[Chefelf]

It's been a while, I know. I'm currently in the process of upgrading the forums/main page integration in such a way that new main page updates will become much more regular. Unfortunately, certain resources I need to get the change happening are not currently available to me.

I've been fighting an ongoing war with DirectTV. My cause is a noble one. I simply want to have all of the channels I'm currently paying for all the time. However, like in one of those cable company sponsored TV ads, this has left me in the position of climbing ladders, duct taping satellite dishes, and climbing through piles of fiberglass insulation up in my attic.

The result after 12 hours and about $40 spent: No noticeable change.

To add to the frustration I developed a nasty rash on my right arm on Monday morning. I attributed the rash to "fiberglass poisoning" which is something I made up but it seemed likely to be the cause. I began to get worried when the fiberglass poisoning began to spread. Being the world's foremost expert on this affliction I knew that fiberglass poisoning does not spread, that is just an old wife's tale.

At work this morning I went online and did a search for medical sights on rashes. I found out that the rash I have is something that the medical profession commonly refers to as "poison ivy". Upon further investigation I found a picture of a poison ivy leave and sure enough that's exactly what I was feeding coaxial cable over on Sunday afternoon. Odd. I'm not quite sure why my landlord elected to plant what seems to be 50% poison ivy bushes in our backyard.

The delicious irony of this is that as a child I spent a great deal of time outdoors, running around with no shirt on in the woods behind my house. I spent summers at good ol' camp Yawgoog, traipsing through the brush and canoeing across lakes. Never, not even once, did I get poison ivy. Now I am now 26 and spend, on average, 23.5 hours a day indoors. I got poison ivy by reaching over a bush to run coaxial cable to further the joys of being indoors and never having to leave my darkened apartment. That simple fact would certainly have put a smile on O. Henry's face were he here to see it.

DirectTV showed up again today and the outcome is that I still don't have reliable TV. I do, however, have poison ivy rash all over my arms.

At least that's something.

[Heccubus]

I can see using Poison Ivy plants as a way to keep people from traipsing about in the gardens. Just a thought.
Either way, I wish we still had regular cable. The dish is just annoying to deal with at times, and it doesn't always seem to be worth it.
"Hey, it's cloudy, looks like it might rain. Wanna go inside and watch TV?"
"Can't, the dish goes out every time a slight weather disturbance occurs."
"Oh..well...I guess I'll go home and watch TV then."
"Bollocks to your regular TV. I have 25 different local channels from across the country."
"Mine works no matter what the weather is like."
"I hate you."

And with that, Heccubus decided to put this ridiculous post out of its misery.

[mrRobinson]

That's funny. All of it. I laughed.

RE: Poison Ivy.
I grew up surrounded by woods that I played in frequently. Got poison ivy, oak, sumac, what have you. Sometime between the ages of 18-20 I became "immune" to it. Just poison ivy cause i can still get oak and sumac. The doctor said that can happen, you can develop an immunity to it. In your case, also the reverse can happen. The chemical that causes the rash could not bother you as a child but now it does, maybe because of no exposure to it over the years or maybe it just happened. Anyway now you know. Also as one with much experience with poison ivy, it doesn't always wash off too easily. If you touch a plant, or worse its roots, then go in and wash your hands and think you'll be safe, think again. You really need to scrub. A friend of mine took a shower after clearing some poison ivy, that served to spread the chemical all over his body, not wash it away.

Also once you have the rash, any liquid inside, and scratching it will NOT further spread the rash. It will irritate you more but not spread it any further. Only that chemical which is harder to remove than most think will spread it. And depending on the sensitivity of the skin the chemical touched the rash can appear after a day or 3 days. uhm, that's all i have to say about poison ivy and it was much longer and more pointless than i originally thought.

[SimeSublime]

I've never seen it in my life, and I count myself lucky. It seems quite common up there?

[mrtimp]

i just hafta tell my poison ivy story, its pretty nasty, some jamook in my neighborhood (a long time agomind you) decided to burn bunch of brush in his yard which normally is ok i guess except for the fact the moron put poison ivy leaves in with the stuff he was burning, needless to say i caught it that way and had it so bad i was rushed to the ER, swollen eyes looked like i went 10 rounds with tyson and my ears were swollen shut to the point i couldnt hear, 5 hrs at the ER and a million aveno baths later i was ok but it was scary there for a few days.



*starts scratching uncontrollably at the thought of it*

[Chefelf]

Heccubus
To tell you the truth, DirectTV can go to hell. If I can't get it working properly soon I am going to have to cut up a big slice of humble pie bake up some crow and have them as part of a two course meal of misery and humiliation -- by calling the cable company and asking them to take me back.

mrRobinson
A guy at work told me a similar story about how he developed an immunity to it, growing up in the wilds of Tennessee. While I would like to have the immunity I guess I am glad that I didn't have to spend a great deal of my childhood suffering from it.

SimeSublime
Up there? It's pretty common, I suppose -- here in Rhode Island. Where are your from?

mrtimp
I've been hearing a lot of people telling similar stories to me now that I have it. That is pretty scary. Apparently getting it that way is the worst. you can inhale the smoke and get poison ivy in your lungs. IN YOUR LUNGS! AHHHHHHH!

[Heccubus]

Heccubus
To tell you the truth, DirectTV can go to hell. If I can't get it working properly soon I am going to have to cut up a big slice of humble pie bake up some crow and have them as part of a two course meal of misery and humiliation -- by calling the cable company and asking them to take me back.

I now have a mental image of you calling the cable company as if you were calling a girl that you wanted to get back together with. Hilarious.

[SimeSublime]

Perth, Western Australia. From here, pretty much anywhere is 'up there'