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One Does Not Simply Walk Into Heathrow there is evil there that does not sleep!

#1 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 28 January 2009 - 01:08 AM

So, yeah, Heathrow is a nice enough airport aside from being a bit confusing. But the real great part about it is the devotion that London's residents have to anarchy and destruction. On the signs leading in from the little hallways you go to your plane on, someone's drawn penii. The customs chaps took great pains to tie down their pens with some futuro-bullshit auto extending stretch string that these people couldnt break. So they took apart the pens and left only the shell attached. The letters had been scratched off in various places, including one that forms "HM's bor e control"

While I was here I made a little flyer about Blake and talked a nice lady into copying and posting it. It's like a batfuck insane wanted poster accusing him of attacking me with spraycheese and such. Good fun!

So yes, all in all Heathrow is a dick filled good time in Chyldio's back yard. I'm only sorry I wasn't able to locate and neutralize the man himself.

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#2 User is offline   Chyld Icon

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Posted 28 January 2009 - 05:15 AM

I took the cunning approach of "thinking he was swinging by on Sunday and being the other end of the country". Cunning, see?
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#3 User is offline   azerty Icon

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Posted 28 January 2009 - 10:32 PM

I was at Heathrow this morning myself.

Nearly got arrested for having a knife in my sack of tools, just because the blade could lock open. Mans most basic tool, illegal in the UK. Had to explain why I had it, and then finally police let me go after giving me a tedius lecture.
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#4 User is offline   civilian_number_two Icon

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Posted 29 January 2009 - 01:03 AM

LOL. A box cutter? That tool is illegal in EVERY country in the world, when you're in an AIRPORT. I feel it may be necessary to add another link at this time.

laugh.gif
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#5 User is offline   Spoon Poetic Icon

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Posted 29 January 2009 - 01:30 AM

I don't think you can even have fingernail files in certain areas of the airports anymore. I'm surprised that you are surprised you couldn't have a knife.
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#6 User is offline   azerty Icon

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Posted 29 January 2009 - 10:13 AM

Not True Civilian Number 2... Only England and the USA so far. It wasn't a box cutter, it was a kickass Spyderco Rescue, which I quote from the website

"The consummate folder when you want to cut something, not someone. The Rescue's Sheepfoot Blade is rounded at the tip for safe cutting. No point. This is a necessity for emergency personnel and marine applications (when cutting close to your hands while on a moving boat)."

Sure, it was a fuck up to have it in my bag, ( I had to do a carry on and checked bag switch at the last moment)and when the security guy pulled it out I was bummed at the prospect of the losing it to the security wanker who no doubt would take it home to use himself, but that's the price you pay for stupidity.

However, it was the arrest and the waiting around for an hour for proper police to arrive which was even less amusing. Why not just deport my ass to where I was going and be glad to get rid of me? England is geting to be more of a third world dump every day. The problem was explained to me that it was the fact the blade locked open which was the problem - illegal to have a locking knife in the UK. Like what other kind of knife is there, and how do the pommies cut their meat if nobody can have a knife?

However, the cops were fairly reasonable when I explained why I had it, and when I demonstrated how it could be deployed and stowed wih one hand, and how you couldn't stab anyone with it even if you tried, and even said sorry they had to keep the knife. They wouldn't let me mail it to myself though, which seemed a reasonble solution, especially since it was my knife and I was leaving their country, and was even actually an Irish/UK issue piece of team gear with the logo on the handle.

An even worse experience was transferring through the USA. Even though you must fill out endless forms before you lcan even leave the plane, the Americans question you, fingerprint you (both hands and both thumbs) and photograph you. Then, even though you have come through international security, they make you leave and then re-enter the boarding area. Homeland Security bark orders at you, TSA officers bullying everyone, the public address system bellowing constant instructions, and everybody in a foul mood. The price of true freedom.


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#7 User is offline   Dr Lecter Icon

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Posted 27 February 2009 - 05:28 PM

I know how you feel, I was at the airport the other day, and the police officer gave me a massive lecture about trying to bring my AK47 and my 9mm onto a plane... Honestly... what the hell is wrong with this country?
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#8 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 27 February 2009 - 08:43 PM

QUOTE (civilian_number_two @ Jan 29 2009, 01:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
LOL. A box cutter? That tool is illegal in EVERY country in the world, when you're in an AIRPORT. I feel it may be necessary to add another link at this time.

laugh.gif



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#9 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 06 March 2009 - 04:07 AM

awwwww I'm sorry you're feeling crummy Otal

*Atlas hugs to cheer you up*

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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