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Star Wars Fan Convention (85 posts)
21-March 05
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User is offline Nov 17 2006 11:45 AM

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How did you find the site?:
Was reading the very witty articles about the stuff that sucked in "Phantom Menace" and "Attack of the Clones" and it led me here.
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Topics I've Started

  1. Something I'm Considering

    Posted 27 May 2005


    For a while now I've been thinking about writing an article about people who are writing their own versions of the prequel trilogy. I find the subject fascinating and I think people would like to read about people who are so passionate about a film series that they'd actually write their own scripts, even though they know they can never turn them into films. God knows I've considered doing it myself, but I don't think I'd do a very good job (though I certainly couldn't do worse than Lucas).

    I'm wondering, would anyone be willing to talk with me regarding their motivations for such a thing, the realism of actually completing their work, what they hope to get out of it, what big changes they plan to make, etc?

    Of course feel free to tell me it's a bad idea, believe me I shan't be offended. I personally find the subject fascinating but I realize not everyone will. Frankly if enough people poo poo the idea I guess I'll move onto something else (especially since I really can't do it without you guys).

    So whaddaya think, folks? Any interest?
  2. Kill All Robots

    Posted 22 May 2005

    Okay, I think I've figured out what really takes the prequels from merely irritating to downright painful and wince-inducing.

    It' s the robots.

    Throughout the prequel films, the robots are mostly unbearable.

    It started in Phantom Menace, when they had that award ceremony for R2D2, which is basically like having an award ceremony for your toaster when it toasts your bread really well.

    Then in Attack of the Clones, C3PO stunk up the joint with his stupid one liners ("this is such a drag") and clowny antics.

    Now in Revenge of the Sith, there are robots all over the GD place and they're all utterly annoying. From the insulted robot who goes "you're welcome!" when General Coughbot grabs the lightsaber out of his hand, to the baby delivery robot who doesn't even speak the same language as his patient, to the doctor robot who is somehow able to diagnose a case of "broken heart" in the case of Padme.

    Not to mention R2D2, who is now somehow as agile as a gymnast, capable of jumping around, catching things, flying, etc. And also he screams a lot, which frankly, is something I might not program my robot to do.

    Then there's the battle droids who use binoculars and actually moan when they're destroyed. I'm no robot designer, but why would you bother adding a moaning function to your robot when it gets killed? Doesn't that seem like a rather pointless waste of the Republic's tax credits?

    I saw the Revenge movie the other day and I think it's safe to say that I cringed almost every time a robot was onscreen. Even during the final battle, when Anakin and Obi wan were fighting, and now and then a robot would look up with a "HUH??" type exp​ression like it couldn't believe what it was seeing. Seems like if you design a robot, you pretty much design it to keep working no matter what, you don't add a "stop and look at interesting stuff" function. A minor point I grant you, but still- annoying.

    Of course robots aren't the only problem of the prequels (far from it actually) but after thinking about it, I've come to realize that the robots of the prequel trilogy really drag the movies down. They're clowns, idiots, totally impractical and very much serve to remind you that you're in a theater, watching a bad movie.

    Frankly I'm surprise Lucas didn't toss in a breakdancing robot, just for good measure.
  3. The Star Wars TV Show

    Posted 10 May 2005

    I just read that George will be writing and directing at least the first few episodes of the Star Wars TV show.

    Translation: the Star Wars TV show is going to suck.

    I actually had hopes for this show, because I figured Star Wars would be better in anyone else's hands.

    Whatever someone new does can't be WORSE than whatever George has already done.

    But sadly Star Wars shall remain in Lucas' hands.

    And that means the crap shall continue, albeit on the small screen.

    What a pity.

    I guess the dream really IS over.
  4. Well Variety Likes It

    Posted 6 May 2005

    Variety's review of ROTS is up and it's positive.

    I'm starting to wonder if maybe people are just SO desperate to love a new Star Wars movie, that they're brainwashing themselves into thinking ROTS is great.

    Either that or Lucas is just going door to door, handing out sacks of cash.

    In any case, we'll see what the real reviewers think.

    Until then there's stuff like this:

    The Force returns with most of its original power regained in "Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith." Concluding entry in George LucasGeorge Lucas' second three-pack of space epics teems with action, drama and spectacle, and even supplies the odd surge of emotion, as young Anakin Skywalker goes over to the Dark Side and the stage is set for the generation of stories launched by the original "Star Wars" 28 years ago. Whatever one thought of the previous two installments, this dynamic picture irons out most of the problems, and emerges as the best in the overall series since "The Empire Strikes Back." Stratospheric B.O.B.O. is a given.

