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blathan's homecoming
a one act play


BLASON: Bald, bespectacled lover of electronics and roommate of Blathan.
BLATHAN (aka Blefelf): Roommate to Blason and lover of women residing 100 miles away or farther.


Blathan returns home from a trip to New York to visit his girlfriend, Blennifer. Upon walking into his apartment he finds his roommate, Blason, standing triumphantly with his hands on his hips. In front of Blason is a 50-inch television shamelessly playing pornography.


BLASON: I hooked up Direct TV. We now get 1000 channels including FOUR channels that play nothing but porn!!

BLATHAN: Interesting. When did this occur?

BLASON: This weekend while you were away.

BLATHAN: Excellent. So how was your weekend?

BLASON: Oh. I just got back from taking a shower in the apartment downstairs.

BLATHAN: Why is that?

BLASON: You know how I was supposed to call the gas company and change the name on the gas bill over?

BLATHAN: The thing that you had to do or they would shut off the gas?

BLASON: Yes that is the thing.

BLATHAN: Yes I remember

BLASON: Well I didn't do it. Then they came the NEXT DAY and shut off the gas!! Can you believe it?


There is an awkward pause.

BLATHAN: So did you call after they shut it off?


BLATHAN: Do you have any plans of calling?


BLATHAN: Excellent.

BLASON: Oh, also we linked two Xboxes together so we could play multiplayer Halo with EIGHT people!!

BLATHAN: Excellent.


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