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Barack Obama Will Not Look Like This Wednesday, January 21, 2009

#1 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 21 January 2009 - 07:32 PM

Barack Obama Will Not Look Like This

Given that this is the first full day of Barack Obama's presidency, I had something I needed to discuss concerning the new president.

First let me say that it has long been the standing of chefelf.com to stay decidedly unpolitical. I prefer to not alienate any readers who may hate me based on my political views. I am always disappointed to find out that someone I really like/respect has wildly different political/social views than me and it's often very hard to shake that going forward. Ninety percent of my readers found this site based on my opinions on Star Wars so I'd like to leave my political opinions aside. Basically if it's something completely unimportant (i.e. Star Wars) I am comfortable with carrying on and complaining about it. Important stuff has no place in polite discourse.

Every eight years or so we in the Lance & Eskimo Collective take a controversial turn by simply mentioning something that involves politics. For example, in 2002 we broke this story after finally figuring out that George W. Bush bore a striking resemblence to Roscoe P. Coltrane. It's a risky move for us but to maintain our integrity as honest journalists it is something we must do every six or seven years.

I hadn't thought much about Barack Obama's looks over the past two years other than that the beefcake picture of him on the beach was shockingly sexy for that of a president. I also thought that he looked a lot like he might be a character from Aeon Flux. That was until a couple of weeks ago I noticed this article on CNN.
The CNN story gave advice to Obama on battling presidential aging. In the story they offered this projection of what the president may look like in four years:



Basically I wanted to go on the record as saying that there is no possible way that Barack Obama will look this bad after only four years in office. Eight, maybe. Just four, not possible. I don't think he would look this bad at then end of six terms if they repealed the lame duck amendment.

Just look at that picture on the right. I'm calling it right now on day one, he will not look like that after four years. If you disagree, simply open your calendar program of choice and set and alert to remind you to check this link on January 21, 2013. I guarantee you that you will find I was right. I'd be happy to make some sort of friendly wager that would involve me giving something away in 2013 which may or may not involve various belongings of mine. I may feel confident to even put future children on the table.

I'd just like to set a few guidelines. I withdraw this challenge if the president . . .

  • . . . becomes friendly with the CGI artists who worked on The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  • . . . retires from office after 4 (or 8) years, lives to the age of 80, becomes nostalgic for the glory days of his first term, invents a time machine, travels back in time, kills his younger self, and assumes office in his place, obviously causing a major temporal paradox.
  • . . . attempts a Force lightning attack on Mace Windu.
  • . . . befriends José Luis Pérez.
  • . . . chooses the wrong grail seconds before this picture is taken.


Barring any of the above I will see you in 2013 and I will claim my victory.
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#2 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 25 January 2009 - 02:51 AM

Ah yes, cant have people hating you for your political ideals, cuz that's the one positive thing they can say that keeps them from assaulting you over your views on Starwars or Heinlein or extinct beverages.

Also, the melty Nazi and Darth Sidious points were awesome. But I see Obama, for now at least, as Mace Windu more than Sidious. Busting into some pasty bitch's office all like "This party's over!"

Now if he'd only swing a light saber about while doing it....

<3

As for the bet, I will wager the consumption of the extinct beverage of my or your choosing.

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Posted 26 January 2010 - 11:21 AM

Sorry to necromance, but I saw this picture of Obama today and I immediately thought of this post, Chefelf.
Posted Image
He's looking pretty bad. When I first read this post I was in total agreement, but now I dunno - he very well may end up looking that old by the end of the first term!
Here's another pic but I'll just link it cuz it's bigger.
click

This post has been edited by Spoon Poetic: 26 January 2010 - 01:07 PM

I am writing about Jm in my signature because apparently it's an effective method of ignoring him.
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Posted 28 January 2010 - 11:44 AM

3 years to go! Only time will tell!
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#5 User is offline   Deucaon Icon

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Posted 26 March 2010 - 10:29 AM

I respect Chefelf wholeheartedly for being publicly apolitical. If only because it reduces the number of people to refute to a more reasonable number. That aside, Bush and Clinton looked pretty bad after their terms were up. But then the former is a recovering alcoholic and the latter is a recovering rapist. Unless Obama is an alcoholic rapist, I also doubt he'll look like that after only four years in office.
"I felt insulted until I realized that the people trying to mock me were the same intellectual titans who claimed that people would be thrown out of skyscrapers and feudalism would be re-institutionalized if service cartels don't keep getting political favors and regulations are cut down to only a few thousand pages worth, that being able to take a walk in the park is worth driving your nation's economy into the ground, that sexual orientation is a choice that can be changed at a whim, that problems caused by having institutions can be solved by introducing more institutions or strengthening the existing ones that are causing the problems, and many more profound pearls of wisdom. I no longer feel insulted because I now feel grateful for being alive and witnessing such deep conclusions from my fellows."
-Jimmy McTavern, 1938.
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#6 User is offline   deeclurge Icon

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Posted 18 February 2011 - 01:25 AM

hi, new to the site, thanks.
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#7 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 22 March 2011 - 03:53 AM

I read that guy's name as DeeDurge... and I was wondering who had come to sing a durge for deepsycher...

Also, Cobnacon, you're a twit.

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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Posted 20 May 2012 - 10:08 AM

Just posting to say, "I told you so."

Here's the original CNN prediction:

Posted Image

Here's a pic of Obama from yesterday:

Posted Image

Granted, he still has six months to go but I'm going to declare an early victory on this one.
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#9 User is offline   Ninja Duck Icon

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Posted 16 June 2012 - 01:40 PM

I absolutely must find out what he does for wrinkles.
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#10 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 01:56 PM

I expect he bathes in the blood of the countless innocents he murders with his drone death squads.

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#11 User is offline   Lynxfox Icon

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Posted 27 October 2013 - 01:07 AM

Goodness, it's almost like they said something outrageous, just to get attention.

Well-played, media. Well-played.
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