where it can be left, so our young hero must take it further and be part of the fight.
8.on their way the group must enter an enormous structure, even though they don't want to.
9.while in there, and after fighting the inhabitants, the older and wiser leader with all the powers falls in battle against a dark foe. (Funnily enough this death somehow makes the old guy more powerful).
10.the rest escape, our hero is quite upset.
11.they meet up with other allies, living in a nice woodland area that is well protected.
12. Here our heroes are given items to assist in their upcoming fight against some rather large numbers. The loss is great but our friends win the battle.

That’s just the first installment. do you want more???
(Was I describing ANH or FOTR above??? you tell me)...

then...

Installment 2.
(Empire strikes Back v The Two Towers)

01.our young hero decides to continue his trip on his own and leaves the group except for his trusty companion.

02.soon after leaving everyone he ends up in a dank place and meets a creepy little (almost reptile) guy with barley any hair and big eyes who has been watching them (a guy who has been alive for a few hundred years).

03.after some argument (mostly with the companion) he takes them through the swamp offering to lead them to where/who they have to get to.

04. the creepy little guy tastes our heros rations and spits it out complain about how it is insufficient and not the kind of food he eats.

05.the little weird guy leads him to a cave and lets him go in. There is something sinister waiting inside for him…

{Meanwhile…}

06.Our older hero (the one met in the bar, who took our young hero part of the way on his journey) travels to a place where an old ally is. The man they seek is the leader of the area.

07.The leader of this area is under the control of the bad guys and makes decisions based on what the bad guys want.

08. the leader of this area brakes free of the evil influence and knowing that there are large numbers of the enemies men on the way, he evacuates the city.

09.some of our separated friends are reunited.

10. we leave this middle installment with a really significant ‘to be continued’ feel, and someone paralyzed (disarmed and covered head to toe some sort of cocooning material) .

Once again another very brief run over the story, but you get the idea…

hmmm… do you think I’ll be able to find any similarities between
RETURN OF THE KING and
RETURN OF THE JEDI

I wonder…
???

[Paladin]

I challenge you to come up with enough orignal fodder to fill up THREE movies. Good f'in luck.

I believe I can do that. But the thing is George has too much balant plagerism in his works. Taking inspiration is OK, taking things word for word... that's something else.

[Mnesymone]

Interesting, to say the least.

I think Jordan was right when she... (damn its hard to guess gender online - I'm going by the picture here and Jordan isn't too uncommon as a female name) ... said that it is natural for people to use older ideas for inspiration.

There are some points when elements of the Star Wars movies go beyond "inspiration", but I still wouldn't call it plagiarism.

For example the Death Star run in Star Wars is almost line-for-line/scene-for-scene from an old black-and-white movie called 'the Dambusters'.

But I think if you had a spirited analysis of anything you'll find it's not entirely original. As they say "there is nothing new under the sun"

Barend, you compare, and accurately so, SW and LOTR - but LOTR was based on the Kalevala (chronicle of Finnish legend). Just as Troy was built on the ruins of the previous Troy and that Troy on the one before it no idea can be said to be entirely original - simply a transmogrification - the older idea, improved.

It is the foundation of literature, of society, of religion, of engineering and of humanity, and ultimately, all life.

But still, Hannibals piece is what it is supposed to be - amusing and interesting.

Good on you, and keep going.

[Hannibal]

Its time for another installment of "The Trial of George Lucas"...

$TAR WAR$ EPISODE I: THE FLATULENT MENACE...

(or "I Ran Out of Any and All Original Ideas so I went PLAGIARISMIC!!!"*)

*I just made up that word by the way...

"I want more farts in this film!"
--George Lucas

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Many years went by and George Lucas built his empire, with dozens of corporations under him, he was ready to on an all out plagiarism binge. While we have seen that it helped with the Original Star Wars:A New Dope, and Empire Strikes Back...and where he cut back on plagiarism in Return of the Jedi:he failed miserably. Will going for broke help him this time, returning to his original methods of writing, plagiarising and directing...we shall see...not an original idea was to be found...but he trudged onward in this precarious trial...

George Lucas began by sitting down at his imported mahoganey desk, with his yellow legal pad and C3P0 crayola crayon...

Hmm...what do I want in this next picture? Farts? Pits? An SR-71 Blackbird and Roger Rabbit..

LATER ON THAT DAY...ACTUALLY ONE HOUR AND 15 MINUTES LATER...

I think I'll give Mcallum a call...

