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Vampsmasher's Profile User Rating: -----

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Star Wars Fan Convention (17 posts)
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07-June 05
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User is offline Jul 06 2005 01:17 PM
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I saw Episode III and hated it. Found your star wars sucks site.
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Topics I've Started

  1. Simply Fun

    Posted 15 Jun 2005

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  2. Batman: Returns...begins...rears his ugly head

    Posted 15 Jun 2005

    In nature, the bat relies on its hyper-sensitive hearing to navigate an environment using internal radar. So, logically, Batman covers his ears with thick rubber.

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    Vertical top-mounted ears create a slimming quality to the face and draw attention away from under-worked areas, like your quads or your script.

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    The thick rubber neck is specially designed so Batman is unable to see anywhere but dead centre. This way he remains focused on moving forward in his never-ending mission, instead of thinking about what he just did to that mugger in the alley.

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    Batman must strike a balance of sorrow (from his mommy's death), disgust (at the liberal stance on criminals needing "trials" instead of vigilante beatings) and anger (on failing the police exam). This petulant pout sums up all those feelings ... and more.

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    The ears might be that of a Doberman and the cape could just be a goth accessory, so Batman needs a clear image of a bat on his pecs to remind criminals of that which they fear most: blind flying rats.

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    A skin-tight outfit with added muscle definition shows the frightened populace that you will also do your best to protect the gay community.

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    Arm knives are probably illegal. Hell, everything to do with Batman is probably illegal. Someone should probably arrest him, don't you think?

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    Having no pockets is hard, especially for a man like Bruce Wayne who must have a ton of keys. Several incarnations of a Bat-Purse were developed before settling on a utility belt, with a downward design that draws some well-deserved attention to Batman's manstuffs. This has absolutely nothing to do with crime fighting.

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    A cape brings people back to a simpler time, a time of elegance and civility. Criminals can ponder this as they swallow their own teeth, courtesy of Batman.

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    In Batman Begins, The Dark Knight's rubber footwear is equipped with a high-pitched frequency emitter that can summon thousands of bats to flock to his side and overwhelm his enemies. After all, what self-respecting superhero goes out without a pair of flock-me boots?

    He's your basic supertrooper in black and your judge and jury, with people like Batman, who needs Gitmo? So is it possible that Bush, Ashcroft and Rumsfelt had been reading too many comic books, for as their archtype had inspired: vigilante justice is american as apple pie. (Even if that pie is a green hairy moldy mess rotting in a stinking cave called Fascism.)
  3. Anybody seen I.M.P.S.?

    Posted 9 Jun 2005

    Anybody seen I.M.P.S.?
  4. Star Wars TV Series: Its all YOUR fault

    Posted 8 Jun 2005

    Well, its a done deal. Never again will George Lucas pretend to be a director of another Star Wars film. Not quite sure what that means but, its definitely over with. The circle is now complete...or at least kind of, nitpickers are still arguing about whether Obiwan owned droids, who Syfo Dyas was and just who was Anakin's father anyway...the mystery of the midichlorians never resolved, how is it that technology seems clunkier and less advanced in later years and what did Boba Fett do with his time while Aniklutz Skywanker became the whiney, angry, and foolish Darth Vader?

    You see this will take a TV show to explain it all...one hour a week for the next 10 years, is what it will take to fill in all the gaps and explain all these little deetails. Its all part of the plan, to convince fans they "need" a tv show now that the saga is "complete." Think of all the unanswered questions out there. Every geek with a keyboard out there is hollering about something. Perhaps there is no clear progression of hairbuns from Episode II to A New Hope, and did hair buns go out of syle in Episode 5? What did Jar Jar Binks become(don't worry all will continue and be explained in STAR WARS: THE SAGA CONTINUES Tv series.) I hear there will even be a guest appearance of Boba Fett...and all these inconsistencies are money in the bank. Why does the Tantive not look the same, and what about the slaves on Tattoine? Does Watto join the empire or the rebellion? Yes, it got to be yet another ploy...Lucas couldn't possibly have left this shit out for a reason could he have? I mean it couldn't possibly be because he only had 2 hours to explain it all, and is hardly a genius behind the camera...

    Lucas has found the new demagraphic: the nitpickers are a gold mine.

    With every week a new show to do nothing but feed off all these unanswered questions who needs a script? It will write itself. Thank you nitpickers, you have guaranteed the never ending saga of Star Wars in the worst possible way forever.
  5. What about the Holiday Special?

    Posted 7 Jun 2005

    Can we have a forum soley devoted to my fav of all time : THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL!? or Episode 4 1/2? Or is it "Expanded Universe" or perhaps "Forbidden universe?

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