Given that this is the first full day of Barack Obama's presidency, I had something I needed to discuss concerning the new president.
First let me say that it has long been the standing of chefelf.com to stay decidedly unpolitical. I prefer to not alienate any readers who may hate me based on my political views. I am always disappointed to find out that someone I really like/respect has wildly different political/social views than me and it's often very hard to shake that going forward. Ninety percent of my readers found this site based on my opinions on Star Wars so I'd like to leave my political opinions aside. Basically if it's something completely unimportant (i.e. Star Wars) I am comfortable with carrying on and complaining about it. Important stuff has no place in polite discourse.
Every eight years or so we in the Lance & Eskimo Collective take a controversial turn by simply mentioning something that involves politics. For example, in 2002 we broke this story after finally figuring out that George W. Bush bore a striking resemblence to Roscoe P. Coltrane. It's a risky move for us but to maintain our integrity as honest journalists it is something we must do every six or seven years.
I hadn't thought much about Barack Obama's looks over the past two years other than that the beefcake picture of him on the beach was shockingly sexy for that of a president. I also thought that he looked a lot like he might be a character from Aeon Flux. That was until a couple of weeks ago I noticed this article on CNN.
The CNN story gave advice to Obama on battling presidential aging. In the story they offered this projection of what the president may look like in four years:
Basically I wanted to go on the record as saying that there is no possible way that Barack Obama will look this bad after only four years in office. Eight, maybe. Just four, not possible. I don't think he would look this bad at then end of six terms if they repealed the lame duck amendment.
Just look at that picture on the right. I'm calling it right now on day one, he will not look like that after four years. If you disagree, simply open your calendar program of choice and set and alert to remind you to check this link on January 21, 2013. I guarantee you that you will find I was right. I'd be happy to make some sort of friendly wager that would involve me giving something away in 2013 which may or may not involve various belongings of mine. I may feel confident to even put future children on the table.
I'd just like to set a few guidelines. I withdraw this challenge if the president . . .
- . . . becomes friendly with the CGI artists who worked on The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- . . . retires from office after 4 (or 8) years, lives to the age of 80, becomes nostalgic for the glory days of his first term, invents a time machine, travels back in time, kills his younger self, and assumes office in his place, obviously causing a major temporal paradox.
- . . . attempts a Force lightning attack on Mace Windu.
- . . . befriends José Luis Pérez.
- . . . chooses the wrong grail seconds before this picture is taken.
Barring any of the above I will see you in 2013 and I will claim my victory.