[Toru-chan]

There are those who believe George Lucas is a great film maker, and while he may have temporarily stumbled, he will eventually regain his footing and wow us again with wonderful stories of escapist fantasy. And there are those who believe he's a flannelet-clad toy salesman who, as rich as he is, only cares about getting even richer.

Well, If you think Lucas may have learned his lesson from The Phantom Menace Promotional Debacle, think again. Here's a Press Release by HASBRO, released through BusinessWire and so spammed mercilessly to trade publications. This stuff isn't exactly secret, but the average Joe isn't meant to see it. It explains how The Clone Wars Toon will be tied in with a marketing campaign assaulting children as young as four ("Hey Kids! Your older brother was wrong! Star Wars is cool after all"). Toon. Toys. Well what more could we expect from the man who gave us Ewoks?

This is funnier if you imagine Lucas reading it aloud:

PAWTUCKET, R.I., Jul 22, 2008 (BUSINESS WIRE) -- With the launch of STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS, the galaxy far, far away continues to evolve and expand -- and as it has done for more than 30 years, Hasbro is on board to translate the excitement of these all-new adventures into toys. On July 26, 2008, Hasbro brings home all of the fun of STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS to kids of all ages. In addition to the STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS toy line, Hasbro will also launch other new STAR WARS toys on July 26, including the largest MILLENNIUM FALCON toy ever designed, as well as new characters from the STAR WARS TRANSFORMERS universe. STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS Toy Line.

(Approximate retail price: $34.99; Ages 6 and up; Available: July 26, 2008)
The STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS ULTIMATE LIGHTSABER set allows young Padawans the opportunity to create more than a thousand different lightsaber combinations using the customization components, including signature Jedi and Sith lightsabers from the new STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS series.

(Approximate Retail Price: $149.99; Ages 4 & up; Available July 26, 2008)
Updating the fan-favorite MILLENNIUM FALCON toy for the first time since its inception in 1979, Hasbro is launching the largest MILLENNIUM FALCON toy to ever travel the galaxy. The new STAR WARS MILLENNIUM FALCON is approximately 30 percent larger than the original version and includes authentic electronic lights and sounds and can accommodate up to 18 action figures (includes 2 figures, other figures sold separately).

(Approximate retail price: $99.99; Ages 4 and up; Available: July 26, 2008)
Star Wars fans and collectors will travel at light speed to toy stores for the chance to take this massive, six-legged Clone Wars vehicle for a spin. Measuring two feet long, the AT-TE can transport 20 clone troopers (includes 1 figure, other figures sold separately) and is packed with galactic sounds and firing features.

(Rest deleted out of mercy to the reader)
http://www.marketwat...b...D&dist=hppr

Yes, George The Toy Whore Strikes Back.

This post has been edited by Toru-chan: 23 July 2008 - 07:23 AM

[Vesuvius]

Nice.

The toys pay for more films to be made so in turn the films can crank out more toys. Sooner or later, people collecting SW toys (in mint condition) are going to realise the depretiation coming soon for them. It's like currency, if a country prints more money, it loses value.

The toy line was losing value when they kept re-re-releasing another Boba Fett. The toy line was pretty much fizzled out when a third or fourth Darth Maul figure was made.

Seriously, what are kids going to do with a gicantic Millenium Falcon?! They're not going to play with that. I've noticed that kids today don't like the OT, and treat the PT like a fling. Sure some love the games, but that's about it.

All in all, toys and action figures will be collected by only the serious basement dweller/fanboy, but their limited income isn't enough to support the toy craze when there are other things to waste money on.

(sigh) ...not many kids like even Lego's anymore. It's all about HD, Wi-Fi, i-Pod, and a load of semi-pornographic programing that keeps their attention.

[Toru-chan]

I had a money-obsessed friend who told me my Star Wars figures were "Collectors Items" and "Worth a lot". I looked them up. Turns out they're not worth that much at all. Apparently there are a lot of them out there. And that's the 1977 stuff. The Phantom Menace Action Figures I rushed out to buy are worth nothing. Crap. I even bought Jar Jar. And I only bought those because the local *grocery supermarket* was dumping them.

Seriously, what are kids going to do with a gicantic Millenium Falcon?! They're not going to play with that.

