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Stop Smoking Through Bludgeoning! Friday, October 3rd, 2008

#1 User is offline   Chyld Icon

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Posted 03 October 2008 - 01:18 PM

QUOTE
Malaysian couple killed in stop-smoking ritual
Pair beaten by relatives with broomsticks, motorbike helmets, police say

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - Relatives beat a Malaysian couple to death in a ritual apparently meant to help the man to stop smoking, police said Friday.

The couple died of head injuries after being beaten with broomsticks and motorbike helmets during a family gathering at a Kuala Lumpur home Wednesday, said Ku Chin Wah, head of the city's crime investigations department.

One of the couple's sons and three other relatives remain in custody. Four other detained family members have been released, Ku said.
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According to those detained, a nephew suggested the beating ritual after the man said he could not stop smoking and the woman complained of a liver ailment, Ku said.

Reports: Nephew convinced relatives to beat each other
It is not clear who was responsible for the deaths, but local media reported that the nephew convinced all the members of the Muslim family to beat each other.

The couple's 15-year-old niece, also injured in the beating ritual, has been hospitalized, Ku said. Several others, including the couple's children, who are 14, 19 and 21 years old, also suffered injuries.

Police are still investigating the case. Local media reported the families are believed to have joined a cult recently, but that could not be immediately confirmed.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27005325/


Thanks to JM for this. Seriously, we should just make him a Crappy News Team member, I think he's found half the news stories we've ever run up!

Well, you can't argue the treatment didn't work, they're never going to smoke again.
When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.

Less Is More v4
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#2 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 03 October 2008 - 09:32 PM

I can see the broom sticks..... but motorcycle helmets? Why? Maybe they're good for liver ailments....

Also, totally. Although there's going to be a lot less political crappy news come January, I'm sure I can still rustle some up. Biden does look like he might be good for a laugh on occasion.

This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 03 October 2008 - 09:34 PM

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#3 User is offline   Man Of Doom Icon

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Posted 04 October 2008 - 07:41 PM

That's some hardcore aversion therapy.
"Stop smoking or else I'll beat you to death."
Unfortunately aversion therapy has limited effectiveness in the real world. Or the alternate universe where a motorcycle helmet is a viable weapon.
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League Of Villains
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#4 User is offline   Gobbler Icon

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Posted 05 October 2008 - 02:41 AM

"Oh god... where am I? Why does my head hurt like a bitch? What have I been doing last night... Christ, I need a smoke."

Quote

Pop quiz, hotshot. Garry Kasparov is coming to kill you, and the only way to change his mind is for you to beat him at chess. What do you do, what do you do?
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Posted 05 October 2008 - 06:03 AM

Finally a scientificly proven %100 effective meathod of quiting. Its about time guys!
QUOTE (arien @ Jun 29 2008, 03:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So this baby, while still inside its mother, murdered his twin brother and STOLE HIS PENIS.

That is one badass baby.

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#6 User is offline   Dr Lecter Icon

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Posted 05 October 2008 - 07:59 AM

I'd love to see the American version of this...
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#7 User is offline   Chyld Icon

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Posted 05 October 2008 - 11:49 AM

Its very similar, only there's 250 times the number of lawsuits involved.
When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.

Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
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#8 User is offline   Dr Lecter Icon

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Posted 05 October 2008 - 03:20 PM

The general rule of Amerification is A = X * (Guns + TV + lawyers)
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#9 User is offline   reiner Icon

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Posted 06 October 2008 - 08:33 AM

Wait... I could shoot the gun AT someone? You mean to go against my inborn instinct to fire wildly into the air, while holding a jug of moonshine in my other hand, wearing overalls, and riding in the back of my friend's pickup proudly displaying an American flag on a 2x4?

You Brits are too smart for me. Thanks for the idea! I could use a smoke, now...
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Posted 06 October 2008 - 09:04 AM

We'll all watch while drinking tea, eating crumples, and killing foxes.
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Posted 06 October 2008 - 12:44 PM

Ok, all I have to say is... SOME family gatherings would be greatly improved by including a beating or two.
"The problem is, you're not a kangaroo... that's a bear... and he's in your pants."
"Maybe artists shouldn't talk about their art."
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Posted 06 October 2008 - 12:54 PM

tru dat, tru dat...

Quote

Pop quiz, hotshot. Garry Kasparov is coming to kill you, and the only way to change his mind is for you to beat him at chess. What do you do, what do you do?
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#13 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 04 November 2008 - 04:22 PM

QUOTE (J m HofMarN @ Oct 3 2008, 09:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can see the broom sticks..... but motorcycle helmets? Why? Maybe they're good for liver ailments....

Also, totally. Although there's going to be a lot less political crappy news come January, I'm sure I can still rustle some up. Biden does look like he might be good for a laugh on occasion.


You know if you drop a motorctcle helmet on the ground you're legally obliged to buy a new one. It looses it's saftey rating.

So hitting someone to death with one is just retarded.

Well, unless it was their helmet, then I guess if your going to beat them to death with they're not really going ot need it.
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