    Indeed, "Sith" looks likely to follow the commercial pattern of the initial trilogy, wherein the second edition, "Empire," dipped considerably from the first, only to see the third, "Return of the Jedi," bounce back closer to the level of "Star Wars." In the case of the most recent set, "The Phantom Menace" grossed $921 million worldwide (slightly more coming from foreign territories than from the U.S.), while "Attack of the Clones" slipped to a $647 million worldwide cume. There's little doubt "Sith" will significantly improve on the latter figure.

    Everyone who has followed the "Star Wars" saga over the years will come to this film knowing that it all has to pay off here: the transformation from Anakin into Darth Vader, the face-off between Anakin/Vader and his mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi, the morphing of the Republic into the Empire, the exile of Yoda and Padme's birth of the twins Luke and Leia, siblings who become the central figures in episodes 4-6.

    Given the general awareness of what's going to happen, it's up to Lucas to make it exciting. Despite fans' varying degrees of loss of faith that set in with "Menace" and "Clones," most will be inspired enough to believe again.

    As if deliberately setting out to reassert his mastery over his iconic creation, Lucas opens with an amazing shot of his two Jedi Knights, Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregorEwan McGregor) and Anakin (Hayden ChristensenHayden Christensen), threading their little spaceships through an extraordinary maze of explosions and airborne craft.

    In fact, the initial 23 minutes virtually constitute one eye-popping action sequence, as the Jedis fight an assortment of battles to rescue the kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) from the clutches of the skeletal separatist General Grievous.

    When things settle down to reunite Anakin with Padme, who announces she's pregnant after the idyllic secret wedding that climaxed "Clones," one is briefly reminded of Lucas' shortcomings as a writer and director of intimate, one-on-one scenes. But it's a minor problem here, as the dynamic of onrushing events soon becomes all-enveloping, and several interconnected conflicts are brought to a head.

    As was not always the case the last two times out, Lucas' storytelling sense is admirable as he lays out the growing schism between the Jedi council -- which supports the Republic -- and the Chancellor, who has been granted exceptional powers in the current crisis.

    Caught in the middle is Anakin, trained all his life by Obi-Wan to be an exemplary Jedi, but suddenly plagued by dreams of his wife's death in childbirth, offended by the Council's refusal to grant him master status and susceptible to the Chancellor's promise that only through the attainment of dark powers can he save his wife.

    As Anakin stews, Jedis led by Obi-Wan attack General Grievous, which occasions more spectacular lightsaber fights (the movie is full of them). When Jedi Knight Mace Windu (Samuel L. JacksonSamuel L. Jackson, finally given something to do) attacks the Chancellor after learning he's a Sith Lord, Anakin must decide once and for all where his allegiance lies, his ultimate choice pitting him tragically against those closest to him, Padme and Obi-Wan.

    Picture' s final hour is steeped in apocalyptic imagery, tragic pop mythology and effective cross-cutting, as Yoda takes on the Chancellor at the same time Anakin/Vader engages in ferocious combat with Obi-Wan.

    Resolution of the latter is significantly gorier than anything previously seen in the "Star Wars" sextet, thereby earning the series' first PG-13 rating. It also results in the transfixing final metamorphoses of Anakin into the black hooded-and-caped Vader unseen since the initial trilogy, an emergence dramatically contrasted with the birth of the twins.

    Entertaining from start to finish and even enthralling at times, "Sith" has some acting worth writing home about, specifically McDiarmid's dominant turn as the mastermind of the evil empire. McGregor remains a steady presence, and both Portman and Christensen have loosened up since "Clones" to acceptable, if hardly inspired, levels. Expressiveness of the digitally animated Yoda, voiced as always by Frank OzFrank Oz, is amazing.

    The technical achievement here is on such a high level that one is lulled into taking it for granted. Neither of the digitally shot recent episodes has looked consistently great, but this one does.

    Perhaps this is the moment to remember it was the original "Star Wars," modest budget and all, that forever raised the bar and set the standard for the new generation of special and visual effects (a taste of "Star Wars" decor is provided by a reproduction of the gleaming white interior of the escaping Jedis' spacecraft). Composer John Williams also seems to have put extra effort into his virtually continuous score, which increasingly invests familiar themes with darker and richer tones.

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