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No Bone Movies
The Madman is BACK!

Recently I decided to make some copies of CDs for my car. I've been listening to the same collection of music now for about a year and a half so I figured it was time for a change. I gave my CD collection a quick scan and picked out some music I hadn't listened to in a decade.

Among the new/old CDs I would have in my car was the first Ozzy Osbourne solo album, The Blizzard of Oz.

Even though I'd heard this album approximately 200 times I hadn't really listened to it since I was about 13 (when Ozzy's absurd attempt at the macabre finally lost its charm). While I'd heard these songs before--and recalled most of the musical progressions and easily decipherable lyrics--I hadn't really listened to them the way I listened to them recently. It was like hearing the songs for the very first time while simultaneously experiencing a heavy dose of nostalgia.

One song that has always jumped out at me was the enigmatically titled No Bone Movies. To me that song has always been an extremely poignant glimpse into the life of heavy drug use that Ozzy had been leading. It didn't mean anything.

Ozzy never really included any lyrics sheets with his albums (at least until 1988 when he made the questionable move of including lyrics to the album No Rest for the Wicked. Lyrics like "Dancy Dancer/Dance for me ... BITCH!" were far from inspiring as a 12 year old.

His decision to leave out lyrics sheets I always attributed to a lack of confidence in his words which have been, historically speaking, piss poor at best. And since the way he sings leaves a lot of room for interpretation (read: confusion) one usually just kinda sings along syllabically.

In No Bone Movies I was always confused because I would always just pick up certain lines of the song:

addiction I live in disgust
poison passion
demon that lives in my head

Pretty standard stuff. After finding Ozzy fans that were gung-ho enough to transcribe this idiot's words I find a clearer meaning to the song.

A blue addiction
obsession of smut
pulsating gland

Ah. This song is about pornography.

I'm a little disappointed actually. Throughout my teen years I always imagined "bone movies" to be a testament to Ozzy's many years of excess. Unfortunately it's simply a representation of Ozzy's guilty pleasure.

As a pre-teen/young teen I always thought that the word "bone" was an inappropriately insane adjective to describe a movie. Now I have the sad knowledge that it is actually an all too appropriate adjective to describe John "Ozzy" Osbourne's erect penis.

Now I know what they mean when they talk about the innocence of youth.

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