[J m HofMarN]

Ok, so I finally decided to make a statement on why Sime has to be exiled from The Party and hunted to his utter ruin and, preferably, that of everyone he remotely cares for. The hope is that we can hire half of his relatives to kill the other half anonymously and send them all to a warehouse, which will be bombed. All of the body parts will then be gathered up and used to flog Sime. The flogging will be done by gnomes.

The reason for this is a subtle and yet intense ideological difference that goes to the very heart of what The Party is about. It all started while Slade and I were planning our next magnum opus, the latest in a series of these. As the principal thinkers of The Party we did not see any need to include Sime, but just to make sure he didn't feel left out we mentioned our ideas, in a dumbed down version he could easily comprehend. What followed was nothing short of blasphemy:

He called our idea about making a movie where it's just two hours of Snape (as portrayed by Alan Rickman) being really snide to people.

Sime took our orgasmically brilliant idea and just pissed all over it, calling it "fan fiction" despite the fact that he had never even seen the script! At that point we both agreed: Sime would die before the dawning of the fourth moon.

[Vesuvius]

He called our idea about making a movie where it's just two hours of Snape (as portrayed by Alan Rickman) being really snide to people.

Sime took our orgasmically brilliant idea and just pissed all over it, calling it "fan fiction" despite the fact that he had never even seen the script! At that point we both agreed: Sime would die before the dawning of the fourth moon.

Ahhhh, so this explains the hostility. Understood. Although I can not take sides on the matter on "who should be killed," I do however like the idea of a film all about Severus Snape.

My favorite HP character all around. Good choice. Calling "fan fiction" I'd say is a little extreme. If Rowling wishes to extrapolate the character more, then by all means, she should do it. Hell, Lucas showed us "Anakin," but I know Rowling could get a good director for a film about Snape.

[SimeSublime]

Incidentally, I also liked the idea. The fact that it's fan fiction is completely irrelevant.

[J m HofMarN]

Clearly you lack understanding of what fanfiction is. As a remedy to your ignorance, and on my desk by Monday, a three page report about fan fiction with special emphasis on sources you've viewed.

Hmmm... wait. Perhaps sentencing you to read Harry Potter fan fiction was a little extreme. I'll have to talk this over with the central comittee.*

*Slade.