ASK BAREND... - Chefelf.com Night Life

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ASK BAREND... the Bad Advice collumn

#121 floppydisk

The Amazing Bag-Man!

Group: Members
Posts: 5,325
Joined: 24-August 04
Gender:Male
Location:Beyone the Grave!
Interests:Movies. Books. Video Games.
Country:United States

Posted 15 May 2005 - 08:24 PM

Dear barend,

Was Kirby calling my question stupid?

Signed,

QUOTE (Theodor Herzl)

If you will it, it is no dream.

#122 Ninja Duck

Cheer up, emo duck.

Group: Moderators
Posts: 1,912
Joined: 30-October 03
Gender:Male
Location:Thrillsville
Country:United States

Posted 15 May 2005 - 08:28 PM

Dear barend,

How did you get to be so totally awesome?

Your biggest fan,
barend

#123 Kirby

Zzzz

Group: Members
Posts: 1,543
Joined: 06-September 04
Location:Sucked into the gravity of barend's post count
Interests:Geeking out and nerding it up.
Country:United States

Posted 15 May 2005 - 08:29 PM

Dear Barend

How could Floppydisk not know I was refering to his question

Signed
Still bitter today

The Power of Christ Impales You!
- Tagline for Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

You've read it, you can't un-read it. Stay tooned for more
TALES OF INTEREST.
I like to be part of the crowd so I want to say that Icey is the best guy ever

#124 barend

Anchor Head Anchor Man

Group: Crappy News Team
Posts: 11,839
Joined: 12-November 03
Gender:Male
Location:Nieuw Holland
Interests:The Beers of Western Europe, Cognac, and constantly claiming the world would have been a better place if Napoleon had won.
Country:Australia

Posted 15 May 2005 - 08:55 PM

QUOTE (floppydisk @ May 15 2005, 08:19 PM)

Dear barend,

Was OJ guilty?

Signed,
al;dhla;gh

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

dear al;dhla;gh,

yes. yes he was...

how does that make you feel?

he only got away with it because he used to play football. (yeah, that's right... it was never a 'black' thing). when you're a football player you can beat up women in pubs and kill your own wife.

ofcourse she was cheating on him... and would have left him and taken half his cash... so i guess he did the right thing.

your hetrocidal maniac
Barend

QUOTE (Kirby @ May 15 2005, 08:23 PM)

Dear barend

How do you cope with having to listen to stupid questions?

Signed
Bitter today

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

dear sweet bitter today,

you mean, like...
"How do you cope with having to listen to stupid questions?"

yours

ly
Barend

QUOTE (floppydisk @ May 15 2005, 08:24 PM)

Dear barend,

Was Kirby calling my question stupid?

Signed,

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

yes but i zinged him for you, so you wouldn't look too stupid....

QUOTE (Ninja Duck @ May 15 2005, 08:28 PM)

Dear barend,

How did you get to be so totally awesome?

Your biggest fan,
barend

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dear My Biggest Fan,

i eat lots of meat and i hit people.

that's the secret!

QUOTE (Kirby @ May 15 2005, 08:29 PM)

Dear Barend

How could Floppydisk not know I was refering to his question

Signed
Still bitter today

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

this will require more research....

i'll get back to you on it.

Barend

>>The Adventures of Heinrich Von Bastard<< (A Web Comic)

Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |

Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)

#125 Chyld

Ancient Monstrosity

Group: Crappy News Team
Posts: 5,770
Joined: 04-March 04
Gender:Male
Location:Not Alaska
Country:United Kingdom

Posted 16 May 2005 - 10:19 AM

Dear Lord Barend,

Everyone I know is fucking addicted to that audio-visual sack of garbage, "The OC". Killing them leaves me with no drinking partners, so how do I deprogram them all on a budget?

Yours,

A Sole Bastion Of Sanity In A Sea Of Insanity

This post has been edited by Chyld: 16 May 2005 - 10:19 AM

When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.

Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish

#126 floppydisk

The Amazing Bag-Man!

Group: Members
Posts: 5,325
Joined: 24-August 04
Gender:Male
Location:Beyone the Grave!
Interests:Movies. Books. Video Games.
Country:United States

Posted 16 May 2005 - 06:04 PM

Dear barend,

Arrgh, me ass itches, butI only got two hooks for hands! What should I do?

Signed,
Hooky the Hooker

QUOTE (Theodor Herzl)

If you will it, it is no dream.

#127 barend

Anchor Head Anchor Man

Group: Crappy News Team
Posts: 11,839
Joined: 12-November 03
Gender:Male
Location:Nieuw Holland
Interests:The Beers of Western Europe, Cognac, and constantly claiming the world would have been a better place if Napoleon had won.
Country:Australia

Posted 16 May 2005 - 07:29 PM

QUOTE (Chyld @ May 16 2005, 10:19 AM)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dear A Sole...

kill the makers of the OC...

why do you want drink with a bunch of dawson creek muther fuckers anyway?
they're just going to talk about the show when two or more of them are around anyway...

fuck'em.

moove to australia, we'll go drinking, and start fights with those felicity watching freaks!!!

O beligerent one
Barend

QUOTE (floppydisk @ May 16 2005, 06:04 PM)

Dear barend,

Arrgh, me ass itches, butI only got two hooks for hands! What should I do?