Hey Rickie, I want to run some things by you, I've got the new story and I want you to start taking notes...{Great Georgie, I've been waiting for this...} Is everybody there? {Yeah Georgie we're all here, the ILM Team, John Williams, and the rest of the pre-production staff} Are you able to see me through this goddamn George Jetsun thing? {Yep, coming in clear, looks like you're talking to us from the space shuttle though...}


Alright we're going to begin with the opening scroll credit...{Just like always} the story's about this trade dispute between this evil japanese robot manufacturer and the Planet Rupunzel...{...dead silence...}and then a ship flys by...now I want the
EXACT same shot from the beginning of Predator, where the ship flies past the screen, see if you can come as close as possible to recreating that shot...{are you serious? can we at least reverse the direction of the ship?} Sure that would be fine. okay, so our two heroes in monks robes are on board and on their way to negotiate this commecial protest by these rich democratically elected monarchists...{dead silence again}...okay so on board the slant-eyed aliens ship, the Queen comes on screen--and let me make this clear, I want the EXACT same viewscreen as seen in Flash Gordon...and she complains the negotiators haven't arrived, and so then we switch back to our two Jedi. Now I want Obiwan and Quigley Gin to behave and resembe Red Beard and his Apprentice from Kurosawa's Red Beard...there will be more to follow...Obiwan and Quigfried then land in the Federation Starship and robots look up from what they are doing {ILM GUY: the robots will have eyes and look up?} Yes, as if they had no idea the ship was about to land{ILM GUY: errr...okay sure..} Alritght, so Obiwan and Queeg go in and are escorted by a C3P0 robot with a female voice into a meeting room. now the bucktooth rice-eating aliens debate about the Jedi and what to do with them, Lord Sidvicious is on hologram and tells them to kill the Jedi. So then, our dynamic duo is caught off gaurd by the Joker's gas attack, dioxin...{Wait, dioxin wouldn't kill them immediately...maybe give them cancer...} Did I ask for your opinion...{Uh..no right} So here they use their super-Force ability to hold their breath for long periods of time... The doors close behind them and they are locked in. The Asioids then order their robot troops to move in and kill them. I want some spherical robot-tranformers that roll along the floors like balls and then transform into robots with guns...like from that video game Metal Warriors...so anyway, Qui-gone and Obiwan then melt their way out through the door like in Forbidden Planet, make it look exactly the same...they run down the hall like the Flash, and see a droid army getting ready for war. They then jump from this 50 foot ledge and hop on board a droid battle ship. and they meet up with this alien...okay, now listen carefully, I want this totally done CGI, I want

