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Bigger Breasts for Free: Join the Army Saturday, July 24th, 2004

#1 User is offline   Heccubus Icon

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Posted 23 July 2004 - 10:27 PM

QUOTE
Bigger Breasts for Free: Join the Army
Thu Jul 22, 9:15 AM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - The U.S. Army has long lured recruits with the slogan "Be All You Can Be," but now soldiers and their families can receive plastic surgery, including breast enlargements, on the taxpayers' dime.

 

The New Yorker magazine reports in its July 26th edition that members of all four branches of the U.S. military can get face-lifts, breast enlargements, liposuction and nose jobs for free -- something the military says helps surgeons practice their skills.

"Anyone wearing a uniform is eligible," Dr. Bob Lyons, chief of plastic surgery at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio told the magazine, which said soldiers needed the approval of their commanding officers to get the time off.

Between 2000 and 2003, military doctors performed 496 breast enlargements and 1,361 liposuction surgeries on soldiers and their dependents, the magazine said.

The magazine quoted an Army spokeswoman as saying, "the surgeons have to have someone to practice on."

http://story.news.ya...nm/odd_perks_dc

Compliments of your friendly neighbourhood Amber-Nicole.

This post has been edited by Heccubus: 23 July 2004 - 10:27 PM

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#2 User is offline   reiner Icon

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Posted 23 July 2004 - 10:30 PM

Now if I could get a breast reduction....
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#3 User is offline   Cheesehead Icon

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Posted 23 July 2004 - 10:34 PM

I should date army chicks, if you don’t like something about them you can have it changed for free!!

What a deal!!! laugh.gif
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Post icon  Posted 23 July 2004 - 10:35 PM

Stop saying wierd things, you.

Actually, credit that story to Reiner. Everyone meet my boyfriend, Reiner. He's a spaz. smile.gif
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#5 User is offline   K1NGWARREN Icon

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Posted 23 July 2004 - 10:48 PM

yeah, and they're thinking of changing the slogan from "An Army of One" to "An Army of Two".
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#6 User is offline   Cheesehead Icon

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Posted 23 July 2004 - 10:55 PM

Well it would certainly help us raise support for the US in Iraq.

Look at it this way they hate us in Iraq but if we would just send some of our "specially enhanced female soldiers" to Iraq....

They would surely replace the phrase "down with America" with "I love America."
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Posted 23 July 2004 - 11:29 PM

"America's Army: We Really Like Boobies"
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Posted 24 July 2004 - 02:54 AM

Setting: IRAQ

SOLDIER ONE: "HEY! my girlfriend didn't have large enough breasts so i joined the army and now she has large breasts!
SOLDIER TWO: "Smooth, man. Real smooth."
SOLDIER ONE: "I can't wait to get home; it'll be TOTALLY worth it!!"
*EXPLOSION!!!*
SOLDIER ONE: "Oh- oh, nevermind - I'm dead."
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Posted 24 July 2004 - 03:02 AM

They can't afford body armor for the occupation forces (which does make things a lot easier for the resistance I guess) but they can afford titt transforming? Yeah, I hope those things can stop bullets. Then again if you became a storm trooper just to get your nose fixed then maybe a bullet would be the best thing for you. Always have to think about the gene pool I suppose. Another thing that bothers me is that they're trying to let military doctors practice. We all know that military doctor is most often followed by the words mysterious ailments. I'm sure in twenty years when a lot of veteran's breasts start giving orange milk things will get very, very interesting.

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Posted 24 July 2004 - 10:09 AM

QUOTE (J m HofMarN @ Jul 24 2004, 09:02 AM)
Then again if you became a storm trooper just to get your nose fixed then maybe a bullet would be the best thing for you.

Good point. biggrin.gif
QUOTE
The sandpeople had women and children. We know this because Anakin killed them how could he tell? The children might be smaller but I never saw a sandperson with breasts. Did they hike their skirts and show him some leg or something?

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Also, I can see the point of wanting to kidnap a human and use her as a slave, but they didn't. They tied her to a flimsy easel for a month. It's assumed they had to feed and give her water. What for? Was she purely ornamental? I can understand them wanting the droids, you can sell those for a lot of money, but a chick who's only skills are finding non-existand mushrooms and getting randomly pregnant, you're not going to get much.

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#11 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 24 July 2004 - 05:15 PM

ahh... where to start?

firstly, meat 2nd Lt. princess yummyboobs


second...

QUOTE (cheesehead)
Well it would certainly help us raise support for the US in Iraq.


he he he he he he he h, support.

thirdly...

be all you can be but be nolonger a B cup!

fourthly...

will these implants in anyway be tactical? bulletproof? or like the 'FALLOUT2' energy resistant 'phoenix dermal implants'?
maybe offensive, like machine gun jubblies!!!?

fifthly...

they should use clean drinking water so the big busted soldiers can povide refreshment for the male troops.

sixthly (and most important)

it's 'free' not 'for free'
'for free' makes no sense gramatically!!!
sorry, it just bothers me

--------------------------

okay, I'm done...

This post has been edited by barend: 24 July 2004 - 05:18 PM

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#12 User is offline   K1NGWARREN Icon

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Posted 24 July 2004 - 11:00 PM

I, for one, applaud the return of Princess Yummyboobs.
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Posted 25 July 2004 - 05:01 AM

Seconded.
The Green Knight, SimeSublime the Puffinesque, liker of chips and hunter of gnomes.
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
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#14 User is offline   Jane Sherwood Icon

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Posted 25 July 2004 - 10:30 PM

I know I should shake my head and glare in a disapproving manner, but I can't stop laughing.

Heheheh...second lieutenant Princess Yummyboobs... laugh.gif
Check out my crappy drawings!

Chyld is an ignorant slut.

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Posted 26 July 2004 - 08:24 AM

Whats the point of glaring when its all for comical effect. It's like when Morte groans and shakes his head as The Nameless One plays with the Cube Hero.
The Green Knight, SimeSublime the Puffinesque, liker of chips and hunter of gnomes.
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
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