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Very interesting point! I wonder if Portman is like that, or if she does have innate abilty, and Lucas somehow "killed" it.

When I watched Episode 2 in French (and again I don't speak French, so maybe I'm wrong, but...) it seemed that the delivery of the lines was generally much more "alive" than in the original English.

For example, when Amidala utters her immortal line, "I wish you wouldn't look at me like that. It makes me uncomfortable," Portman's delivery could hardly have been more dry...she doesn't sound uncomfortable--If anything she sounds bored! Not that I blame her. But when the French actress spoke that line, I swear I could hear some actual inflection, some convincing stress and awkwardness in the voice. I heard ACTING, dammit! And it made a difference. For me, the groan factor was relieved quite a bit, even though I still had to read that pathetic line in the subtititles.

That led me to believe that maybe even dialog as bad as Lucas' could have sounded better if it were ably "performed" instead of merely recited. When you have bad lines delivered badly, it's...well, twice as bad.

And as you say, ultimately I must trace both problems to Lucas. Why was the French voiceover better? Probably because Lucas didn't direct it. For which French-speaking peoples the world over should be eternally grateful.

Now why couldn't he have done US that favor?

Hi! Great stuff!

Not only are these lists funny and true, but they are a revelation to me: I was shocked that nearly all these reasons are about the WRITING of Episodes I and II--dialog, plot, characters, science, mythology, etc. Because I always felt the worst flaw in these movies was not the horrendous writing, but the unbearable ACTING.

As soon as the actors start talking in either Episode I or II, I just want to run screaming. Most of the "acting" is so flat, stale, corny, unispired, and juvenile that even if these movies had been written by William Shakespeare, they would still be torture to watch.

It doesn't make sense; Neeson, Portman, McGregor and Jackson have been great in other movies. So what happened?

All I can think of is Lucas must have told the actors, "Remember, I want this to be the worst performance of your life. I want it as flat as you can possibly make it. If you absolutely MUST show emotion, make sure it's phony or childish. I can't have you outdoing my special effects or alienating any 3-year-olds."

As an experiment, I borrowed a friend's DVD of Episode II and watched it in French, with the English subtitles on. I don't speak French, but I found it a much more bearable experience without the "mannequins reading cuecards" delivery. What's more, I even detected some BELIEVABLE emotion in the French voiceover, which made me wish I could speak French.

But no matter. It's not like it would be a GOOD movie without the terrible acting, as these lists so poignantly prove. I guess we all have our favorite reason to hate these movies, and mine would be...

ACTING. Or Lack thereof.