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Burglury Turns Into Sausagefest Tuesday 19th September, 2008

#1 User is offline   Chyld Icon

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 06:26 AM

QUOTE
Authorities: Burglar wakes men with spice rub
Suspect also allegedly struck sleeping man with sausage before fleeing

FRESNO, California - Authorities say they've arrested a man who broke into the home of two California farmworkers, stole money, rubbed one of the men with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing.

Fresno County sheriff's Lt. Ian Burrimond says 22-year-old Antonio Vasquez was found hiding in a field wearing only a T-shirt, boxers and socks after the Saturday morning attack.

He says deputies arrested Vasquez after finding a wallet containing his ID in the ransacked house.

The farmworkers told deputies the suspect woke them Saturday morning by rubbing spices on one of them and smacking the other with an 8-inch sausage.

Burrimond says money allegedly stolen was recovered.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26604749/


Thanks to JM for this one

God knows I'd feel better about being robbed if I had a spice rub to go with it.
When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 10:33 AM

So he robs them with no pants and they say he hit them with a sausage? Okay, guys... Whatever makes you feel better about the fact that he clubbed you in the jaw with his dick.
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Posted 19 September 2008 - 11:53 AM

Damn, 8 inches.
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Posted 19 September 2008 - 10:56 PM

Wow. quite a lot of odd burglaries going on recently between this and hte other one. I wander what kind of spice rub it was? by the area I'd say probably mesquite, but you cant get a spice rub to stick to a sausage so not sure why he had it. Either way, weird wild stuff sir!

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Posted 20 September 2008 - 03:58 PM

A rather short article, but one of the funniest things I've read in a while.

Oh, and the comments you guys posted made it even better.
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Posted 21 September 2008 - 01:29 PM

Wow. He smacks them with a "sausage" but leaves his wallet behind? I'm also going with the rub consisting of tamarind, because it just came to me. I know nothing about spice rubs.
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#7 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 22 September 2008 - 02:40 AM

If he indeed rubbed them with tamarind then I must quote Johnny Depp's Ichabod Crane: "Gentlemen, what we are dealing with is a mad man!"

Also, in all the arcane texts on the dark arts of cheffery, I have never seen or heard of a thing such as tamarind being used as a spice rub. Although it is possible that he conjured it through sheer force of weirdness. Spice rubs generally consist of whole grain salt, coarse pepper, celery salt, garlic, crushed red pepper, lemon zest and whatever else. I've only ever encountered tamarind in the form of Worcestershire and then once in an Indian joint as a very strange syrup that is terrifying.

TERRIFYING.

This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 22 September 2008 - 02:43 AM

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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