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It's true. Instant Messenger has some new smilies. Unforutnately it's so complicated and unnecessary that no one ever uses them and you'll probably never see them. Nevertheless, I have composed a short story featuring some of the new AOL Instant Messenger Smilies as told by me in the oral tradition of our ancestors*.

Chefelf: "Hi, I am a Sad Pirate."
Chefelf: "I am a sad boy."
Chefelf: "And I'm the American flag."
Chefelf: "The terrorist attacks on my nation have made me full of grief."
Chefelf: "But soemtimes I get so angry!!!!!"
Chefelf: "Don't let your rage be your guide!"
Chefelf: "Oh hi, The Earth's Sun."
Chefelf: "Anger. Agression. Revenge. These are the path to evil and darkness!!"
Chefelf: "I never looked at it that way, before!"
Chefelf: "I should be at peace. Only then will I be truly happy."
Chefelf: "You've made me a very happy celestial body, indeed!"
Chefelf: "Thanks, Mr. Sun!"
Chefelf: "No problem, Old Glory."
Chefelf: "... oh and one more thing!"
Chefelf: "What's that, Mr. Sun?"
Chefelf: "Next time, YOU pick up the check!"

* Not really.

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