[J m HofMarN]

Barend- That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard. If my penis were bitten off my first idea would be to save it so it might be sewn back on. Thusly I would immediately gut the dog that ate it, if in fact a dog had eaten it at all. Now then, as for cutting off the stub to make it look proper I think the guy would be to busy being in incredible pain to even think of this, so I'm afraid your peanut butter-penis-dog theory is ruled out. Also agaisnt your belief is that this man is like 70, not a college student.

Slade- The LSD or hallucinogen theory would make sense but once again this guy is seventy and thusly is not given to partying. It is possible he was drunk however and had some sort of freudian castration complex.

Civilian- I gotta say your theory is the best so far. I was thinking of putting forth a theory that his shady groundskeeper had dressed up as a chicken and made a lot of noise to trick him into cutting off his own penis so that he could lay claim to the silver mine under his house. And he would have gotten away with it if it weren't for us meddling kids!

But no, I'm going to go wit the wife-chopping-toilet theory.

[barend]

Barend- That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard. If my penis were bitten off my first idea would be to save it so it might be sewn back on. Thusly I would immediately gut the dog that ate it, if in fact a dog had eaten it at all. Now then, as for cutting off the stub to make it look proper I think the guy would be to busy being in incredible pain to even think of this, so I'm afraid your peanut butter-penis-dog theory is ruled out. Also agaisnt your belief is that this man is like 70, not a college student.

we're talking about the kind of sicko who was attampting to get head from a dog!!!
who knows what he's capable of...

also... "penut butter"...? ..."college student"...?

that's awfully specific stuff....

is there something you're not telling us?

[J m HofMarN]

Barend- I do give you your first point, though it's still not likely.

Peanut butter college student is from the film road trip where this sort of thing is referenced.

Nope, I've been perfectly clear throughout this whole thing, I just want to get to the bottom of this mystery like the rest of you.

[SimeSublime]

Actually, I agree with Barend. Likely, the hospital staff would tell the press the man's story so that his rather disturbing personal habits won't be made clear to the general public.

[Slade]

You mean... the media is lying to us?!

My life has no meaning anymore...

[J m HofMarN]

Hmmm so it's a cover up is it? The plot thickens. To what levels of the government does this reach? Could the president be involved? It IS an election year after all and covering up potential scandals is all the rage.

[barend]

You mean... the media is lying to us?!

My life has no meaning anymore...

AH HAHHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAH HHEHEHE HEAHAH...

that's great!!!

Hmmm so it's a cover up is it? The plot thickens. To what levels of the government does this reach? Could the president be involved? It IS an election year after all and covering up potential scandals is all the rage.

well bush was the pigfucker, so that rules him out...

this crime has more of clintonesque feel to it...

[Radu094]

well .. for what is worth: http://www.revistapresei.ro

local newspapers describe the (rather unfortunate event) in a slightly different maner. Admitedly, the local Romanian version doesn't make anymore sense than the one Chef' already posted but here goes a reader's digest:

The guy's wife cannot sleep because of the noise one of the chickens made durring the night (question nr1: Aren't chickens supposed to fall asleep at sunset?)

The guy goes outside in his pijamas and slices the chicken's neck in the middle of the yard (chasing the chicken arround the yard, mind you). The slicing motion ends right where it shoudn't ... cutting a small part of the pijamas and a even smaller part of his penis... (question nr2: How drunk must you be to do this? ).

The guy is in so much pain he picks up the skin he just cut off and throws it away.. directly towards an unfortunate dog who just happens to belive the master is feeding him something (question nr3: Really? )


This concludes my news bulleting. thank you for your attention.

[Complicated]

True or False.... this story says alot about male Sex.. (interprit that as you will).... But in all honesty.. it had to be a man... reguardless... becasue.... the sotry would be even less believable if it was a woamn... Can you imagine a story about a woman hacking off her breasts...?.. no... because ... no one could come up with a thoery for that... no amount of drugs... alchol or insanity... could cover that one..why?..... becasue deep down...we all know theres a guy whos probley dumb enough to actually cut off his own meat.. Hell... ive known a few....

[Slade]

Hey, c'mon, give us some credit. We don't all run around saying "I miss my mom." "I miss video games." "I want to be captain of the football team and sleep with all of the cheerleaders." Grunts, then scratches testicles in public.

Survival instinct keeps us from doing stuff that is that stupid, detrimental to ourselves. Especially when in comes to the sex organs. And think of all of the nerve endings that reside down there, and how much it would hurt to have it happen?

Although it's slightly easier to imagine the curve of someone's arm when in chopping motion ending low instead of high, I still maintain this story is bunk.

It's a shame the story is Romanian...

This post has been edited by Slade: 08 October 2004 - 10:54 AM

[barend]

Peanut butter college student is from the film road trip where this sort of thing is referenced.

film?!? what is a film?

Nope, I've been perfectly clear throughout this whole thing, I just want to get to the bottom of this mystery like the rest of you.

that's what a guilty man would say!!!

[J m HofMarN]

Oh very well Barend you've found me out you big muckymuck!

I chopped off that man's penis and blamed the dog! -Insert DUM DUM DUM! sound effect-

[barend]

*overly dramatic perry-mason-juryesque gasp*

*awkward pause*

*faint*

[SimeSublime]

Hey, c'mon, give us some credit. We don't all run around saying "I miss my mom." "I miss video games."

No, we do that whilst sunbathing at the beach.