But it's *THIRTY-PERCENT BIGGER*. *THIRTY PERCENT!!!!!* No, that's a ridiculous one, and I think kids today might ask "What's an Millenium Falcon?" No, only worst bedwetting fanboys are going to buy this one. They might as well stick a banner on this site: force.net

I've noticed that kids today don't like the OT, and treat the PT like a fling. Sure some love the games, but that's about it.

Timing is everything. OT was the first action space opera in a long, long time. PT was more like a bad story arc of Bablyon 5. Kids have a much bigger choice. The Cartoon Network TV Series is a nice marketing idea, and the great thing about putting it on TV is kids will watch it anyway, even if it's complete crap. A whole new generation of toy consumers, and George Lucas may have finally found a medium that suits him.

This post has been edited by Toru-chan: 23 July 2008 - 11:47 PM

[Toru-chan]

Grrr... This board software locks your posts about an hour after you post them. I wish I wouldn't, because I just wanted to add these links: It's HASBRO's press release oozing through the bowels of the retail marketing machine. When it comes out the other end, it looks like this:

Sometimes the turd is sprayed with viral marketng:

http://krisabel.ctv....23/3806561.html

Some at least wipe the verbal diarrhea that dribbles from HASBRO:

http://www.worldscre...asbro072308.htm
http://www.animation...et/article/8640

FOX doesn't even do that. They run it verbatim:

http://www.foxbusine...-animated-star/

[Dorothy]

Seriously, what are kids going to do with a gicantic Millenium Falcon?!

Eeep. I want one.

But it's *THIRTY-PERCENT BIGGER*. *THIRTY PERCENT!!!!!* ... No, only worst bedwetting fanboys are going to buy this one. They might as well stick a banner on this site: force.net

I still want one.

The Cartoon Network TV Series is a nice marketing idea, and the great thing about putting it on TV is kids will watch it anyway, even if it's complete crap.

Off Subject: Hey, isn't the CN Clone Wars Mini-miniseries non-canonical now? I think I read that somewhere. If I were Tartakovski, I think I would be pissed, maybe.

[Vesuvius]

This is insane, but it is a stable cashcrop. I did like the soft glow of the engines on the MF toy, that was nice, but when did that little scout ship come about? Or is that some new digitally created scene that we should look forward too?

All this junk is just for nostalgia. And I like the comment posted by a wife on one of those links that "when her husband dies, she'll have a great garage sale."

BTW, Tartakovski's CW was awesome! That's a shame their throwing him under the bus when he was honored to do SW in the first place. I just saw a preview for this new CW and I'm wondering when did Anakin face Dooku (durring the Clone Wars) when in EP III, Anakin and Dooku meet only for the SECOND time as mentioned by their exchanging of taunts?

This post has been edited by Vesuvius: 24 July 2008 - 01:09 PM

[Toru-chan]

"He's more toy manufacturer now than film maker...twisted and greedy. But there's still character goods in him. I can feel it."

This is insane, but it is a stable cashcrop.

I'm wondering. Let's suppose I'm a wannabe film maker who would like my own cash crop. How could I do it? Creating intricately-detailed imaginary worlds where nerds get a thrill out of correcting you on some obscure but completely stupid detail seems to work well, be it $tar War$ or LOTR. I've never understood the appeal of Star Trek though; it doesn't have a rich history, and the shows are about as interesting as an IKEA catalog. Why do people love that? Other things like Babylon 5, while apparently well made, never kicked off that sort of fanaticism. Basically, how do I become rich?

Kids on the other hand are easier to rope in: computer graphics, no story, lots of merchandise, and a marketing campaign to make either the kids whine how much they want it, or make parents think the kids want it. A tie in with a Cartoon Cable Channel is a great way to brainwash them: The TV show *is* the commercial.

All this junk is just for nostalgia. And I like the comment posted by a wife on one of those links that "when her husband dies, she'll have a great garage sale."

I'd like to make a documentary series where I interview basement-dwelling fanboys, seemingly in admiration of them, then release something mocking them mercilessly. I could add a mocking laugh and boo track. Network TV would lap it up.

