Chefelf.com Night Life: Keyper7 - Viewing Profile

Heya Chef!

I don't know if you remember me, but some time ago I e-mailed you with some additional reasons to hate Ep. II. If I remember correctly, the first ones in

http://www.chefelf. c...rs/ep2_add1.php

I was thinking about doing the same thing about Ep. III, but since there is a forum now, I'll just put it here. I consider myself to be a very tolerant person, so if I'm writing this, then the following reasons really annoyed me:

1 - Two, Three, Four Lightsabers Against One

Something that has always bothered me in the prequel is fights involving two lightsabers against one. There are some japanese swordfighting styles that involve two swords, but the apparent advantage is balanced by having to handle two heavy swords with just one hand each. Plus, those styles usually involve shorter swords. So it's easy to realize that someone with one sword can beat someone with two with proper strategy.

With lightsabers, however, there is neither the problem of heaviness or the problem of range. And virtually nothing can defend a lightsaber strike except for another lightsaber. So it's very hard to believe that a person with just one lightsaber is able to defend all attacks from a person with two lightsabers or two persons with one lightsaber each. Unless, of course, the person with just one lightsaber is considerably more skilled or has an adequate weapon. That's why I tolerate the Darth Maul fight or the Count Dooku fight in Ep. III. Or Count Dooku against Anakin in Ep. II, since Anakin fights like a retard on that one.

The problem here is General Grievous. Not only the guy has four lightsabers, but he "has been trained in Jedi arts by Count Dooku". Now, Grievous might not be considered a experienced lightsaber fighter, or the brightest bulb in the box, but from one can see in Clone Wars, the guy can fight. So I'm quite unconfortable with the fact that Obi-Wan, who wasn't capable of hitting Dooku even with the aid of Anakin, is capable of defending himself from four lightsabers. Even more annoying is that fact that this happens because the so-called "trained in Jedi arts" cyborg apparently prefers to spin two sabers like a chainsaw instead of simply striking Obi-Wan with all four sabers at once, something that would finish the battle in a split second.

2 - Subtlety Unhooded

This is a short one. Am I the only one annoyed at yet another obvious lack of subtletly from dearest Lucas, which happens after Palpatine kills Windu? I'm talking about the very convenient revelation that a chancellor's outfit includes a hood. What the hell? I can imagine Georgie thinking "Well, okay... He just killed Mace Windu with lightning, exactly like he tries to do with Luke in the sixth film. He's also had his face scarred, making him look like in that film. Hmm... But perhaps people still won't realize he's the Emperor with just that... Something is missing..."

3 - Anti-Climatic Climax

This is actually something Scott McCloud said some time ago. It's very interesting that the climax of the movie is two simultaneous duels-to-the-death, yet you already know that all four of the fighters involved will survive and three of them unscathed.

4 - Attack Of The Furrowed Eyebrows

Now this just shows how bad of an actor Hayden is. First, he thinks "evil" means "angry". Second, he thinks "angry" means "having furrowed eyebrows". Both statements are wrong, and realizing how much he believes in them during the entire movie is simply annoying. His face after he goes to the dark side has nothing to do with the calm and cool Darth Vader in the original trilogy. It's more like Justin Timberlake finding out that his boyfriend cheated on him.

5 - Very Confusing The Dark Side Is

Apparently, going to the dark side did not cure the "I hate you! You're like a father to me!" sydrome of poor Anakin. First he kills several Jedis in order to have power to save Padmé. Then he tries to kill Padmé. And then he is angry at Obi-Wan because he tried to separate him from Padmé. And when he wakes up, the first thing he asks is if Padmé is okay. And finally, he decides to stay with the Emperor, yet the only reason he joined the Emperor in the first place is, literally, dead.

Perhaps that why Palpatine is smiling at Vader's back during the "Nooo..." scene: he's probably thinking: "Damn, this kid is stupid."

As a final comment, I wonder what Christopher Lee thinks about being, in two different trilogies, a major villain in the second part and completely irrelevant in the third.