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It's true. Instant Messenger has some new smilies. Unforutnately it's so complicated and unnecessary that no one ever uses them and you'll probably never see them. Nevertheless, I have composed a short story featuring some of the new AOL Instant Messenger Smilies as told by me in the oral tradition of our ancestors^*.

Chefelf: "Hi, I am a Sad Pirate." Chefelf: "I am a sad boy." Chefelf: "And I'm the American flag." Chefelf: "The terrorist attacks on my nation have made me full of grief." Chefelf: "But soemtimes I get so angry!!!!!" Chefelf: "Don't let your rage be your guide!" Chefelf: "Oh hi, The Earth's Sun." Chefelf: "Anger. Agression. Revenge. These are the path to evil and darkness!!" Chefelf: "I never looked at it that way, before!" Chefelf: "I should be at peace. Only then will I be truly happy." Chefelf: "You've made me a very happy celestial body, indeed!" Chefelf: "Thanks, Mr. Sun!" Chefelf: "No problem, Old Glory." Chefelf: "... oh and one more thing!" Chefelf: "What's that, Mr. Sun?" Chefelf: "Next time, YOU pick up the check!" Chefelf: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Chefelf: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

^* Not really.

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