Signed,
Hooky the Hooker

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dear Hooky the Hooker,

what are your hooks blunt?

sharpen them up and start scratching!!!

why do you think they make hooks in the first place?

Your stating-the-obvious friend
Barend

This post has been edited by barend: 16 May 2005 - 07:30 PM

#128 Reader

More Important than Coal

Group: Validating
Posts: 1,279
Joined: 06-November 03
Interests:oh, this and that
Country:Nothing Selected

Posted 17 May 2005 - 02:47 AM

Dear Barend

what's the opposite of Mexico?

signed, ....me

"Nothing is real, all is permitted"
- Hassan i Sabbah
"There's nothing wrong with anything."
- Philip J.Fry

#129 BiggSpiffy

Level Boss

Group: Junior Members
Posts: 312
Joined: 12-May 05
Location:My house, on my chair, In front of my computer, staring at my screen
Interests:Mac Daddy Track Cross-Country
Country:Puerto Rico

Posted 17 May 2005 - 04:31 PM

OH MY GOD! I CNAT FIND A GAS PUMP TO INHALE

i really need a gas pump to help me think of a question but i cant find one! please tell me where one is

signed
OH MY GOD IM GONNA DIE!

#130 barend

Anchor Head Anchor Man

Group: Crappy News Team
Posts: 11,839
Joined: 12-November 03
Gender:Male
Location:Nieuw Holland
Interests:The Beers of Western Europe, Cognac, and constantly claiming the world would have been a better place if Napoleon had won.
Country:Australia

Posted 17 May 2005 - 09:27 PM

QUOTE (Reader @ May 17 2005, 02:47 AM)

Dear Barend

what's the opposite of Mexico?

signed, ....me

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

dear ....me,

'Youyyouindie' is the opposite of mexico.

Me -op- You (personal)

'X' -op- 'Y' (co-ordinates)

I -op- You (personal again)

Co. -op- Indie (business/social nature= company (Co.) and Independant (Indie))

thus... YouYyouindie

or Canada, aye.

(or the medeteranian sea... think about it)

the geographiscope
Barend

QUOTE (BiggSpiffy @ May 17 2005, 04:31 PM)

OH MY GOD! I CNAT FIND A GAS PUMP TO INHALE

i really need a gas pump to help me think of a question but i cant find one! please tell me where one is

signed
OH MY GOD IM GONNA DIE!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dear O.M.G.I.G.D

go to your nearst 'gas station' and pour gasoline all over yourself to cleanse away all negative thought, then walk to the nearest constrution site that is using and angle grinder... the bright sparks will keep you distracted from your stress.

your looking at his watch buddy
barend.

This post has been edited by barend: 17 May 2005 - 09:28 PM

#131 floppydisk

The Amazing Bag-Man!

Group: Members
Posts: 5,325
Joined: 24-August 04
Gender:Male
Location:Beyone the Grave!
Interests:Movies. Books. Video Games.
Country:United States

Posted 18 May 2005 - 10:39 AM

Dear barend,

What is the correct way to remove foreign objects from your nose?

Signed,
It kinda hurts, and I want it out of there.

QUOTE (Theodor Herzl)

If you will it, it is no dream.

#132 Icey

n00b

Group: Members
Posts: 2,889
Joined: 06-April 04
Location:Not-Spain
Interests:Being infested by parasites. Fighting members of the Kennedy family, kidnapping the President's daughter. Moaning.
Country:United States

Posted 18 May 2005 - 06:37 PM

Dear Barend

I've been having relationships for several months... Or before baby Alex was concieved. I truly do believe that our relationship is doomed, and have been in that faith for a long long time. I also, yesterday, kissed my boss's sister and I feel no guilt over it as I already plan to break up with Perla. Am I a wicked evil person and do I need a reality check?

Pétur the Worm

#133 Laughlyn

Token drunk

Group: Members
Posts: 2,198
Joined: 18-December 04
Location:Here, probably.
Interests:Who am I? I'm Laughlyn, resident Gentleman B*stard of the highest order of the british empire, A geek who's crawled out of the far side of the abyss to wreck havoc upon his breathren. A closet troll, purveyor of bartender brand advice ( Call me for realtionship advice\general abuse on +447949623581.... Just don't expect me to answer), thinks-he's-artsy person, and occasional Pirate. Interests? What the bloody hell is this? A census?
Country:United Kingdom

Posted 18 May 2005 - 07:19 PM

Dear overlord Barend,

Is it wrong to idolise individuals purely on the basis of their post count?

Signed,
Lowly soothsayer.

I want to go back to the films of the 80's, where plots were simple, and explosions happened regularly....

#134 Chyld

Ancient Monstrosity

Group: Crappy News Team
Posts: 5,770
Joined: 04-March 04
Gender:Male
Location:Not Alaska
Country:United Kingdom

Posted 18 May 2005 - 07:53 PM

Lord Barend,

Its eight hours until my exam, I've done no revision, need sleep, and have become somewhat illegaly intoxicated. Can you slip me anything that might help with Greek Philosophy exams?

Yours,
Red Eyes See No Future

When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.

Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish