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ASK BAREND... the Bad Advice collumn
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#317
barend 
- Anchor Head Anchor Man
-
- Group: Crappy News Team
- Posts: 11,839
- Joined: 12-November 03
- Gender:Male
- Location:Nieuw Holland
- Interests:The Beers of Western Europe, Cognac, and constantly claiming the world would have been a better place if Napoleon had won.
- Country:Australia
Posted 24 October 2005 - 06:55 PM
QUOTE (Otal Nimrodi @ Oct 24 2005, 06:01 AM)
dear Slow fighting train man
like, No.
-Street Fightin' man!
PS IE
42
>>The Adventures of Heinrich Von Bastard<< (A Web Comic)
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
#320
SithAvenger
- Wow, my avatar changed.
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 1,898
- Joined: 06-June 05
- Location:Err... here I guess.
- Interests:The Interests of a Normal Teenager:<br />-Movies<br />-Things that are awesome<br />-Girls<br />-(Good) Tv shows<br />-Doing evil stuff the good way<br />-Videogames<br />-Hangin' with my friends
- Country:Mexico
Posted 24 October 2005 - 07:41 PM
Dear Barend,
Do I have to call you Dear?
Signed,
me, myself and irene.
Do I have to call you Dear?
Signed,
me, myself and irene.
Sorry, you won't be seeing a smartass sig here. Try with the next poster.
#321
barend
- Anchor Head Anchor Man
-
- Group: Crappy News Team
- Posts: 11,839
- Joined: 12-November 03
- Gender:Male
- Location:Nieuw Holland
- Interests:The Beers of Western Europe, Cognac, and constantly claiming the world would have been a better place if Napoleon had won.
- Country:Australia
Posted 24 October 2005 - 07:58 PM
yes to both...
now get some real problems.
now get some real problems.
>>The Adventures of Heinrich Von Bastard<< (A Web Comic)
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
#322
Otal Nimrodi
- Miracle Ghost
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 5,442
- Joined: 26-June 05
- Gender:Male
- Interests:I like my my little pony characters like I like my suspected criminals. Mirandized.
- Country:United States
Posted 24 October 2005 - 08:01 PM
My esteamed colleague.
One of my zombies said to me that you gave him friday off. I was using friday for attacking the castle of King Herkin. Could you please explain to him that as a dead guy he has no rights?
Lord Otal the Dark.
P.S. There's an evilness party coming up, will you be there?
One of my zombies said to me that you gave him friday off. I was using friday for attacking the castle of King Herkin. Could you please explain to him that as a dead guy he has no rights?
Lord Otal the Dark.
P.S. There's an evilness party coming up, will you be there?
Want a Tarot reading?
PM me, we'll talk.
PM me, we'll talk.
#323
Mirithorn
- Expert Misologist
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- Group: Members
- Posts: 2,331
- Joined: 06-July 05
- Location:Over There
- Country:United States
Posted 24 October 2005 - 08:21 PM
Dear Barend,
I keep having these really weird dreams where I'm scared out of my wits- and there isn't a reason. So I run around like crazy, panicking and (it feels like) barely avoiding grisly death at every turn until I wake up. Which takes a REALLY long time. Because I have to wake up maybe four times before I wake up in the real world, and even then, when I have my head on my pillow I can hear the voices and when I close my eyes I can see my dream for several minutes afterwards.... What do these dreams mean and how can I prevent them?
-Person Who Has Weird Nightmares
I keep having these really weird dreams where I'm scared out of my wits- and there isn't a reason. So I run around like crazy, panicking and (it feels like) barely avoiding grisly death at every turn until I wake up. Which takes a REALLY long time. Because I have to wake up maybe four times before I wake up in the real world, and even then, when I have my head on my pillow I can hear the voices and when I close my eyes I can see my dream for several minutes afterwards.... What do these dreams mean and how can I prevent them?
-Person Who Has Weird Nightmares
"YOU'RE MISSING A PERIOD. YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, DON'T YOU? YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU FUCK WITH GRAMMAR? WELL, FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR MISSING PERIOD! I HOPE IT MEANS YOUR SLUTTY, NON-PUNCTUATED WAYS HAVE GOTTEN YOU TEEN-PREGNANT!"
#324
banned
- Level Boss
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 405
- Joined: 05-October 05
- Location:Checked your attic lately?
- Interests:B Horror Movies, Distopian Literature, Cult Rituals, Puppies.
- Country:United States
Posted 24 October 2005 - 09:07 PM
Dear master barend,
Is it alright to be a slightly perverted weird guy with a mental disorder?
Sincerely,
-Lord Otal's Zombie
P.S. If Life were made of apples, could I be an orange?
Is it alright to be a slightly perverted weird guy with a mental disorder?
Sincerely,
-Lord Otal's Zombie
P.S. If Life were made of apples, could I be an orange?
#325
barend
- Anchor Head Anchor Man
-
- Group: Crappy News Team
- Posts: 11,839
- Joined: 12-November 03
- Gender:Male
- Location:Nieuw Holland
- Interests:The Beers of Western Europe, Cognac, and constantly claiming the world would have been a better place if Napoleon had won.
- Country:Australia
Posted 24 October 2005 - 11:30 PM
QUOTE (Otal Nimrodi @ Oct 24 2005, 08:01 PM)
My esteamed colleague.
One of my zombies said to me that you gave him friday off. I was using friday for attacking the castle of King Herkin. Could you please explain to him that as a dead guy he has no rights?
Lord Otal the Dark.
P.S. There's an evilness party coming up, will you be there?
