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02/20/2003 Archived Entry: "Forced Vacation"

So I made it back home finally. Being snowed in by a giant blizzard is about the best possible natural disaster that one can hope for. If you have the means of going to your girlfriend's apartment in Manhattan and then having an unexpected Blizzard keep you stranded there for an extra two days I highly recommend it. It was marvelous.

The people at work were understanding and that is very good. Not that I had any guilt whatsoever but it is always nice to know that a group of people you spend forty hours a week with doesn't collectively hate your guts.

Prior to the blizzard there were freezing cold blasts of air rocketing down every street in New York so we didn't participate in a great deal of outdoor activities but that was just fine. We did walk to a store called "Gristedes" to do some grocery shopping. The walk there was unbearably cold but when we finally go there we were greeted by a scraggly animatronic fisherman who said: "Arrrr... welcome to Gristedes!" And, indeed, I have never felt so welcome. There was also a dopey animatronic papaya with a really dumb-sounding voice who was saying something along the lines of, "New York is the greatest city in the world and you are the greatest people in the world." The papaya smelled more like desperation than tropical fruit.

Completely oblivious to the fact that blizzard was rapidly approaching us we purchased a TON of groceries. So much that we could barely carry it all. We spent the next 48 hours unable to leave the building. Boy did we eat well.

While Jen attempted to get schoolwork done while I totally overstayed my welcome I entertained myself by periodically looking out the window and commenting on how the Jeeps across the street were getting buried in snow. This displays both my outstanding powers of observation and my ability to annoy the ones I love with useless and obvious information that could just as easily be ascertained by anyone else on earth. I got some good pictures of the Jeeps, though. Hooo mama!

We finally made it out of the house Tuesday night--more to just get the hell out than anything else--and traipsed through Times Square. Maybe we trudged through Times Square. There were giant puddles of icy water at every crosswalk. The puddles always seemed to be about half or three-quarters of an inch deep until we stepped in them and found out we were now knee-deep, wading through and icy, slushy mess. Luckily there were only about seventy or eighty crosswalks between Jen's apartment and Times Square so we didn't have to suffer through that episode too many times.

When we got home we turned on the news and some jackass camera man had set up a camera next to one of the deeper puddles. As the newspeople talked about the blizzard they just filmed unsuspecting pedestrians as they fell waist deep into a puddle and then totally freaked out as they realized that their walk was now going to be even more awful than they had previously thought. If there's one thing that cameraman taught me it's that it is better to film misery than to expend even less energy and try to prevent it.

Pixy got me a chocolate Home Depot NASCAR candy for Valentine's day. Vroooom. It's amazing. I'm really worried about it, though. I don't want to eat it because it's so cool but it's chocolate and some day I will have a sweet tooth and that will be the last remaining sugar product in my apartment. I will be helpless, sucked in by its hypnotic white trash allure.

Yesterday afternoon, before I left, Jen and I had lunch with Caolan. It was great except for the part when Caolan lost her scarf. That part was sad.

So I greatly look forward to the next blizzard. Hopefully I can have some more warning next time as to make sure that I am stranded as far away from my work and responsibilities as possible and hopefully Jen will be able to arrange the same for herself. Perhaps next time we can get stranded in This Glorious City and that way it will be easier for her to duck her commitment as well.

Replies: 10 People Love Me!


Nice reference at the beginning, Ferris.

And that race car was amazing. I may have to strangle Pixy to death since she clearly wants a piece. I mean, did I get HER boyfriend a chocolate race car? Nope, and you know why? Because I am not trying to win his love. The stakes have been raised in this game ....

Posted by Jen @ 02/20/2003 02:45 PM EST

And unfortunately I go to the highest bidder!

(P.S. Good call about the Ferris thing. I wasn't going for that at all but now I see why you would think that as I re-read what I wrote.)

Posted by Chefelf @ 02/20/2003 07:18 PM EST

Uh, I hope my mom doesn't read this, because I'm not gonna tell her about the scarf.

Posted by Caolan @ 02/21/2003 10:14 AM EST

Oops. Sorry. I bet she doesn't read this though. We should be safe.

Posted by Chefelf @ 02/21/2003 10:19 AM EST

She won't find out... unless someone tells her.

MWA HA HA HA!

I mean really, it's just common sense.

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