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Hancock 1 and 2 How to enjoy the movie

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Posted 23 June 2012 - 11:54 PM

Caring can strengthen us, but it can also make us vulnerable, sometimes both at once. This is a reasonable and somewhat deep thought for a popcorn flick and one worthy of intelligent exploration.... No, wait, fuck that, the Gods built Will Smith to be a hero, but his powers will weaken and he'll become mortal if he's near Charlize Theron except sometimes that won't happen, in which case he's fine getting shot in the face and exploded.

Ahem, I've gotten ahead of myself. Hancock was a great movie. It was also a maddeningly retarded movie. I think I figured it out best when I stopped it right after Hancock gets out of jail and foils a bank robbery. The crowds are cheering, and all is well. It's the perfect end to a movie that featured a genuinely funny and realist look at what a super hero might be like.

The problem is that, rather than add in a bit of filler and release Hancock 1 as a theatrical film, the producers decided to add Hancock 2 right onto the ass end of the movie, and I do mean ass end.

The second half of the film is an incomprehensible mess which (I guess) takes the idea I mentioned up at the top and turns it into complete gibberish. Did you think that the lengthy blathering about the nature of the Matrix, Zion and the prophecies in The Matrix sequels was cool? Well then, you'll love Charlize Theron's lengthy blathering about gods and heroes and "They" coming to kill her and Will Smith. You'll also love removing yourself from the gene pool, which you should do immediately.

The worst part about the second half is that aside from one or two comic highlights harkening back to the first half, it has nothing to offer. The film's action scenes are unimpressive, but the worst part is that they can't stick to the ground rules laid down by the film's ridiculous plot. Here is a summary of the action. Keep in mind that when Will Smith is near to Charlize Theron, they are both mortal and can be hurt/killed.

Smith and Theron engage in a battle flying through the air and smashing eachother through buildings, which hurts neither of them.
Will Smith goes a good distance away from Theron, gets shot, and is injured by this so much that he is in the hospital dying.
Theron, who explained to Smith that he can die if they are near eachother, GOES TO VISIT HIM IN THE HOSPITAL
He gets shot some more and blown up, and is fine with this, but Theron is dying from one gunshot wound.
Smith jumps out a window, and gets hit by a bus or two, which makes Theron get better, and then he gets better as well.

I really want to like this movie, I just wish I could scratch up the second half of the disc so I was only capable of watching the first, good part of the movie.


I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.

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