BTW, Tartakovski's CW was awesome! That's a shame their throwing him under the bus when he was honored to do SW in the first place. I just saw a preview for this new CW and I'm wondering when did Anakin face Dooku (durring the Clone Wars) when in EP III, Anakin and Dooku meet only for the SECOND time as mentioned by their exchanging of taunts?

Ok. I've never watched *any* of the CW toons, CGI or the thing I think you're talking about? Were they any good? No, seriously...

Oh and hey check this out. More Fricking Jango Fett. Didn't he die soon after they met him? I hate Boba Fett. Always have.

This post has been edited by Toru-chan: 24 July 2008 - 11:27 PM

[Vesuvius]

"He's more toy manufacturer now than film maker...twisted and greedy. But there's still character goods in him. I can feel it."

Kids on the other hand are easier to rope in: computer graphics, no story, lots of merchandise, and a marketing campaign to make either the kids whine how much they want it, or make parents think the kids want it. A tie in with a Cartoon Cable Channel is a great way to brainwash them: The TV show *is* the commercial.

Exactly! Where people can find the absurdities in a film, toys, posters, and soundtracks, will cover the sins of the past. People hated EP I, but Darth Maul was the advertised action figure, and it kept the interest of buyer, regardless of his love/hate with the film. Action figures make the story a little more flexible due to one's imagination. Keep in mind, it was our imaginations that made the PT, originaly, not George Lucas.

I'd like to make a documentary series where I interview basement-dwelling fanboys, seemingly in admiration of them, then release something mocking them mercilessly. I could add a mocking laugh and boo track. Network TV would lap it up.

And if any critic gave it bad reviews and claimed you were exploiting peoples habits, you could say, "Well guys, I did it for the LULZ!"

Ok. I've never watched *any* of the CW toons, CGI or the thing I think you're talking about? Were they any good? No, seriously...

Oh and hey check this out. More Fricking Jango Fett. Didn't he die soon after they met him? I hate Boba Fett. Always have.

Okay, in the image we see a "Jango Fett" looking trooper. If you watch the CW episodes that are not CG like this film, Obi-wan encounters them and describes them as ARC Troopers, and they are the Elite of the clone program. Much like the commando program from the game Republic Commando. Those guys are aggressive as Hell, much like the orignal host.... supposedly. As for the CW cartoons, they are pretty good! If you like Samurai Jack, you'll like these cartoons. It explains a few things here and there, 3PO's gold plating, General Grievous wheezing, etc.

Check it out, it's worth a watch. GL could learn something from this.

This post has been edited by Vesuvius: 25 July 2008 - 12:29 PM

[Toru-chan]

Thanks for the heads up on the original CW series. I will check them out. After the PT mess I just gave up on Star Wars, and figured the PT movies were toonish enough. Funny. GL came up with a great idea, but he's very bad at filling in the details. If he was smart he would have hired a team of good writers to do it for him. Not fan boys. Fan boys have no concept of quality. LucasFilm right now is full of fanboys.

Dammit. I'm going to dream up my own franchise. Sci-fi or Fantasy. I mean I could do better than GL, right? The hard part is, it's easy to look at bad movies and see where the mistakes are. PT is a great example for that (and even with the OT looking back at ROTJ I can see many good things but also some glaring flaws). But when I see something good it's hard to define exactly why it is so good. Just that it's good.

[Vesuvius]

PT is a great example for that (and even with the OT looking back at ROTJ I can see many good things but also some glaring flaws). But when I see something good it's hard to define exactly why it is so good. Just that it's good.

Well, for starters, I loved ESB because of it's emotional power that the characters gave along with the music. The story was there and the direction was there because Lucas let it go for a bit. ESB had the BEST Palpatine IMO, and the Force was explained in it's best possible sense, ever. Story telling was at it's best here, and it didn't need to be wrapped up so perfectly in RotJ. We were given a cliffhanger situation with ESB, and really, that's what Lucas wanted, action serials (like Flash Gordon).

It's like that awefull "special" ending of Terminator 2, where everything is perfect in the future... it doesn't work and it diminishes a fanbase. People want to see continual plight, and somehow, the heroes do escape, but only into another peril. This can be done, just so long as it doesn't get cheezy. You know, like visible strings, floppy latex arms, and a bunch of wierd terms for things that we can already relate to.

