Some people (I won't single anyone out) believe that the prequels are films worthy of the name Star Wars and find lots of depth and powerful messages in there.
Perhaps they're right... but if so, I think they must have seen different versions of these movies from the ones I saw. However, even if they are, how are we supposed to see these things when Lucas fills these movies with idiocy and stupid visual gags?
Some examples -
Episode I
The dumb Trade Federation aliens, who also provide a derogatory stereotype with their put-on fake Asian accents.
Jar Jar Binks - who spends the whole movie talking in a stupid voice, steps in Bantha shit and gets his tongue caught in something.
The Trade Federation droids, none of which look remotely dangerous and keep saying "Roger, roger" to each other.
Jar Jar Binks doing a somersault dive, while Obi Wan and Qui Gon pull out they magical Jedi underwater gear - out of thin air!
Giant Fish trying to eat each other.
Boss Nass, fat ugly CGI guy, smiling and shaking blobs of saliva everywhere.
"The droid's name is (all together, audience) R2-D2!"
The two-headed commentator at the pod-race, sounding a lot like football commentators from this far away planet called Earth.
Jabba the Hutt falling asleep at the pod-race.
Gungans fighting robots with giant blue beach balls.
Anakin accidentally flying into the main reactor of the droid ship and blowing it up - all by a happy chance.
Episode II
A bounty huter, hires another bounty hunter, who uses a droid, that carries some insects to try to assassinate Amidala.
Bounty Hunter Two, seeing Obi Wan hanging onto her flying droid for dear life, wants to kill him and she has a big gun with a sniper scope. But instead of shooting Obi Wan, she shoots the droid!
Anakin jumps out of an airspeeder and falls 600 feet before catching onto another airspeeder that was moving at high speed. Um... BULLSHIT.
Bounty Hunter One, seeing that the Jedi have caught Bounty Hunter Two, shoots Bounty Hunter Two instead of the two Jedi. Surely Dookoo could have found another bounty hunter instead of this guy?
Obi Wan goes to a 1950s Diner and meets a guy with four arms who has just got off work from Monsters Inc. And that's not the last Monsters Inc. cameo.
Yoda and a bunch of toddlers tease Obi Wan. Hahaha!
Anakin and Amidala play MEGA MAN in a factory.
Threepio goes spinning around on a conveyer belt, looking as limber as Gumby, and R2-D2 decides on the spur of the moment that he can fly!
Threepio swaps heads with an assassin droid and joins the assassin droid army. He says "Die Jedi scum!" Hahaha.
Then R2 pulls his head off and puts it next to his body. He says "I am beside myself." Hahahha! Get it?! Beside myself! A - hahahahah!
Then R2 drags his pieces out of the arena and he says "Oh, what a drag."
I have NEVER been so embarrassed in my life! I felt like disappearing, vanishing under my seat and sneaking out quietly so nobody would know I'd been in the theatre watching THAT rubbish!
Monsters come to kill Anakin, Amidala and Obi Wan - they too are from Monsters Inc. Amidala had Randell assigned to kill her.
Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson comes into the arena and says "This party's over."
Yoda's English gets even more muddled up - "Around the survivors, a perimeter create." So now he chops up the different clauses of his sentences as well. And this is when he is commanding troops! I thought orders are supposed to be direct.
Yoda gets an expression on his face that we should NEVER, EVER have seen... and then goes Kung-fu fighting in Super Grover style.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................. the list could go on and on. It is painful just thinking about it.
The point of it all is, is that if Lucas wants his movies to be taken seriously, then he should not fill them with such unintelligent rubbish. It detracts from any possible merits the films might have.
This post has been edited by Just your average movie goer: 23 August 2004 - 07:50 AM