[K1NGWARREN]

Nuclear 'Football' in Vatican Hallowed Halls
Monday, June 7, 2004

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - While George W. Bush and Pope John Paul talked peace in the Vatican on Friday, a military aide held a bulky black attach case containing the codes the U.S. president would need in order to launch a nuclear war.

It is known as "the football." It has been all over the world and on Friday it entered the hallowed halls of the Vatican.

It was never very far from the president. While he and the pope were speaking alone in the pontiff's private study, it was in the next room.

And when Bush and the pope delivered speeches and Bush awarded the pope the Presidential Medal of Freedom, it rested on the shiny marble floor between the firm legs of Major Paul Montanus of the U.S. Marine Corps.

http://story.news.ya...ush_football_dc

Well, that's a real class act.

[Heccubus]

How stupid is it to carry it all over like that? I mean, the US military very recently showed us all that they aren't always the brightest of folks, so I'd think it would be rather unsafe in the hands of a military aide.

[Jane Sherwood]

it rested on the shiny marble floor between the firm legs of Major Paul Montanus of the U.S. Marine Corps.

Am I the only one wondering just what the hell they mean by that?

[Mist]

I was wondering that myself, actually, Jane, but I'm glad you said it first.

[J m HofMarN]

-Sigh- Ok, who wants to bet that the pope ISNT letting Bush come over ever again? I mean he had codes for world destruction and he brought them to the vatican? Bloody bastard! I'm not even catholic and I know that's just wrong. It could have been worse, he could have brought Saddam's gun to show the pope.

"Hey Johnny boy, lookie at this, it wasnt even loaded..." -BANG-
"Oh man, how am I going to blame the terrorists for this one..."

[J m HofMarN]

And, really, if you're going to start a nuclear war time clearly dosn't matter. He could have had them wait outside like ANY DECENT HUMAN BEING. What, like three minutes to walk out of the vatican would have made that much difference? He essentially brought a nuclear bomb into the pope's home because in the event of trouble he didnt want to wait three minutes to kill everyone. Bush, you sick fucking bastard.

[Jane Sherwood]

I can see it now...

George W. Bush: Bringer of the Apocalypse.


Eep.

[Heccubus]

-Sigh- Ok, who wants to bet that the pope ISNT letting Bush come over ever again? I mean he had codes for world destruction and he brought them to the vatican? Bloody bastard! I'm not even catholic and I know that's just wrong. It could have been worse, he could have brought Saddam's gun to show the pope.

"Hey Johnny boy, lookie at this, it wasnt even loaded..." -BANG-
"Oh man, how am I going to blame the terrorists for this one..."

Doesn't look like he'll be around long enough to worry about inviting him back anyway. Hopefully the new Pope will have half a brain and won't bother in the first place.

[Mist]

George W. Bush: Bringer of the Apocalypse.

I just got an amusing image of the dread horsemen with Bush trailing along behind trying to figure out what's going on. I don't think that'd happen Janey. Bush'd annoy the horsemen too much and they'd get rid of him...


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If only...

[Chefelf]

Are his legs really that firm? How do they know?

[K1NGWARREN]

They have ways of knowing.

[jyd]

i think some of us are missing the point here...WHY DID HE BRING THAT TO THE VATICAN!? in case the pope calls him a slut, he can nuke it?

[Mist]

I'd laugh really hard if the pope called him a slut. I would definitely need a copy of that.

[WalrusOfPlastic]

Did anyone else think this article was going to be about the Catholic sport of the future?
I was sadly dissapointed to discover it was about Bush showing off his nuclear penis.

[J m HofMarN]

jyd- I agree completely. I think this is just Bush's egotism more than anything.

"Oh boy terrorists might hear I'm in the vatican and decide to get up to no good while I'm away from my red phone"

Ok, Bush, they're TERRORISTS, not teenagers who want to have a party when their moron father is out of town. I doubt that just because you turn your vigilant eye away for a few minutes to talk with the worldly voice of god that they're going to blow something up. I remember when Bush got an anal exam he made Cheney president just in case. Bush is not the deterrent he thinks he is. If anything Cheney and Rumsfeld are the deterrent. Somehow I think the only reason there aren't mushroom clouds all over the world is because Bush does keep that suitcase everywhere he goes. It's not to have it with him it's to have it away from those neanderthals.

That said when else does Bush consider it acceptable to drag around the codes for world obliteration?

Jesus: Ok, second coming everyone, yeah you heard the trumpet everyone line up... George, is that a thermal detonator you're holding?

Bush: Maaaybe... -grins-

Jesus: -sigh- you REALLY weren't listening to that part about the meek inheriting the earth, were you?

Bush: Haha if they want to inherit it all I have to do is push a button and BAM! I have the button right here aint it cool?

Jesus: Right then, you'll be wanting to go down the stairs towards the pits of brimstone.

Bush: But don't you want to see Saddam's gun?

Jesus: Stairs, now.