[Toru-chan]

GL has said many things (and often contradicted himelf in the process), but one was that he wanted a cliffhanger-ending episode-after-episode action series. I guess that can work, but as discussed with the dramas you can have a powerful ending too. I did like the ending of T2, clean as it was. Felt like they'd come through a journey, and yeah, I cried, but then I cry a lot. ROTK was a blubfest. I get a little tired of the endings where the villain somehow escapes and drives/flies/swims into the sunset cackling madly.

Well, for starters, I loved ESB because of it's emotional power that the characters gave along with the music. The story was there and the direction was there because Lucas let it go for a bit. ESB had the BEST Palpatine IMO, and the Force was explained in it's best possible sense, ever. Story telling was at it's best here, and it didn't need to be wrapped up so perfectly in RotJ.Gordon).

Hmmm.. Ok. I'll try. I just loved the feel of it. It had atmosphere. The Icefields of Hoth. Space. Those very clean Imperial Star Destroyers. Dagobah. And that blue glow. I remember that shot when we see Hoth and then the imperial fleet suddenly boom into view. Because we'd never seen anything like this, I was in awe. The plot was interesting - I was young at the time, but it kept me, my family, and even my non-SF mom interested. The 'I am your father' thing was a nice twist. For me it had immersion. I was part of it. The ending was nice too - you wanted to know/cared what happened next, and it was emotional without being soppy. A class act.

[Vesuvius]

Hmmm.. Ok. I'll try. I just loved the feel of it. It had atmosphere. The Icefields of Hoth. Space. Those very clean Imperial Star Destroyers. Dagobah. And that blue glow. I remember that shot when we see Hoth and then the imperial fleet suddenly boom into view. Because we'd never seen anything like this, I was in awe. The plot was interesting - I was young at the time, but it kept me, my family, and even my non-SF mom interested. The 'I am your father' thing was a nice twist. For me it had immersion. I was part of it. The ending was nice too - you wanted to know/cared what happened next, and it was emotional without being soppy. A class act.

See! And this is where the toys come it to the scene. A good film is made, it entrances the audience and they want the story to continue. So you go out, buy the junk, have hours of fun, until the sequel smashes every bit of it to pieces. Then the sequel grows on you, you buy those toys, and you have a few good times with those, but it was all about the memories of good film making and the icons (toys) it represents.

Heh, stick to Lego, at least there you can make just about anything and smash it to pieces yourself.

[Toru-chan]

Nothing says "new action figure" like a three-second close-up of a bystander in a crowd scene.

[Vesuvius]

Nothing says "new action figure" like a three-second close-up of a bystander in a crowd scene.

Yes, exactly! Like that "Captain Eyepatch" from EP II, or some of the podracers from EP I, or even that dude from RotJ, that says, "You rebel scum."

There are figures of all of these, and in the local toyhole, there were tons of unsold "bystander in a crowd" figures. Few people buy these guys, and they're crap. They didn't do much to progress the story so why even make them into toys?!

Like Sio Bibble from EP's I and II... who cares about this guy?

[Toru-chan]

Yes, exactly! Like that "Captain Eyepatch" from EP II, or some of the podracers from EP I, or even that dude from RotJ, that says, "You rebel scum."

There are figures of all of these, and in the local toyhole, there were tons of unsold "bystander in a crowd" figures. Few people buy these guys, and they're crap. They didn't do much to progress the story so why even make them into toys?!

Like Sio Bibble from EP's I and II... who cares about this guy?

We all know they do this because whatever GL puts on the shelves sells. Not always though. According to the "Secret History of Star Wars" (SHOSW) one factor spurring him onto the sequels was that sales of his plastic crap were down. I'm guessing the continued marketing campaign (Hello "Cartoon Network"), the continual leaks to the press are just to keep public interest there so he can keep the factories in China or where ever churning out plastic crap. For no other reason than money. GL got in a position where he could have been the Godfather of the film industry: launched a whole new wave of indy series, cinema, media. According to SHOSW this was his burning motivation to build Skywalker Ranch. And then, having got there, he became nothing more than a Toy Businessman.

Well all need to make a living, but ah.... what might have been.