The Summer of 1992 Saturday, June 3, 2006
#1
Posted 03 June 2006 - 03:08 PM
Perhaps it was for this reason that I decided to take home a number of VHS tapes that I had recorded throughout my childhood on my father's camcorder. My father's camcorder was one of the ancient variety that took full sized VHS tapes and weighed approximately fifty-seven pounds. If a doctor told me in the future that my right shoulder had developed improperly or that my balance was slightly off kilter it wouldn't take a great deal of thinking to narrow down the cause.
As a kid I was possessed with a need to record and catalog everything I touched. It's a need that hasn't necessarily gone away over the years but today it seems to manifest itself in different ways. As a fifteen-year-old I may have decided to record everything I did with my friends, particularly the music we were creating at the time. As a twenty-five-year-old I may have catalogued all of my stupidest ideas, comments and thoughts on anything and everything that crossed my mind. As a twenty-eight-year old it all comes full circle with me digitizing old photographs, audio tapes and, yes, VHS home movies.
The vast majority of the home movies I have come from the years between 1987 and 1992 where I would have been ten to fifteen years old. Anyone who has recordings of themselves from this age can sympathize with me when I say that it is profoundly painful and embarrassing to watch. As an adult it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that it won't be embarrassing because, after all, I was only a kid! However, as I found out from watching, I was not just a kid. I was a living breathing creature. A stupid living breathing creature. I remember thinking the things I was saying and I remember doing the things I did even though I would never in a million years do or say the same things now. To watch yourself at this age is to watch your past self constantly disappointing your present self. It is to hear embarrassing jokes, stupid conversations and extremely dull points.
Perhaps what we are doing at that age (and at any age) is simply rehearsing for tomorrow. We are learning, from our stupid interactions, a better way of acting in the future.
The thing that strikes me as the most disturbing is watching how the rest of my friends seem to act exactly the same as they do today. Maybe my memory of how they were is simply clearer due to the fact that it isn't clouded by my own self-awareness and ego. The scary thought being, of course, that I haven't changed at all and I am still the same annoying little punk from Rhode Island that appears on the videos.
Even though logic would lead me to believe that watching this with friends would not be that bad because everyone would be focused on the embarrassment of themselves, it still makes me sick to think of people seeing me on these videos. My friends were there. They know what I looked like and how I acted so what should the big deal be? The big deal comes in admitting that I was (am) the way I am clearly viewed acting in the video. It's the same reason that no one thinks they sound like themselves on recordings except it has less to do with the bones in your skull reverberating.
In 1992 one of my best friends, Scott, started a band which, to his dismay, was named Mindscream. The band was fronted by a fifteen-year-old guitarist named Dan who was -- and still is -- the best musician I've ever played with. No fifteen-year-old kid has any business playing the guitar the way he did. At fifteen he was better than I will ever be and now, at thirty, has transcended the world of mortal guitar players and aquired a spot in the Pantheon of Guitar Gods.
Since everyone else our age was teaching each other how to sloppily play the chords to "Smells Like Teen Spirit," Dan and Mindscream had a way of attracting people. It might have something to do with the fact that I'm in the middle of reading a book on quantum physics at the moment but it seems like the band had a sort of gravitational property to them that I had never quite seen in the past. It culminated in the summer of 1992 where everyone I'd ever known -- along with lots of new faces -- seemed to come together and surround this band. The videos I'd taken of the band featured everyone who I ever knew in my life, each tape bringing in a new set of faces.
The band itself had a way of attracting a large group of "headbangers" around them. The band wasn't necessarily heavy metal, but Dan's guitar playing certainly had heavy metal roots. In one video the band is playing on the street at a street fair and as the camera pans around you can see a wide variety of heavy metal dudes who have literally stopped in their tracks, standing in awe of Dan's guitar shredding. You see a number of guys with proto-mullets donning Iron Maiden T-shirts who can't believe what they are hearing.
It wasn't just random heavy metal dudes, it was kids I went to elementary school with, assorted girlfriends, siblings and family members who all seemed to come together and surround the band that summer.
In the end it's a good thing I made all of these recordings. It was worth the annoyance I must have caused everyone by shoving a camera in their faces because for the most part this is the only remnants of the music and idiocy that was created that summer. It was worth it to have songs, conversations and people that would have been otherwise forgotten preserved forever so that future generations can learn from our mistakes (which largely involved our hairstyle decisions).
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#2
Posted 03 June 2006 - 03:49 PM
For being stupid I never knew what that was until seeing my own sense first. The actions I do now may be regretted in the future for thoughts yet to come. I find it true that when something is gone it is most appreciated. The sad thing for me apart from not realizing is having no personal sense at the time of stupidity, that is when time seems to go so slow.
I am curious about that video camera could you state the make and specifications?
#3
Posted 03 June 2006 - 07:05 PM
As a devotee of accumulating all the family history I can, I sometimes feel cheated when I look at old, grainy 8mm film of my grandparents, parents and assorted family members now deceased. I'd give anything to be able to hear their voices again no matter what stupid thing they might have been saying. My dad bought his movie camera (which I still have) in about 1940 and documented so many family events. As kids we just loved it when once in a while he would take out all the equipment (screen, projector and large box of 400 ft reels of films) and show the home movies. Fortunately I paid some attention as to where the movies were taken and what the event was.
Revel in the video, and always remember, at least we never filmed you wearing a leisure suit, something you nor I ever owned I might add. Then you might have to kill yourself.
ps. The video camera was an RCA.
#4
Posted 03 June 2006 - 08:57 PM
Buy the New LittleHorse CD, Strangers in the Valley!
CD Baby | iTunes | LittleHorse - Flight of the Bumblebee Video
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#5
Posted 04 June 2006 - 12:25 PM
You're talking about k1ngwarren aren't you
I still get a kick out of watching old home movies of me and friends. I have videos of people hanging out, at parties, school events, plays. I watched one where I have a really bad 15 yr olds moustache. I could have sworn it was fuller than the 7 whiskers I had.
This post has been edited by SeanJ1: 04 June 2006 - 12:33 PM
#6
Posted 05 June 2006 - 06:24 PM
Ditto, here. Man... it seemed like such a good idea at the time.
Buy the New LittleHorse CD, Strangers in the Valley!
CD Baby | iTunes | LittleHorse - Flight of the Bumblebee Video
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#7
Posted 05 June 2006 - 09:16 PM
i have one photo of one ex-girlfriend and i'm not in it. and my ex-girlfriends don't have photo's of me...
I'm so not going to be remembered when i eventually mysteriously dissappear.
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#9
Posted 10 June 2006 - 02:14 AM
Quote
#10
Posted 12 June 2006 - 07:53 PM
well sure, but is anyone taping it?
and i've still missed the best years of my life... well actually 0-5 were the best years... and there's heaps of photos of that period...
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
#11
Posted 14 June 2006 - 05:04 PM
Maybe I'll bring it with me next time I go out.
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