One of my zombies said to me that you gave him friday off. I was using friday for attacking the castle of King Herkin. Could you please explain to him that as a dead guy he has no rights?
Lord Otal the Dark.
P.S. There's an evilness party coming up, will you be there?
Dear Lord Otal the Dark,
I appologise for the inconvinience but Mr.H.Mmeehh is protected under the section 4.25/b of the necronmicunion rights and regulation act of 1254ad.
As God of the undead, i have given permission to zombie to have friday as a R.D.O. I did this with no intention of undermining your direct authority over him and will consult you if i suspect an undead minion is trying to willingly or unwillingly by-pass you or disintermediate you in any way.
appologies from above, deal with him as you see fit, just make sure its on monday...
-Barend.
QUOTE (Mirithorn @ Oct 24 2005, 08:21 PM)
Dear Barend,
I keep having these really weird dreams where I'm scared out of my wits- and there isn't a reason. So I run around like crazy, panicking and (it feels like) barely avoiding grisly death at every turn until I wake up. Which takes a REALLY long time. Because I have to wake up maybe four times before I wake up in the real world, and even then, when I have my head on my pillow I can hear the voices and when I close my eyes I can see my dream for several minutes afterwards.... What do these dreams mean and how can I prevent them?
-Person Who Has Weird Nightmares
I keep having these really weird dreams where I'm scared out of my wits- and there isn't a reason. So I run around like crazy, panicking and (it feels like) barely avoiding grisly death at every turn until I wake up. Which takes a REALLY long time. Because I have to wake up maybe four times before I wake up in the real world, and even then, when I have my head on my pillow I can hear the voices and when I close my eyes I can see my dream for several minutes afterwards.... What do these dreams mean and how can I prevent them?
-Person Who Has Weird Nightmares
Dear Person Who Has Weird Nightmares,
try thinking of naked girls and whipped cr...
oh.. you said 'prevent'...
sorry... i thought you said 'pervert'
eh... hmm...
eat more salt and saturated fats.
-Barend.
QUOTE (banned @ Oct 24 2005, 09:07 PM)
Dear master barend,
Is it alright to be a slightly perverted weird guy with a mental disorder?
Sincerely,
-Lord Otal's Zombie
P.S. If Life were made of apples, could I be an orange?
Is it alright to be a slightly perverted weird guy with a mental disorder?
Sincerely,
-Lord Otal's Zombie
P.S. If Life were made of apples, could I be an orange?
dear Lord Otal's Zombie,
alright?
it should be compulsory!
-Barend
PS no, not without 64 slices of american cheese.
>>The Adventures of Heinrich Von Bastard<< (A Web Comic)
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
#326
Mirithorn
- Expert Misologist
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 2,331
- Joined: 06-July 05
- Location:Over There
- Country:United States
Posted 25 October 2005 - 09:11 PM
Dear Barend,
Is it possible for some jokes not to be funny?
-WABTC
Is it possible for some jokes not to be funny?
-WABTC
"YOU'RE MISSING A PERIOD. YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, DON'T YOU? YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU FUCK WITH GRAMMAR? WELL, FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR MISSING PERIOD! I HOPE IT MEANS YOUR SLUTTY, NON-PUNCTUATED WAYS HAVE GOTTEN YOU TEEN-PREGNANT!"
#328
barend
- Anchor Head Anchor Man
-
- Group: Crappy News Team
- Posts: 11,839
- Joined: 12-November 03
- Gender:Male
- Location:Nieuw Holland
- Interests:The Beers of Western Europe, Cognac, and constantly claiming the world would have been a better place if Napoleon had won.
- Country:Australia
Posted 25 October 2005 - 11:05 PM
QUOTE (Mirithorn @ Oct 25 2005, 09:11 PM)
dear WABTC,
EVERYTHING is funny to someone.
usualy rich people who get laid alot...
-barend
QUOTE (ion eon @ Oct 25 2005, 09:28 PM)
Dear Barend
If God made people than who made God(theororetically)
Signed, someone who doesn't really care
If God made people than who made God(theororetically)
Signed, someone who doesn't really care
dear someone who doesn't really care,
an off duty norwegian coast guard named phil.
-B
>>The Adventures of Heinrich Von Bastard<< (A Web Comic)
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
#329
Mirithorn
- Expert Misologist
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 2,331
- Joined: 06-July 05
- Location:Over There
- Country:United States
Posted 26 October 2005 - 05:25 AM
Dear Barend,
How long is a mourning period, generally? Because my arm band is starting to smell...
-In mourning for dead betta
How long is a mourning period, generally? Because my arm band is starting to smell...
-In mourning for dead betta
"YOU'RE MISSING A PERIOD. YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, DON'T YOU? YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU FUCK WITH GRAMMAR? WELL, FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR MISSING PERIOD! I HOPE IT MEANS YOUR SLUTTY, NON-PUNCTUATED WAYS HAVE GOTTEN YOU TEEN-PREGNANT!"
#330
Otal Nimrodi
- Miracle Ghost
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 5,442
- Joined: 26-June 05
- Gender:Male
- Interests:I like my my little pony characters like I like my suspected criminals. Mirandized.
- Country:United States
Posted 26 October 2005 - 05:53 AM
Dear Barend.
There are a few good guys hanging around my castle, and I want everything to be perfect for the party tonight. How do I get rid of them
-Lord Otal the Dark
There are a few good guys hanging around my castle, and I want everything to be perfect for the party tonight. How do I get rid of them
-Lord Otal the Dark
Want a Tarot reading?
PM me, we'll talk.
PM me, we'll talk.