Roger Rabbit meets Dumb Donald
from Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids...I want the papers to say "George Lucas has done it again, with his revolutionary animated character interacting with real people..." i want this fucking Roger Rabbit to be flailing his arms, drooling and slurring his speech and saying really stupid things so the kids will laugh and giggle...I want some black Stepin Fetchit type actor to play him, and I want this Rober Rabbit guy to be kind of like those Bob Marley People, what're they called, Rassafarlians? {Ratafarians?} Right. Okay, so they meet this Jar-Jar character who takes them to a swamp and to his underwater city. Obiwan and Quuincyjones then whip out these breathing devices like from
Thunderball, that James Bond movie, and {Wait George....hold up....why can't they hold their breath like they did before?} Because I already got Hasbro signed on to manufacture these damn things...[Oh okay} So they go underwater diving {DO they take off those Jedi robes?} No. {Have you ever dived into a pool wearing a bathrobe?} no. {You can't swim} They're not swimming their underwater...{No I mean you can't move} Who cares, who is this guy Mr.Wizard? Anyway, so they get down to the city and it looks just like that underwater city from the ABYSS, and John, are you there Williams?{Yeah Georgie} I want the music to sound just like the track playing in James Cameron's Abyss mixed in with your Star Wars theme crap okay?{Gotcha} Okay so like in the Abyss they walk through this water membrane and they see all these aliens, basically all looking like Joe Camel and Dumb Donald clones, Obiwan and Quint-jim meet up with this fat alien guy and warn him about the droid invasion, but Jar Jar...{What's the name of this alien race?} What?{what do we call these frog-people rastafarians?} Uh...well I was thinking...um...well the pseudonym of the guy who played Dumb Donald was Eric Gunden, and {Did you say Gunga Din? Wow, thats genius...} Anyway, so Jar Jar turns out to be this loser, banned from the underwater city for being clumsy {Did you say he was banned for heresy?} No...CLUMSY...{uhhh....okay...} Anyway, since Quaid-jermaine and Obiwan save his life, he owes them a "Life-Debt" {Mcallum: George isn't that a wookie thing?} What?{Yeah isn't that a Wookie custom, established in...} Fuck all that, I don' read those goddamn novels or....{Yeah but you...} Fuck it, its not a wookiee thing anymore, its a Gungan thing now. So they have to take Jar Jar with them, and so he will annoy the audience...and anyway so they get to the place where the white people live and hire blacks as their servants and body guards...and I want to basically see Dinotopia invaded by big huge ships from that Japanation cartoon NAUSSICA...and {so how did they get from the underwater city to the surface?} Oh they use a little submarine barrowed from the gungans, and they drive around and see all kinds of shit from Captain Nemo or something...and anyway, they get to town and start hacking up battle droids...{Did you say "Battledroids?"} yeah...{Wasn't that a role-playing game back in the 80s?} Yeah I sued em and took the name for myself.{Oh} Okay, so anyway, the Jedis and Jar Jar arrive just in time to help the Queen to safety where they board a giant chrome plated SR-71 Blackbird and take off into space. They are followed by droid fighters and then run out of gas...they have to...{run out of gas?}Yeah something like that, they have engine trouble, whatever...{How about the hyperdrive?} Yeah, goood, just like before I like it...and so they have to escape from the spaceballs and land on our famous desert planet tatttoine. {Just like Spaceballs?} Right. So the queen, Quizmo and Jar Jar and R2D2 go into town on Tattoine and it'll be kind of like returning to Hidden Fortess, with this Samurai, and his bumbling idiot companions and the Princess going into town all inconspicious like and only they're going to be looking for a part for their ship. They will then meet this alien with a giant nose who is a cross between the jewish guy from the Pawnbroker or Shylock and Shiek Ilderim from Ben Hur, make him look like that guy. Totally CGI. {Why the guy from Ben Hur?} Because he's going to sponsor his slave in the big chariot race. So they meet this xenosemite and he supposedly has a part they need, and this is where they meet Anakin.
This scene with Anakin and Padme is going to be like the scenes between the girl and the peasant boy from Red Beard. {So Anakin is a slave?} Yes, a slave. He will win his freedom by winning this pod race. Queezyjeezy will bet on Anakin and use the force to cheat at dice. {Seriously?} Heehhheheh....yeah it'll be funny. I'm thinking of having a bunch of fart jokes on Tatoine too. Maybe Quizzle will fart and Anakin and Padme will giggle. Anyway, so meanwhile, Darth Silleious orders Darth Maul, this guy who looks like the devil in black cloak and ninja clothes, to go down to Tatoine to follow Queball and the Queen with little probe droids. {How does he know where they are?} I don't know. Anyway, there's going to be this big hour long pod-race like in Ben Hur, and an entire new spin off franchise of these toys and stuff from this big race. I don't want to get into all the details, but they'll be a 2-headed announcer and ....well, lets just say its my finest work. Jar JAr during this whole thing will be reciting lines from "Wayne's World" farting and stepping in shit. Basically acting like a demented house nigga who follows Quegobon around saying "yessa massa and mesa vessy vessy stupid." After the pod race a lightsaber duel with Darth Maul and {What about Obiwan Kenobi, what is he doing all this time?} Oh he's basically stuck inside the SR71 with the Nine Virgins and this Black Guy...
{Are you serious}Well there might not be enough time for all that, after all the Pod Race is going to be like an hour or so. So they get the part they need, swindle the alien jew and get on board the SR-71...{how'd they fix it so fast?} {and what about Anakin, he just goes with them, this kid?} Alright alright, this is top secret stuff you are about to hear, so if this gets out I'll have to kill you all. {okay..okay} Basically, Anakin is this immaculate conception, he has no father, and his blood is teeming with these midichlorians, special Jedi microbes in the blood of only Jedis, and once Quinoa-jam discovers this, they think he's the Saviour. {You can't be serious} And so Quamgo-jeb decides to take the boy with him to train him as a Jedi. {Shit man, thats fucking crazy} You're fired. Anyone else? basically, like Kundun, Quinn-jang shows up at the Skywalker hut during a windy brisk day and they are taken in, but little do the Skywalkers know, Quo-vadis is a Jedi and will soon decide if Anakin is the Chosen One. So anyway, we were at the SR-71...{Yeah how'd they fix it so fast?} Yeah whatever Mr.Smartypants, who's the filmmaker here? Who is the director? So there's this scene on board I stole from that Matsumoto movie, Queen Millennia, where the young boy, obsessed with the Queen carves her this piece of lame jewelry which the Queen rediculously thinks is so cute. They then share this romantic moment...{George, this is turning my stomach} Listen Williams, you just write the goddamn music, and shut the fuck up if you ever want to work in Hollywood again.

Stay Tuned for PART II Tomorrow...

[Hannibal]

..like from that video game Metal Warriors...

[Hannibal]

[Paladin]

That was GREAT!! I can't wait till you finish mopping up the rest of the movie... or is that it?

Well, that's very enlightening by any standard... I'll be SURE not to commit such blatant rip-offs in MY works!