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  1. Chris Nolan is secretly Himmler, Dark Knight Rises sucked

    Posted 27 Jul 2012

    Now that I've had some time to think about the last Batman movie, I have to say it's rather a lot of fascist propaganda. First of all, OK, the character of Batman is of course right out of Ayn Rand, a wealthy captain of industry whose wealth means that he has the right to beat the fuck out of lower class people who he deems to be criminals, but that's just the way Batman is, and I can't fault Nolan for that, it's inherent to his mythology.

    What I can fault him for is the fact that this movie is purported to have any sort of relevance to real life issues whatsoever. If we are to understand the very, very vague simile here, the message is "Don't support occupy Wall Street, because they're with the terrorists" but beyond that bit of Capitalist rhetoric there's a lot more under there.

    For instance - Catwoman, the one bright spot in this dull mess, occasionally points out what everyone knows - that the exploiters need to pay for their crimes, etc. The movie seems to spend a lot of time proving Catwoman wrong, first by promoting the idea that, first of all, a revolutionary must be a thug with ulterior motives which might include nuclear destruction, a thug who Catwoman becomes more afraid of than she initially was of the exploiting class. And then, further, we're treated to a brief scene where somehow reasonable wealth redistribution has been conflated to taking over the primary residences of the wealthy and living in them. That's not really how it works.

    And let's look at the similies drawn between the Dent Act and its obvious inspiration, the PATRIOT ACT. The Dent act apparently was meant to take down organized crime by denying bail to those involved in the mafia. Fair enough. The Patriot Act on the other hand, denies Habeaus Corpus, and set the stage for the gulag at Guantanamo, torture, etc. The lack of Habeaus Corpus means that the majority of people detained under that act were innocent of everything but being the wrong religion and color. However, the people detained under the Dent act, after being busted out Bastille style, form a criminal army loyal to Bane, making it clear that they are indeed the bad guys. In essence : We need the PATRIOT act or bad people will get out of prisons/secret torture facilities, and take over our cities. Bullshit.

    Finally, of course, we have the police triumphantly emerging to beat back the uppity proletarians in a final heroic battle between common people and the uniformed enforcers of our class enemies, who we are asked to root for. Double bullshit.

    Fuck Chris Nolan, the only way this movie can be said to bare any resemblance to reality, to have a relationship to real events, is if we are to accept how a right wing retard would view those events, which no doubt many audience members will. As for me, fuck DKR.
  2. Hancock 1 and 2

    Posted 23 Jun 2012

    Caring can strengthen us, but it can also make us vulnerable, sometimes both at once. This is a reasonable and somewhat deep thought for a popcorn flick and one worthy of intelligent exploration.... No, wait, fuck that, the Gods built Will Smith to be a hero, but his powers will weaken and he'll become mortal if he's near Charlize Theron except sometimes that won't happen, in which case he's fine getting shot in the face and exploded.

    Ahem, I've gotten ahead of myself. Hancock was a great movie. It was also a maddeningly retarded movie. I think I figured it out best when I stopped it right after Hancock gets out of jail and foils a bank robbery. The crowds are cheering, and all is well. It's the perfect end to a movie that featured a genuinely funny and realist look at what a super hero might be like.

    The problem is that, rather than add in a bit of filler and release Hancock 1 as a theatrical film, the producers decided to add Hancock 2 right onto the ass end of the movie, and I do mean ass end.

    The second half of the film is an incomprehensible mess which (I guess) takes the idea I mentioned up at the top and turns it into complete gibberish. Did you think that the lengthy blathering about the nature of the Matrix, Zion and the prophecies in The Matrix sequels was cool? Well then, you'll love Charlize Theron's lengthy blathering about gods and heroes and "They" coming to kill her and Will Smith. You'll also love removing yourself from the gene pool, which you should do immediately.

    The worst part about the second half is that aside from one or two comic highlights harkening back to the first half, it has nothing to offer. The film's action scenes are unimpressive, but the worst part is that they can't stick to the ground rules laid down by the film's ridiculous plot. Here is a summary of the action. Keep in mind that when Will Smith is near to Charlize Theron, they are both mortal and can be hurt/killed.

    Smith and Theron engage in a battle flying through the air and smashing eachother through buildings, which hurts neither of them.
    Will Smith goes a good distance away from Theron, gets shot, and is injured by this so much that he is in the hospital dying.
    Theron, who explained to Smith that he can die if they are near eachother, GOES TO VISIT HIM IN THE HOSPITAL
    She gets shot and is wounded, but, despite CHARLIZE THERON BEING THERE, WHICH SHOULD KILL HIM, SMITH GETS BETTER.
    He gets shot some more and blown up, and is fine with this, but Theron is dying from one gunshot wound.
    Smith jumps out a window, and gets hit by a bus or two, which makes Theron get better, and then he gets better as well.

    I really want to like this movie, I just wish I could scratch up the second half of the disc so I was only capable of watching the first, good part of the movie.
  3. Fox news and Deucaon agree: US Army a rape based organization

    Posted 14 Feb 2012

    It's not often that the words "agree with Deucaon" are thrown around here. Indeed, this might be a historic first. And for this historic first, we need to take a look back to this thread where Deucaon suggested that people joining the US Military (and possibly all other militaries, and possibly firemen) do so only in order to rape others, or possibly to be raped themselves. A good laugh was had, and Civ joked that Deuc should move to the states to become a ridiculous faux-journalist. Que This interview on Fox wherein it is suggested that women in the military should expect to get raped, and that we should not have "bureaucracy" in place to handle people who are "being raped too much". No word on whether they approve of the bureaucracy in place to make sure that women in the military are getting just the right amount without overfilling their quota.
  4. Friendship is Magic

    Posted 15 Nov 2011

    So amid all the GI Joes, Transformers, Starwars and other general badness of remakes, reboots and next gens, there's My Little Pony Friendship is Magic. And it's damn good. It's got some decent actiony-stuff to it, and some humor, and generally makes for a decent viewing experience, no matter who you are. Give it a go!
  5. Grievous' Lightsabers

    Posted 29 Sep 2011

    If you put episode 3 in slo mo during the grievous-obi wan battle, I've been able to recognize 2 of the lightsabers grievous is using.

    Grievous drops one lightsaber I can't identify.
    The second one he drops is Obi Wan's hilt with a green blade, so basically Luke's ROTJ
    At the end he is using Anakin's. Not even modified. A blue Anakin lightsaber. and some other weapon I can't identify, probably Mace's hilt.


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Member Title:
Knows All The Girls Named Lola
36 years old
March 30, 1984
Rural Pahrump Nevada

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